#it just came out for streaming but I’m a little bit insane about this series so I saw the limited theatre run with my partner (less insane)

[grapefruitpeelz]

I’ve confined all my Knives Out: Glass Onion posting to my side acct to avoid flooding yall but ough the grip this movie series has on my peanut brain rn jdnekc I love trying to verbally explain the entire movies to my dad (he doesn’t really care for movies esp in english) so i end up exactly like that meme of quen explaining. hang on lemme find it

[ID: the aforementioned meme, of Quen Blackwell passionately explaining something in tears to her mother sat on a couch across from her with a bored expression. end ID]

BUT the goop of it is that we’re both wildly ND so I’m just jumping between plot points and infodumping at a rate not even I keep up with and he always just sits there like 😦 and it’s so funny w K/O cause I’m like “this guy MURDERED janelle monae!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND hes UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!“

[apompkwrites]

I just read your story, the one with Xiao and Albedo, its really good! I love it! Is it ok if you do the same thing but with Kaeya, Zhongli, Childe and Diluc version. I can see how excited these guys are since Kaeya first appeared is clapping his hand, the way Childe call Lumine 'Hey Girlie', Zhongli with how handsome he is especially his eyes and with Diluc how mysterious he is when he appeared out of nowhere

Feel free to do it if you're not busy or you can ignore this :3

reader impact || first meeting cont.

series masterlist characters: kaeya, diluc, childe genre: fluff summary: a game has been released entitled genshin impact, consisting of otherworldly abilities relying on the basic elements of nature. the game follows the story of an interdimensional traveling twin in search of their other half. along this journey, they meet different characters that live in this world. including you. notes: i’m glad you liked it! i’m having a lot of fun writing these so expect some more coming out :D i plan on doing more first meeting hcs and then branching off to other scenarios, so if there’s something specific, please request it! also, i’ve already done one for zhongli!

kaeya's playthrough -

he's more of a variety streamer, honestly.

most of his viewers watch him because of his carefree nature (as well as his looks).

obviously, he'd do a bunch of drinking streams whenever he could where he would just talk to his viewers about whatever came to mind.

during those streams, his viewers often try to ask him questions, which are only answered in vague statements.

his gaming streams are pretty rare compared to his chatting streams, but they're there nonetheless.

his viewers jump when they hear he's planning on playing genshin impact.

just neverending messages about a character they are convinced he will love.

he's so tempted to ask but decides not to, wanting to learn who this mystery character is on his own.

honestly, he was expecting you to appear way later in the story.

he's very interested in the looming threat of stormterror.

his character lands on the ground and he leans back to watch the cutscene play.

then he hears footsteps and sees his character look to someone offscreen.

this man practically LUNGES INTO HIS MONITOR WHEN THE CAMERA PANS UP TO YOU.

you walk in clapping at a calculated pace, which is when he leans forward and stares at your character model.

"i can't believe you have the power to stand up against that dragon... that said, are you a new ally... or a new storm?"

"oh, hun, i can be whatever you want me to be."

HE'S ALREADY FLIRTING WITH YOU PLEASE HIS CHAT IS IN HYSTERICS-

he knows his chat is freaking out, so he turns to the camera and sends his signature smirk.

"now i know why you guys wanted me to play this so bad."

"(name), kaeya, you've come at the right time. we must..."

"now now, don't forget to introduce us."

"oh... right. this is (name), our cavalry captain. these two are travelers from afar."

"ooh, they're a person in charge, too?"

HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING TO HIS CHAT BUT THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU DO TO HIM.

he genuinely likes you. like genuinely. he's fallen deep and he doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon.

if your costume has that long v-neck like his does...

hOO BOY HE'S THANKING EVERY DEVELOPER OF THIS GAME.

anyway, he's heard that there are characters you can only obtain throguh wishes, so he's kind of nervous to find out if that's the case with you.

he just really wants you in his party so y'all can be mysterious together.

"let me show you how the knights of favonius conquer our adversaries!"

"oh, yes. please do."

his viewers can and will make compilations of him flirting with you.

ngl, he's looking forward to those.

sometimes, your voice gets all quiet and he melts when he hears that.

he will pay to have voicelines of you flirting with him--

when he enters your trial domain, he will purposely avoid completing it just in case he doesn't get to keep you.

he sees some of his viewers talking about how you're a bad character and that the other characters are so much better.

too bad, they're banned now.

no (name) slander in his chat, thank you very much.

he loves your quips whenever he uses your elemental skill.

he loves you even more if those quips are puns based on your element.

finally, he's nearing the end of your domain. when that happens, he will slowly turn towards the camera and stare.

"if they aren't a permanent member on my team, this'll be the last stream of genshin."

"let's continue our adventure, shall we?"

obtained (name): a thinker in the knights of favonius with a somewhat exotic appearance.

"okay, so we'll continue streaming genshin soon."

he'll put you in the first slot of his party, moving his traveler character to the second.

his streams will always include him flirting with you, even if you don't reply.

diluc's playthrough -

his streams are mainly bartending based, so he likes mixing drinks on stream for his viewers.

he doesn't drink them, though. he gives them out to his friends and family once the stream is over.

it's pretty rare for him to play games but he'll do an occasional gaming stream if his friends and family don't want any drinks.

his chat always makes fun of him because he's a bartender that doesn't like the taste of alcohol.

he's very blunt, so he's not afraid to drop a game immediately if he isn't interested.

in fact, that's almost what he did with genshin.

it's not like the game is bad or anything, diluc just didn't care for it because of all the hype his chat shared.

he keeps playing, though, because someone promised he would really enjoy a character that comes up in the prologue.

granted, it's over an hour or so but it doesn't matter--

when he gets to the domain teaching him how to use cryo, he hates every minute of it.

he hates the character he's given and just wants to leave.

the demo character is one he doesn't really care for, especially because he's the type of person he dislikes coming to the bars he works at.

his chat is laughing at him when they reach the end because the cutscene continues with the character he hates.

he feels a bit better when he learns the abyss mage is in the domain because he gets to see and hear something that isn't the cryo character.

then he meets you.

you run into the domain out of nowhere, quickly defeating the abyss mage and tossing it towards the corner.

"knights of favonius... always so inefficient."

his chat goes insane when your character appears, especially because of how dumbfounded diluc looks.

he's known for not really emoting and it's the same case for this scene. however, his chat knows he is in love with your character.

he takes a few minutes when he's kicked out of the domain but he clears his throat and looks over at the camera.

"i'll be streaming this game again soon when the others don't want any drinks."

YOU SINGLEHANDEDLY SAVED THIS GAME FROM BEING TOSSED AWAY WITHIN A MINUTE OF APPEARING

THE POWER YOU HOLD OVER THIS MAN AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME--

cut to after he's stolen the lyre and is sent to the tavern.

he's a bit excited because he gets to visit mondstadt's tavern but then--

"master (name), this is this week's accounts."

"they're back."

HE'S SO NONCHALANT BUT WE ALL KNOW HE'S FREAKING OUT

he gets second-hand embarrassment when venti talks to you asking for the... least conspicuous table.

he's kinda sad when your character is suspicious of him, but he understands.

when the knights leave the tavern, he really wants venti to just shut up.

please you're embarrassing the man.

when he hears how you feel about him joining the knights, he is so willing to quit--

man just wants you to be proud of him and trust him :((

he's relieved to hear that you will help him and you don't hate him.

please give him validation--

childe's playthrough -

man is still rich he can do whatever he wants.

his gaming streams would definitely be pvp based games. honestly, just any game where he can fight someone, he'll play.

his chat also has a few little games they like to play together like guessing what the hell this man does to have so much money--

also his siblings crash in on his streams sometimes :D

those are pretty much the only times you'll see him be soft and not so competitive.

teucer likes crashing his streams to show off his plushies :))

anyway, genshin time!

he definitely tried to fight paimon the first time he loaded the game.

please expect lots of genshin stream from this guy because he needs to make his team deal the highest damage he can get.

also his wallet doesn't even have a dent in it despite all of the money he's spent on characters and weapons.

please sir what do you do for all that money

ok so onto your first meeting

he was really excited when the exuvia fell during the rite of descension because he thought he would get to fight whoever killed the great archon of liyue.

he really wanted to fight the millelith but then his chat convinced him to dodge them first.

one of his viewers explains that there's a character they know he'll like and he was very... intriguied to say the least.

he moves forward in his chair once his character is heard by the millelith, prepared to fight the various soldiers surrounding him.

"hang on, sweetheart. i've got this."

this man will squeal when you flip over the stairs in front of his character.

he doesn't know who you are and what you do but he knows for a fact that you are his new favorite character.

you take down all of the guards in two seconds, leaving him (and his in-game character) dumbfounded.

"come with me."

"o-okay..."

he's smitten.

he absolutely loves the way your character fights even if he met you about... a minute ago.

his siblings definitely come into his room to check on him because he's so quiet.

once he realizes you're a part of the harbingers, he's even more obsessed.

he hates the options the game gives him when he needs to respond because 2/3 of them are insulting you.

anyway he really likes listening to your voice.

he will give anything to hear you call him sweetheart again.

his chat informs him that the traveler he chose changed the nickname you give him, which makes him very happy.

when you send him off to talk to the other adepti, he's kind of disappointed he doesn't get to hang out with you.

but when he gets back to you...

"welcome back, sweetheart. how was your trip to jueyun karst?"

HE'S SOFT ALL OVER AGAIN PLEASE KEEP CALLING HIM SWEETHEART!!!

when he learns you're rich just like him... he gets all pouty. his chat, of course, wants to know why.

"... i want to be able to spoil her."

PLEASE HE'S SO IN LOVE WITH YOU <3

[jedijesi]

Biblichor: Chapter 20

Javier Peña x F!Reader

Series Masterlist 🤍 Previous Chapter

Warnings: Angst, Fluff????, she/her pronouns

Chapter Summery: You continue to recover from the tragedy at the library, but what happened while you were unconscious?

Word Count: 4,200+

A/N: Im currently in the moving process so this next week is going to be too insane for me to write.🤍 Sorry! I’m genuinely shocked I even found the time to do this but please enjoy!🤍

A soft, golden light shines on your eyelids, causing you to slowly blink awake. Your eyelids feel heavy, too heavy to open, but you fought through the discomfort. The pounding of your heart echoed in your ears as you looked around the room. The last thing you could really recall was Seb trying to get back with you in the library. Now, you are lying in a bed in a strange dark room.

You reach down to pull the covers of the bed up further to shelter you from the abnormality, but your sore body stopped you. You hissed and looked down at the bed. That's when you realized how incredibly soft the blankets around your torso and legs were. If you didn't know it was a bed, you would have guessed it was a cloud. Fighting the pain, you slowly stretched your arms open. It stung a little bit, but the feeling of your muscles relaxing was worth it. Unlike your small twin-sized bed, this one went on for miles. Your small bed could never compare to the heaven this bed brought you. An involuntary hum escaped your mouth as you enjoyed the foreign comfort.

You closed your eyes again in pleasure when memories came flooding back in. Not everything returned, though. Only the smell of fire, screams, bright lights, and a song by the Beach Boys. You furrowed your brows at the last faint memory but chose to ignore it when another interrupted.

. . . . .

12 days ago (1 Hour after Javier left)

“Chica!” Mary ran into the room with tears streaming down her face. “Oh, my precious, Chica! You don’t deserve this.” Mary leaned over you to give you a light hug.

Behind Mary, stood Chris and Steve. They shared faces laced with guilt. They too, felt some sort of responsibility for what had happened. You tried your best to give them a smile, but your aching body made it difficult.

“Has Javier visited yet?”

Your memory becomes foggy here. All you remember is the sick feeling in your gut and tears rolling down your cheeks.

You paused your thought to try to remember the last time you had seen Javier, but cringe, remembering how he ran away after you poured your heart out to him.

The rest of the memory was filled with you listening to Mary rant about how much she hates Javier. Soon after that, Connie had entered with your dose of medicine, and the memory ended there.

. . . . .

You sighed and tried to shimmy yourself up so that you could lean your back upon the pillows against the headboard. It took a few minutes of pain, but eventually, you were in a sitting position.

Your nerves returned once again when you looked around the shadowy room. For a bedroom, it was pretty empty- practically lifeless. Two lamps were placed on the nightstands beside the colossal bed. There was an open door that led to the bathroom. A dresser stood against the wall, at the end of the bed, and beside that was a door. You guessed the door led to the anonymous outside, but you were too nervous to test your theory.

You looked down at the gray sweatshirt on your body and tilted your head in dismay. It was much too large to be yours and based off of the fuzzy inside, it must have been worn only a few times. Although you loved the smell that it radiated, smelling like home. The duvet shifted, revealing more of the mysterious sweatshirt that read "DEA".

Your heart leaped when the doorknob started to jiggle. You quickly look around to find something to defend yourself with but was too late. The door opened, and you let out a small shriek before shutting your eyes.

“Woah! It's okay! It's just me!”

You hesitantly open your eyes to the beautiful sight before you. Feelings of relief, hatred, and adoration battled internally.

“What are you doing here, Javi? What am I doing here?”

Javier gave you an awkward smile before walking closer to you. He set a tray of food down on the nightstand beside the bed before taking a seat.

“It's… been a long and complicated twelve days.” Javier rubbed his hands together, unsure of where to start.

. . . . .

10 days ago

Mary sat in her apartment with Chris’, laughing at each other stupid jokes and chatting as they finished packing the last of their boxes.

“I feel guilty,” Mary said, suddenly as she put the folded shirt inside the box.

“Why?” Chris walked over to his glum girlfriend and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“It's just- when she’s fully conscious again, everything will have changed. Normally we would be giggling and gossiping as we packed together, but… now she's going to wake up, and I'll be gone.”

“You won’t be gone, sweetheart. You’ll be a short drive away. We both agreed; what happened at the library...” Chris and Mary stop to give each other sad looks. “We can't wait any longer. Who knows what will happen next in this ridiculous world we're in.”

Mary slowly nodded before taping up the last box. “But you have to let me take care of her when she gets out of the hospital.”

“Of course, my love.” Chris presses another kiss to Mary’s temple before picking up the stack of boxes.

The two spend the rest of the afternoon making trips up and down the stairs to place the items in Mary’s jeep. On their last trip, Josie, the landlord, had made a surprise visit.

“Oh, hi Josie, have you come to collect my keys?” Mary asks as she sets the box in her car.

“Oh, I forgot you were moving today. I guess I could collect those.” Mary turns around to look through her purse for the keys. “Is your neighbor-friend still in the hospital?”

Mary frowns and nods. ‘Yes, she'll be there for another few days… Why do you ask?” Mary turns around, suspicious of Josie’s intentions.

“I’m evicting her.” She says, emotionless.

“What?! You can't evict her!”

“Actually, I can. Rent was due yesterday, and nobody paid it.”

“Let me pay it then!” Mary could feel her blood boil. For years, Josie has been looking for an excuse to evict you. It wasn't your fault her husband was smitten with you. Of course, she would choose now- like the bitch she is- to evict you.”

“No. Paperwork has already been put in. I already have a new tenant, so I'll be throwing away her stuff tonight.” If Chris didn’t walk out of the apartment just now, Mary would have beaten Josie into the ground.

“What’s going on?”

“This asshole is evicting my best friend!” Mary yells as she points a finger at Josie’s smug face.

“Okay, how about she moves in with us then? We can take her stuff and keep it in the living room.” Mary sighs at how perfect her boyfriend is to offer such an act.

“Chris, your apartment is huge, but it only has one bedroom. It’s going to get weird over time.”

“Nonsense, I'll do anything to make you happy. Plus she's a delight to be around!” His smile makes her heart burst with love. “And if it becomes too much, we'll help her find a new apartment.”

Mary nods and turns to Josie. “Give me a few hours. I'll have her place cleaned out before midnight.” Mary storms back into the apartment building, making sure to bump into Josie before entering.

Chris and Mary spent the rest of the evening and into the night boxing up your stuff for the move. In between trips, Mary would stop to cry. It wasn’t fair. You don't have any power over what has been happening, and soon you’ll have to wreak the consequences that this shitty world has given you.

After Mary and Chris finished unpacking their boxes into their newly shared apartment, they returned to unload yours. One by one, they carried in heavy brown boxes with your name labeled on them.

One particularly heavy box started to slip out of Mary’s grasp but was quickly caught before I could hit the floor. “Oh! Thank yo… never mind.” Mary rolled her eyes when she saw Javier helping her on the other side.

Javier sighs; being on Mary’s bad side had been hell. Anytime they bumped into each other, she would give him passive-aggressive comments… or sometimes, just plain aggressive comments.

“What is this?” Javier notices your name written on the side of the box.

“It's none of your business, asshole.” Mary tries to walk into the apartment as fast as possible to shut Javier out but is rudely interrupted.

“It's her stuff. She got evicted, so we have to move her in with us.” Chris appears on the steps behind the two.

“Oh…” Javier drifts off into thought as Mary scolds Chris. “She can move in with me-“

‘Hell no! Are you insane? Are you ill? Why on this god-forsaken planet would I let that happen?”

“Because it's going to get cramped and uncomfortable for you two. Do you really think she would willingly want to move in with you guys?” Mary raises her finger to retort but is cut off by Javier. “She’s going to be uncomfortable the whole time and feel like an inconvenience. It’ll only add to her living hell. Yes, I know that her moving in with me… isn't the best choice, but I have space. I'll give her my room and sleep on the couch. Plus, I live right across the hall, so you can stop by and take care of her since you don’t trust me.”

“No!��� Mary refuses to give Javier the luxury of consideration.

“Actually,” Chris speaks up, causing Mary to look at him in shock and offense. “That's a pretty great idea.”

“Chris!”

“I’m serious! Nobody is really going to be satisfied with this arrangement, and I have no doubt Javier will take care of her.” Chris smiles in an attempt to be Javier’s wingman at Mary’s expense.

“I would rather her live with Sebastian than someone as vile as you!” Mary’s words cut deep, knowing what she’s yet to find out.

“That's a bit much, Babe.”

Mary groans and rolls her eyes in defeat. As much as she hates to admit it, they were right. Even though the situation isn't ideal, it would work better for everyone in the end. “Fine, whatever!” Mary squints her eyes at Javier and takes a few steps towards him “But if anything goes wrong, you're done. If the water is too cold or if pillows haven’t been fluffed, you're done. I don't care what it is, but if anything is not to my standards, I will happily kill you myself.” Javier hastily nods his head - Mary’s intimidation worked like a charm.

Instead of entering their apartment, Mary and Chris turn to walk to Javier’s. She hated walking into the sad, empty, pathetic apartment, but she knew this was probably the best option.

. . . . .

“Oh,” You pondered everything you missed while you were unconscious. Your eyes started to sting with the formation of tears.

“I'm sorry, Pri-” Javier cut himself off, then mentally scolded himself for his old habit. “How much do you remember?” He selfishly asked so that he could know where you two stood.

“Not much… Just a few things from the library, Mary and Chris visiting, and a few pointless things.” That was a lie. You remember more than that, but you didn't want him to know.

Javier hummed and slowly nodded his head. “I- I visited you… do you remember that?”

“You did? Oh, I'm sorry I don’t. Can you help refresh my memory?” A shadow of guilt fell upon you for not remembering such a crucial point in time.

Greedily, Javier shook his head at your request. He worried that he'd enable history to repeat its broken course if he did so. “Maybe another time.” There would be no “other time”.

“Well,” Javier snapped out of his depressed state and quickly changed the subject to his first purpose. “We start your new meds today, so take this. These won't make you sleep anymore. They're just antibiotics and pain meds.” Javier hands you a handful of pills along with a glass of water. You try to reach up and take it from him but hiss at the pain. “Oh, shit! I'm sorry! Let me.”

Javier scooted closer to you, making butterflies in your stomach involuntarily dance. What you didn't know was that the butterflies in Javier’s stomach were fluttering as well.” He did everything in his power to appear calm and collected, but the nerves seeped through and into his shaking, sweaty palms.

Your mouth opened to welcome the pills in. Javier then held the cool glass of water in one hand and held the back of your neck with the other. He carefully tilted your head before letting you take a sip to wash down the medicine. He sat and watched as you swallowed everything- your eyes never leaving each other. Your hearts beat rapidly against your chests, but they were beating in sync.

Time seemed to be moving slowly, but your mind was racing. After everything, after this hell you've been through; was it worth it? Could a life together ever be possible, or would he run away again? You've lost your home, your job, your love… is it worth risking more? Yet, you've already lost everything, so what's left to lose? Unfortunately, you didn't have much more time to decide. Kiss him, or leave him?

Javier’s hand on the back of your neck didn't move. His heart screamed at him, begging him to make a move. This was his chance… this was his second chance.

Your bodies start to move towards each other as if there were some sort of magnetic field doing it. The feel of his breath dancing across your skin gives you goosebumps. Javier leans his forehead against yours, watching the way your lips subconsciously readied themselves for his. The feel of his nose brushing oh so lightly against yours makes you want to weep. But your body had a completely new reaction when his lips brush over yours- intoxicating you with the familiar feeling of the Javier you fell so deeply in love for. Javier leaves the final move to you, but you don't do anything. The memory you keep from Javier plays in your mind, causing a tear to escape and slither down your cheek. Javier’s heart stops when he realizes you're not kissing him- but crying instead.

A knock at the front door interrupts the moment. “I-I’ll go get it.” Javier reluctantly pulls away and walks out of the room.

You feel like the wind has been knocked out of you as you attempt to breathe. You take the ends of your sleeves and wipe away any stray tears to help convince the outside world you were fine - even if you were really doing it to deceive yourself.

Javier opens the door and rolls his eyes.

“Don't you roll your eyes at me, Peña! You're already on thin ice!”

“You're late. I had to give her the medicine.” Mary’s eyes darken with anger at his sassy attitude. Even though Javier did the right thing, she still scavenged for a reason to be mad at him.

“Well… thanks for not letting her die... again.” Now, it was Javier’s turn to be upset. He hated that Mary blamed him for all of this. Maybe it could have been avoided, and maybe he had some blame for this. Yet, being known as the sole reason for your suffering took a toll on him. The worst part was that the more she said it, the more he believed it.

Mary’s eyes lit up when she saw you awake and well. “Chica!” Mary sprinted over to you, practically jumping on you for a hug.

“Ow!” You yelled, still not fully healed.

“Oh! I'm sorry! I just got excited!” She says with a guilty laugh.

“It’s okay. So… I heard you moved in with someone.” You smirk at your blushing best friend.

“Maybe…”

“Tell me everything!” And she did- for hours.

You and Mary spent the day talking about her and Chris’ new chapter of their lives. You expressed nothing but love and support, but deep down, buried under everything, a slight envy bubble. That should be me.

Eventually, Chris, Steve, and Connie came over to greet you. Connie had brought over a beautiful bouquet of flowers from the Busy Bee Florist, and Chris brought you your favorite sweets to nibble on.

It was difficult for Javier to watch the interaction, knowing you weren't his anymore. Watching you laugh and get along with his friends was just salt in the wound. Especially while you lay in his bed with his old DEA sweatshirt on. He wanted to prove to you how much he loved you, tell you how he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Yet, the world continues to mock and tease him. The games life continued to play with him only brought him to rock bottom and made him do what he considered to be the “absurd” act.

. . . . .

9 days ago

Javier sat at the bench outside of the hospital, examining every person that walked in and out. Since his encounter with Sebastian, three days ago, he was worried something may happen to you. The fear became a plague that made him incapable of doing normal everyday tasks. To combat this, Javier took night shifts at the hospital. Since Mary and Connie would spend all day with you, he knew you'd be safe with those fierce ladies around. He would sit there with his large cup of coffee in one hand as the other rested on his gun.

Around 1 am, Javier could feel a wave of hopelessness consume him. His mind attacked himself, telling him how you'll never love him again, how he'll never find love. Before his mind could drag him further into the pit of despair, he stood up and walked to the public landline next to the bench.

He inputted the number and waited, hoping they’d pick up. After five rings, Javier hears a groggy hello.

“Pop?”

“Mijo? What's wrong?” The tired, aged voice asked with concern.

“I fucked up, Pop. I-Im a failure.” Javier leaned his head against his arm that was propped up on the pole.

“Why do you think that? What happened?”

“I did the impossible… I- I found the one… and- and I lost her.” Javier closed his eyes and let the heartbreak fall down his face as he vented to his father. “I lost her, Dad.”

. . . . .

Javier sighed at the memory before pulling himself away from the corridor. He walked back into the kitchen and pulled out his bottle of whisky Steve bought him a few years back, pouring himself a more than generous amount.

“You're finally drinking it.”

“Might as well,” Javier said before taking a gulp. “Want some?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Steve took a seat at the island bar where Javier served him. “I'm sorry, man. I'm sure this is all tough on you.”

Javier shrugs as he takes another sip. “Not how I planned my life to go.”

“Can… I help with anything?”

“Other than killing Sebastian? No. I don't think there's anything you can do.”

Javier had told the other agents of what happened with Sebastian, but it came with a rule. The one rule he made very clear to them all was that nobody else was to know of this. Not you. Not Mary. Not Connie. Nobody. You've already been through so much trauma. Who knows what this information would do to you. That was a risk Javier was willing to take.

“We could get extra help, you know.” Javier looks at Steve, confused by his cryptic wording. That's when the lightbulb in Javier’s mind goes off. Steve laughs as Javier almost spills his drink, sprinting for the phone.

“For once, you're a genius!”

. . . . .

Night fell, and stomachs started to rumble. Steve ordered everyone a pizza to share, but due to your immobility, Connie graciously stayed with you while Mary took a much-needed break to socialize.

“Here you go, Hon.” Connie hands you the plate of food. You carefully eat it with the occasional help from Connie.

“How have your past two weeks been? Have I missed anything?” You ask curiously before attempting to eat.

Connie chuckles, “We've had quite the two weeks, actually.” Connie pauses to smile at herself before continuing. “Steve and I are adopting a little girl!”

“What! Ow!” Your burst of excitement causes sharp pain in your abdomen.

“Mmhmm! We're in the adoption process right now! She’s a toddler; lost her mother in the library bombing.” You and Connie go silent for a moment, thinking about the tragic day.

“I'm happy for you, Connie. You're going to be a fantastic mother.” You give her your best attempt at a smile. Connie notices your struggle and understands why it's difficult for you to show that much emotion right now.

At least some sort of joy was able to spark from tragedy. It was tough to see others live your fantasies, though. Connie and Steve had such a beautiful life. They both had jobs, a happy marriage, a beautiful home, and soon, a daughter. When you were with Seb, you used to think you'd have all that by now, but here you are- suffering at rock bottom. Then there were the times you were stupid enough to believe Javier Peña himself would be willing to have a life with you, but you know, deep down, that would never be a possibility.

After dinner people started going home. Each friend made sure to stop and give you their condolences before leaving. It was sweet, but also it made you feel weak and broken. You twiddled with the DEA sweatshirt as you tried to pull yourself away from your negative thoughts when a figure in the doorway distracted you.

“Oh! Javi, hi.”

“H-hi. I was going to get ready for bed. Wanted to check if you need anything?” His heart clenched at the beautiful- practically perfect- sight in front of him. The only thing wrong with the picture was that he wasn't sleeping beside you tonight.

You shyly shook your head, still feeling the awkward tension from this morning’s interaction.

“Alright, goodnight.” Javier gave you a sad weak smile.

“Goodnight.” You watched as Javier turned off the light and shut the door. “Javi!” The door swung open in a panic.

“Are you okay?”

“C-Could you...” Stay with me forever “tuck me in?”

Javier nodded and walked over to you. He leaned over to turn on the lamp beside you to illuminate the room with a golden glow. Then, he proceeded to gently lift your head to fluff your pillow- cradling the back of your head as if it were porcelain. You watched him intently as Javier tried to ignore the pressure your stare was creating. He wanted to return the look and stare back into your eyes, but he knew if he did, he’d never be able to look away again.

Once the pillows were up to the required standards to secure your head, Javier continued on. He made his way to the pile of blankets located at the end of the bed, carefully chose the softest ones. They were laid on you to create a burrito of warmth and comfort. You let out a moan at the foreign feeling of this much coziness - snuggling yourself deeper into the heavenly bed. Javier couldn't help but smile at the adorable grin you make when you're cozy. The last time you had made this signature grin was when you were holding each other in bed.

“Can I help you with anything else?” Javier prayed you'd say yes; give him another opportunity to linger by your side.

You spent a moment pondering your options. It would be easy to say yes and selfishly keep him nearby, but would that mean you were giving in and beckoning more heartbreak? To avoid any further collateral, you shook your head. It was silly, though. Your desperate attempt to avoid pain only made things worse, but you'd never see it that way.

The anticipation of your answer got Javier’s heart to beat faster, but the shake of your head made it drop. He tried to find ways to justify everything, telling himself it was for the best or trying to convince himself he was much too tired to possibly stay up with you.

“I'll be right outside the door, so call me if you need anything- anything at all.”

You nod your head again, still feeling too shy to have a proper conversation with Javier. Can you blame yourself, though? You were living with your ex-boyfriend, sleeping in his bed, with his clothes on, as he took care of you.

Javier leaned over and reluctantly turned off the lamp- not wanting to lose you to the dark of the night. The light turned off, causing everything to disappear, leaving the rays of the moonlight to illuminate each other's faces through the cracks of the curtains.

Suddenly, you felt the tips of Javier’s finger brush your cheek. You look into his moonlit eyes with the grief of your lost love. Javier slowly closes his eyes and leans forward, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. The faint touch sends a shiver through your body, igniting sparks to take flight. You wish the moment would last forever, but it is quickly over.

“Goodnight, Princess,” Javier says, just below a whisper. Just like that, he was gone.

Chapter 21

A/N: let me know if u want to be added or removed from the Taglist🤍

Series Taglist: @lordabovehelpme @agingerindenial @radiowallet @otherthingsinhead @obsessivelysearching @busycryin @peterparkerporker @startrekkingaroundasgard @beskarboobs @what-iwish-you-knew @616wilsons @diogodxlot @noshame-bb @hnt-escape @sambucky21 @kirsteng42 @1800-fight-me @shion-ah @heythere-mel @antisocialthat70sshow @pintsizemama @marydjarin @librariantothejedi @mamacitapascal

[hallowxiu]

Leviathan’s Valentine

pairing: leviathan x gn!mc

word count: 1.8k

summary: It's Leviathan's turn for your Valentine Gift, but sudden self-doubt makes things a little complicated for you.

a/n: part two of the valentine’s series

part one

“I heard your gift with Mammon was a hit.” You look up from your desk to see Asmodeus leaning against your doorframe. “He keeps walking around with the plush you made him. He won’t stop bragging about it, either.” There was amusement on his features, though he sounded slightly agitated as well. “It’s kind of fun to watch, although Leviathan almost summoned Lotan he got so jealous. I almost broke out in the process.” 

“What? Really?” You turn yourself around completely so that you’re facing him. 

“Yes, I almost broke out. It is shocking to think about; I understand.” 

“Geez, Lucifer’s going to ban Valentine’s Day gifts at this point.” To think he could ban it so early, and before you even passed out the second gift. “They’re too much sometimes.” You sigh and slouch into your chair. “I told Leviathan I was making him a gift as well, you know.” 

“Did you even hear me?” 

“Yes, Levi almost summoned Lotan. I hope Lucifer wasn’t too mad.”

“My love, you’re missing the important part here.” 

“Well, I should get back to work, Asmo. Levi might become angry again if I waste too much time.” You get back to sewing together the plush for Leviathan, listening as Asmodeus exits your bedroom with a quiet huff. It’s been almost two days since you gave Mammon his stuffed cat. You didn’t mean to take so long with Leviathan’s gift, but you wanted it to be perfect. You knew that Leviathan could be a bit of a critic when it came to plushies, and it didn’t help that you had started over three times in the last thirty-five hours. It felt like you were messing up the little things, and if they kept adding up then his gift would look horrible. 

You run a hand over your face and look back down at the half-made plush. The bright orange fabric was driving you insane. If you had to look at it for much longer, you might end up gauging your eyes out. “Why was Mammon’s so easy to make?” You whine into your hands. “And why is Levi’s so hard?” Besides starting over so many times, you had also changed his gift a few times as well. Originally you wanted to design some sort of Ruri-chan doll for him, but you quickly discovered that was a little too… complicated for you. You also realized that creating a Ruri-chan plush left absolutely no room for error, and you didn’t feel like having Leviathan roast you for the rest of your life. The second idea was to design one of the TSL characters, but for the same reason as Ruri-chan, you quickly ditched that idea. 

You briefly considered ditching the plush idea altogether and getting him something else. However, you didn’t even know where to start looking. Leviathan had almost every Ruri-chan collectible in existence, and if he didn’t, you couldn’t afford it. You thought about picking up some manga series in the human realm for him, but then you considered that might be too predictable for him. After all, you wanted something unique for him. In all honesty, the more you thought about it, the more terrified you were when it came to getting gifts for the brothers. They all had high standards, and you weren’t sure you could reach them. However, now that you already gave Mammon something, word would spread (mostly due to Mammon’s big mouth) and the others would soon expect something as well. You could already imagine all the fights that would break out between them if you started and stopped with him. 

“I should have stuck with cards and candy.” You rub at your temples in frustration. “Now everyone’s going to expect these amazing presents.” 

With an annoyed huff, you back your chair away from your desk. You were unhappy, and most of all embarrassed. Embarrassed for the gift that you haven’t even given to Leviathan yet. That didn’t matter though, because your mind kept replaying images of Leviathan laughing at the plush you made him. It made a lump in your throat form, and your eyes blurred with unshed tears. It was silly, and maybe you were tired from working on this for the last two days straight, but you were upset. You were more than upset; you were disappointed with yourself on how this was coming out. Although you had finished his gift only an hour or two ago, you were still unhappy with it. 

To you, there was nothing cute about it. It was something that laid on your desk, taunting you. You let out an annoyed groan and threw yourself onto your bed. “I should stop putting this off.” You force yourself to sit up, glancing back over at the plush on your desk. “I’ll just apologize to him for how it came out. If he doesn’t like it I can offer to make him another one.” With a final sigh, you push yourself off the bed, grab the plush, and head out the door. 

Unlike with Mammon, you couldn’t have Leviathan open the door fast enough. You’re knocking on the wood as soon as you’re in front of his door, just wanting to get this over with. It would be humiliating, but you could get past this. You could make him another plush if he hated it that much, or you could just buy him something he asks for. Still, wanting at least some element of surprise, you hide the gift behind your back. There’s an anxious smile plastered on your face when the door opens. While normally Leviathan would push you for a password, you figured he was too excited for his gift to press such things today. 

“I was hoping to see you.” He can barely contain his excitement as he addresses you and lets you in. You follow in behind him quietly, rocking on the heels of your feet as he turns to face you once his door is closed. “I’m glad you came. Mammon was starting to drive me a little crazy and you’re always a good distraction.” 

“Haha, yeah… about that.” 

Leviathan looks at you with a confused expression when noting your increasing anxiety. “What’s wrong? Am I making you uncomfortable?” He pulls at the sleeves of his jacket, a timid look on his face. “I always thought this day might come, but I didn’t think it’d come so soon.” 

“What? No, no you aren’t making me uncomfortable, Levi.” It seems to barely convince him, though you see some tension leave his body. Now if only you could do the same. “I just,” you inhale sharply, “I brought you your Valentine’s gift.” You see him light up in excitement, his cheeks glowing red as he happily shifts in his spot in front of you. 

“You really got me a gift? I’m not going to lie, I always thought Valentine’s Day was a stupid holiday humans celebrated, but when you told me you wanted to get me something, I thought maybe it wasn’t that bad after all. Usually, no one wants to spend a holiday like that with a stupid otaku like me.” 

“You’re not,” your breath hitches and you can feel your eyes water again, “I don’t think--” Crap. You wanted this to be a good holiday for him, but how could he enjoy it when you couldn’t even make him a proper gift? You shouldn’t have told him in advance that you’d make him something. His hopes were up and you were only going to cut them down. You hear Leviathan call out to you, his voice full of concern. It’s at that moment that you realize warm tears are streaming down your cheeks. 

“Are you crying?” Leviathan’s on you in seconds as he tries to assess the situation. “Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? I didn’t mean to make you upset.” He’s frantically wiping your tears away with shaking hands. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. Please don’t be upset with me. I promise I won’t do it again.” You needed to pull yourself together before you caused the demon to have a panic attack. The last thing you wanted was for him to think he did something to you.

“You didn’t do anything.” You let him wipe the tears from your cheeks, his thumbs caressing the skin as he gazes down at you. “I just-- I just don’t want to ruin Valentine’s Day for you.” Your lip trembles as you speak and Leviathan’s concerned expression is replaced with one of confusion. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Y-Your gift.” You answer weakly and more tears threaten to spill. 

“What’s wrong with it?” 

“I just-- I couldn’t-- here.” You decide it would be better for him to see himself instead of listening to you fumble and trip over your words. You reveal the plush to Leviathan, handing it to the blue-haired demon. He slowly takes it from you, gazing at it curiously and glancing over at you. 

“I don’t understand.” He finally says. You feel your heart sink in your chest.

“It’s supposed to be--”

“No, I know what it is.” There’s a smile on his lips as he brings the plush to his chest, hugging it tightly. “It’s my goldfish, Henry. I think he came out beautifully. Why are you so upset over it? It looks just like him.” There’s a pink tint to his cheeks as he looks at you. “I’ve always wanted a plush of him.” You stare at him in shock, unable to form a sentence. “I love it, and I’m sure Henry will too.” 

“You like it?” You’re staring at him with wide and watery eyes. The possibility of Leviathan liking your gift never even occurred to you. “You don’t think it’s ugly?” 

“Ugly? Why would I think it’s ugly? You made this for me, and you made it after something that I hold close to my heart.” He shyly looks away from you as he grips the plushie tighter. “I would cherish anything you gave me. You spent time on this for me and me alone. That within itself is a precious gift to me.” His face is growing red again as he continues. “No one’s ever spent so much time on someone like me before. It’s hard to wrap my head around sometimes, but it makes me really happy.” He glances over at you once again. “Please don’t cry because of me. Seeing you so upset makes me upset too.” You feel your heart flutter at his words and you shyly glance down at your feet. “Thank you. This is the best Valentine’s Day I could have ever asked for.”

[buckyownsmylife]

Catch me - Tom Hardy smut

The one where you’re Tom’s neighbor and he comes to your place after he’s locked out of his house on a rainy night. Requested by anon. + Dry Humping also requested by different anon ask

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, cursing

A/N: okay, so here it is! My Tom Hardy requested smut! I’d also like to announce that I’ll be attempting to partake in this years’ Kinktober, and this is my first fic, fulfilling the prompts dry humping + face sitting. I’ll post the list of prompts I created for myself, along with the characters they are paired up with, a bit later. I also say “attempting” because I actually had a pretty bad accident last night and I’m still unable to do regular things like sitting or walking, so it’s been a struggle to get this done. If in anyday I am unable to write, I won’t force myself to do it. But that’s all, please enjoy this fic and let me know what you think of it! My requests are now empty, so feel free to send me any ideas you might have - I can either integrate them in one of my fics for the kinktober challenge or work on them in November.

Tom’s P.O.V.

I had watched with only partly concealed interest as the new neighbor slowly grew more comfortable at her place right next door to me. At first, it truly was just a slight curiosity founded in my observation of just how beautiful she was. But then, one day, right after she moved in, she caught me staring, and opened up the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen. Just like that, I was stuck with a teenage-boy crush that left me blushing and stuttering every single time she so much as looked my way. 

If there was one thing people knew about me, was that I was not the blushing, stuttering type.

But things only got worse as time went on. She turned out to be just the perfect neighbor, usually coming around to offer me cookies or other baked goods precisely when I needed it the most.

“How do you always know when I’m feeling down or hungry, sweetheart?” I even ended up asking as I accepted yet another tray of brownies from her tiny hands. Her sweet little giggle went straight to my pants, instantly hardening my severely ignored member.

“It’s not that hard to figure out, Tom. Anytime you get back home this late, I can pretty much assume you barely had anything to eat all day, and it’s very clear you won’t have the energy to whip up anything right now.” My eyebrows raised up at her comment, but before I could satiate my curiosity, she quickly added, “And before you ask, no, I don’t spend my life looking out of the eyehole, you just have pretty loud steps when you’re tired, I can easily hear from my living room when you walk the hallway during the evening.”

Chuckling, I nodded, granting her that. I knew that she meant no harm, but I couldn’t help but to feel embarrassed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ll try to be more mindful next time.” Her eyes widened at my apology, and she immediately waved my words away, clearly mortified by the fact that I had interpreted it as a complaint.

“Gosh, Tom, no, that’s not what I… Please, don’t worry about it. I’m just a terrible insomniac, and I have good ears. It’s not like you’re waking me up every time you come home or anything. That would be a bummer, but also highly improbable, since I’m a very heavy sleeper…” I had come to understand that she was very capable of maintaining a conversation completely by herself, but everytime she took notice of it, she scrambled to get out of my sight. I figured someone in her life must have told her she talked too much, but personally, I’d do anything to witness her little monologues at least a bit more. She just seemed so interesting, and selfless despite the constant stream of consciousness that poured out of her lips whenever she was nervous.

I liked knowing I made her nervous. It made me feel less terrible about wanting to know more about her. Did that make me a creep? Hell, probably. But I couldn’t pretend like I gave a damn. I felt this inexplicable attraction to her, her personality and body, and that was it. I wanted to uncover what it was about her that had me so engrossed.

And one night, the opportunity presented itself to me. I had gone out of my car in a hurry because of the rain that had decided to pour all over the city and didn’t look like it was stopping any time soon, so I only noticed that I had locked my keys on the trunk of the car when I was already in front of my own apartment’s door, dripping all over the hallway. 

Fuck, that was just so typical of me. Why did I even bother to get my backpack out of the car, when I was already arriving home close to midnight and would be back at work early in the morning? It wasn’t like I would have the time to use my computer or anything. 

Sighing, I ran a wet hand over my face in an effort to figure out my next move. Obviously I would need to get someone to open my car for me, but in the middle of the night, it’d be hard to know who would come. It would definitely be easier to find someone in the morning, and I could very well get an Uber to some cheap motel and spend the night there. 

I was about to do just that when suddenly the door behind me opened, and a delicious smell of lasagna filled my nostrils, making me aware of just how hungry I was. “Tom?” Her sweet, sweet voice instantly calmed my tense muscles, making me open a smile at the sight of her despite the series of events I had just lived through. “Is something wrong?” 

A low chuckle escaped my lips at the awareness of just how pathetic my situation was, but there was no real humour in my tone. I looked down at my wet shoes before gathering the courage to look her in the eye again, giving her a small smile. “I locked myself out,” was all I said, and before I could even further explain my situation, her eyes had widened and she was reaching out to me, holding me by my wrist and pulling me inside of her place. 

“You poor thing. And right on the worst night for it to happen? Here, sit down while I go look for something you can change into. Wouldn’t want you catching a cold, would we?” I briefly considered offering some kind of protest, explaining how I intended to go spend the night in a motel, but the truth was, I didn’t want to. It was late, I was tired and I was really fucking cold and just by being in the close proximity of this beautiful creature, I already felt a little bit better, so I’d just shut up and wait to see how this would play out for me. 

She came back with some sweatpants and a large cotton shirt, a bashful look on her face. “I bought these sweatpants from the male’s department because they’re usually comfier than the ones I find in the female department, they should fit you well.” I accepted the small bundle of fabric she offered, one eyebrow raised as I stared down at her in curiosity.

“What about the shirt?” I asked, and she blushed five different shades of pinks and reds, making her just that much cuter. It made me want to eat her whole, and the fact that she stood a few good feet under me didn’t help that at all. I knew I could break her so easily.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I felt like I could slap myself over how silly I was behaving over something so ordinary. Why would Tom care about me having an ex? It was only natural, it’s not like I was a blushing virgin nun who never did anything slightly out of the ordinary. Sex was ordinary. I’ve done it before. I’m sure Tom wouldn’t assume I hadn’t.

Oh, what am I saying? There’s no way he has even considered this subject when it comes to me. Why on Earth would he be thinking about my sexual past? What is going on with me? I feel like I’m going insane. 

I could feel just how warm my face had gotten, but I still had some amount of pride in me to salvage the situation, so I managed to roll my eyes as I pushed Tom further inside my house, in the direction of my bathroom.

“You’re a smart man, you can figure out where the shirt came from.” His chuckle shouldn’t be so sexy, but what about this man wasn’t?

“That’s not the answer I hoped for.” And with that mysterious sentence, he locked himself in my bathroom and left me alone with my thoughts. Granted, most of them revolved around him, so I couldn’t really say I was that alone, but the lack of someone to talk to only meant that my mind was swirling and a lot of different things I shouldn’t be thinking about managed to dominate my head. 

Just what did he mean by what he said? Could it be that he… No, of course not. There was no reason for him to be jealous of me. It’s not like he could possibly want me. Right?

I spent the entire time he was taking a shower stuck in the same pattern of thoughts, so much so that I didn’t even notice he had come back to the kitchen and was watching me from the doorway until he cleared his throat, making me jump out of my skin while carrying a plate full of very hot lasagna.

“Oh,” was all I said as I felt some of the sauce spill on my hand and my chest, some even managing to get on my face. But Tom’s rough ‘Shit’ brought a giggle to my lips, despite the discomfort of the slight burning sensation on my skin. 

“‘M sorry, sweetheart. I thought you’d noticed me standing here.” While he assured me of his lack of intention to hurt me - as if I didn’t already know- he had grabbed the plate I was still holding onto and placed it on the counter, quickly procuring an already dirty rag and eagerly starting to clean me up, first my hand, and then…

Before he pressed the fabric to my chest, he looked up at me, his beautiful eyes catching mine and making me suck in a breath. “T-that’s alright,” I managed to get out, trying to look away from his hypnotizing gaze. “It doesn’t really hurt that bad. I think with a bit of cold water it might calm down.”

He nodded, agreeing with my words, but his gaze still searched mine for something I didn’t understand. “I sure hope so,” was all he said initially, his eyes finally dropping from mine to focus on the task at hand. “But I must say, I’m very disappointed.”

The comment puzzled me, rendering me useless for the time being. I could only tilt my head as I looked down at him, still crouching in front of me to clean my chest before he finally stood up on his full height and grabbed my face, gently engulfing it in one of those huge palms of his.

“I was really hoping that you were single, but I guess that would be expecting too much from the universe, considering how beautiful you are.” My eyes grew twice their normal size as I immediately tried to push him away and hide my face from his view, suddenly incredibly shy. But of course, he didn’t let me, instead pressing me against the counter and his very hard body, while he very carefully wiped away the few drops of sauce on my cheek.

For a few seconds, I let him work in silence, still trying to gather my nerves so I could say something. I should say something, shouldn’t I? I mean, here lies an opportunity that I never thought I’d experience, and here I was, being all silly about it. Finally, when he had at last finished slowly rubbing the rag against my skin, and seemed to be about to separate himself from me, I sprung into action, pulling him to me again by his forearms. 

“I-I am,” that’s all I managed to say, immediately cringing at my own lack of social skills. “Single, I mean.” Very smooth. Well done, Y/N. But despite my stupidity, it seemed that I was able to achieve my intention, since my sentence made Tom finally get rid of the rag and hold my face between both of his hands now, his thumbs softly running over my cheekbones.

“Oh, is that so?” He breathed out against my skin, our lips inches away from one another, and I shivered against my best wishes. That reaction caused a predatory smirk to appear on his face, and I knew then and there that I was in way over my head. “Good to know,” he whispered, and then his lips were on mine, forcing me to accept his tongue, eating me whole. 

He tasted like peppermint and coffee and I was already addicted to his taste, hoping to God I tasted as great to him as he did to me. At least, he didn’t complain. In fact, by the way he sucked on my tongue, forcing his deep inside my mouth, I’d go as far as to say that he did like what he tasted. 

Before long, he had pulled me up on the counter, his hands holding me by my waist as his lips ventured from my mouth to my jaw, until they found a spot on my neck that made me gasp and hold his shirt tightly, and then he was sucking, rolling his tongue on the spot where I could already feel a bruise forming, before his teeth carved their own impressions on my skin, imprinting himself on me.

My head swirled with the force of the emotions bursting through me. My legs wrapped themselves around his strong body, and I was happy that my hands knew what to do when my mind hadn’t still managed to catch up to this turn of events. When his tongue came out to lick right over my collarbones, the response gasp he elicited from me came out sounding much more like a sob than anything else.

“You’re so sensitive, princess,” He teased me, still otherwise occupied with marking my skin as his. “I’ve barely even started and here you are…” His hands ran through the expanse of my body, like he was showing his proof to an audience. “... a mess already.”

He wasn’t wrong. I was somehow dripping already. I could feel it, dripping from inside of me, slowly ruining the panties I was wearing. They were so not appropriate for the activities I was currently partaking in, but how the hell would I have known this was going to happen?

All I knew was that Tom had lit the fire inside of me, and now the flames were threatening to swallow us both.

Tom’s P.O.V.

She was just too cute, so out of breath and trembling with desire with the little I’d done to tease her. It just made me want to ruin her even more. My little neighbor, so perfect and sweet, so needy for me.

She didn’t even realize she had started to grind herself against me, in search of some sort of release. Well, I wasn’t about to cut her off. Unstead, I took advantage of my grip on her, pulling her body until I was the one keeping her up, trapped between my body and the counter.

“Rub your tiny wet cut against my jeans, love,” I ordered in a demanding whisper right on her ear, making her shiver. She obeyed without any sort of hesitation, looking up at me underneath her eyelashes with her eyes glazed over with lust. “That’s it…” Fuck if the pressure wasn’t exactly what I needed to help ease up some of the tension from the need I was feeling in my veins. “Rub yourself against my hard cock, don’t be shy.”

My words seemed to be gasoline for her, giving her the push she needed to grind herself even harder against my bulge. I decided to help her, pushing her more firmly against the counter and following the movements, rejoicing in the pleasure gasp that escaped her lips as the added pressure provided more friction to her clit.

“Fuck…” She whispered, and I think that in the entirety of the four months of conversations I’d entertained with her, that was the first time I’d heard her cuss. The four letter word I was so familiarized with had a new, unexpected effect on me, making the situation inside my pants so difficult I had to stop my movements and slow hers down by her hips, so I wouldn’t just jizz on my pants like a fucking teenager. 

But Y/N didn’t stop, despite accepting my silent request to decrease the fervor of our activities. When I finally managed to get control over myself again, I realized why. She had gripped the counter behind her and was using it to better control her movements, and it was clear by the way her head hung back and her mouth fell open that she was about to cum just like that.

“Shit,” I cussed just as the realization hit, and it felt like all of the control I’d managed to build in the last few seconds I closed my eyes had suddenly escaped through the window. My cock was painfully hard again, and all I could think of was that I needed to get out of these fucking jeans.

Who could blame me, though? When she looked like that, creaming her panties with her clothes still on? Shit, I couldn’t wait to get her naked and underneath me. I needed to feel her from the inside, explore her wetness with my hard cock.

But first, I was desperate to get a taste of her. So as soon as her breathing came back to a somewhat regular pattern, I was careful to put her on the ground again, making sure she was able to stand on her own legs, before dropping to my knees in front of her.

“What are you… Oh.” I couldn’t help but to chuckle at the innocence of her mind that stopped her from immediately understanding what I intended to do, but then I was pushing her skirt up and away from my view and her panties were in front of me and they were drenched, absolutely ruined by the sticky liquid that made my mouth water. 

“Fuck, princess…” I moaned as I carefully peeled the cotton fabric down her legs, keeping it pooled around her ankles as I pushed her legs open as far as they could go. She was dripping, a single line of her wetness connecting both of her thighs, making me groan at the sight. “You might just kill me…” I commented before reaching up to pull her to me, effectively burying my face on her.

“T-Tom!” The sound of my name escaping her lips with that reverent tone left me even hungrier for her, as did her exquisite taste. It painted my tongue with its sweetness, embedding itself in my cells, making sure I’d never be able to forget it. I already knew I’d be hungry for her again the second I pulled away from her cunt.

Nonetheless, I forced myself to stop for a moment to gather my senses, as her taste made it harder and harder to control my need to relieve my aching member. I needed to be inside of her, and quickly. 

Abruptly rising up to my full height, I picked her up by the back of her thighs so she’d wrap her legs around me and took us to where I’d assumed her bedroom would be, considering I was familiarized with the general layout of the apartments. The second I laid her on the bed, my hands were struggling with my own belt, as I watched her pull her dress over her head, now completely bare before me.

“You’re so fucking hot.” When my pants dropped to the floor and my cock slapped my lower stomach, I pounced on her immediately, crawling on the space between her legs and pulled her by the back of her neck to connect our lips once more. “Do you want to be railed tonight, pretty neighbor?”

She fucking whimpered in response, repetitions of “yes” and “please” escaping her lips as she tried to pull me closer to her by the legs she embraced me with. Not having it in me to stop this moment any longer, I gripped my member with one of my hands while I held her hips down with the other, briefly rubbing the blunt head of my cock over her sensitive clit before pushing myself completely inside of her.

“Oh, fuck,” I groaned, blindsided by the tightness, wetness and warmness that now surrounded me. “I knew your cunt would be fucking delicious.” I watched her as I pulled out until just my tip was inside of her, only to push it back in as forcefully as I could.

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, her hands flew up to hold my shoulders, almost as if she wanted to push me away or tell me to take it easy, but as her legs continued to pull me even deeper inside, I knew what she really needed was to be properly fucked.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Tom was not exaggerating; he really did pound me against my mattress, immediately setting up the most brutal of paces. It hurt, especially with how much he was stretching me, but it felt too fucking good to complain about it.

The only thing I could do was to relax and accept this invasion, this possession of my body by my next-door neighbor. I knew I must have been quite a vision, my arms thrown up in search of something to hold on to, spit escaping the corner of my lips by the intensity of the thrusts, my breasts shaking as he pulled me back to meet his thrusts by my hips. I hoped I’d have some bruises on the shape of his fingertips to remember this night.

Not like I would ever be able to forget, anyway. Only a lunatic would expel the visions of Tom looking like this while fucking them, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, the sweat gathering over his eyebrows. I wanted to kiss it away. I wanted to taste its saltiness. 

Just as my head began to twirl in time with the growth of arousal in my lower belly, Tom’s eyes travelled upwards from the point where his cock was buried inside of me to find my breasts, one of his hands immediately following suit. When his pull on my nipple was accompanied by the feeling of his warm mouth engulfing the other one, I screamed as I came all around him, my head thrown back and eyes closed as I relished in the feeling of being so perfectly filled, so perfectly touched.

“Fuckin’ tight.” Tom fucked me through my orgasm, but at the sight of my eyes blinking back open, he pulled out, easily manhandling me into turning around and rising on all fours. “This fucking ass… Do you have any idea how long I dreamt about fucking you like this?”

I didn’t know how, but his words and the way his huge hands sprawled over the cheeks of my butt reignited the flames that had just been fed, and I found myself pushing back against him, offering myself up to him. Anything to get his cock inside of me again.

“Please…” I all but begged, and I heard his breath hitching behind me. “Just… please keep fucking me.” Perhaps that was all that he needed, because in a second his cock was tearing me open again, so fucking deep that I could feel it in my stomach. 

“Fuck… If I had known how it would look to have my little perfect neighbor begging for my cock, I would have fucked you ages ago.” Every single thing that came out of that man’s mouth was like sin. He wrapped my hair around his fist, suddenly using it to pull me back to him as he raised one of his legs to the mattress, the new angle making each of his thrusts hit that spot inside of me that made everything just a little more satisfying. 

I could feel tears running down my cheeks, falling on my spread out hands as I struggled to keep breathing through his assault on my senses. “Are you gonna cum again, love?” I could hear him asking, and I wanted to answer, I really did, but every time I opened my mouth, only sobs came out. “Are you? Here, let me help you out.”

The feeling of his rough fingers softly caressing my clit was such a stark contrast to the way he was still brutally pounding into me that instead of trying to push him away from my much too sensitive lower region, I opened my eyes in surprise as another orgasm took over me, somehow even stronger than the previous ones.

“Yeah, that’s it… Fuck. Come for me, sweetheart. Wanna feel your cunt milking my fucking cock.” His words did nothing to help ease my arousal, and just when my arms started to give out, I felt him spilling inside of me. “FUCK!” He shouted, following my body’s motions until he was covering me with his own torso, still very much inside of me.

His thrusts finally coming to a stop after he had slowly fucked his cum inside of me, I felt his thumbs caressing my hips as I remained face planted on my mattress. “Well, this isn’t how I expected this night to go, but I can’t say I’m not satisfied.”

A snort was all I could give him as he finally pulled out and allowed his body to fall by my side, giving me a quick kiss on the shoulder that was closer to him. “You ok?” He asked, and I snorted again.

“More than okay. You still haven’t eaten though.” It was the truth. After all of this… incredible distraction from my cooking plans, he still hadn’t gotten around to eat dinner. I heard him take a deep breath next to me as he pondered his answer. 

“Really? ‘Cause I remember eating some very delicious pussy a few minutes ago.” It took me a few minutes to process what he had said, but when I did, I turned around to playfully hit his chest while feeling my face warm up from the reality of what we had just done.

“You’re impossible.”

“And you’re hot.” And when he put it in such simple terms, as he pulled me in his arms so that I could cuddle his chest, how could I feel embarrassed?

[plaidbooks]

Guardian Angel

A/N: Hey y’all! This has been an idea for weeks (just ask @witches-unruly-heart​) and I finally wrote it! It’s Sonny Carisi x reader, and is just a short little thing. This is also the first time I mostly stay in Sonny’s pov rather than reader’s.

Tags: mentions of insomnia/medication, fire, smoke inhalation, mentions of death/dying, spiritualism and talks for angels/guardian angels

Words: 1651

Taglist: @beccabarba​ @thatesqcrush​ @itsjustmyfantasyroom​ @permanentlydizzy​  @ben-c-group-therapy​ @infiniteoddball​ @glowingmess​ @whimsicallymad​ @lv7867​  @storiesofsvu​ @cycat4077​ @alwaysachorusgirl​ @glimmerglittergirl​ @joanofarkansass​  @redlipstickandplaid​  @reading--mermaid​ @averyhotchner​ @mrsrafaelbarba​ @detective-giggles​ @crowleysqueenofhell​ @dreamlover31​

Sonny yawned, his eyelids drooping. It had been a hellish time the past month or two, and Sonny’s insomnia had been keeping him up most nights, even with medication. Nothing seemed to be able to help him sleep; he normally just passed out somewhere in the middle of the night, then jolt awake when his alarm went off.

It was already getting late in the day, but because of his exhaustion, Sonny was behind on paperwork. It had been like he was working in slow motion, his brain not able to focus. He didn’t think he could stay super late but was trying to at least finish the motion he was writing. He let out another yawn, then blinked a couple of times, trying to shake the sleep away.

 ****************************

Sonny awoke coughing. He was slouched over his desk, and his throat was burning. He blinked his eyes open, shocked to find his vision obscured by heavy smoke, his eyes instantly tearing up. The fire alarm was muffled outside his office door, and Sonny’s exhausted mind put the pieces together; the building was on fire. He rolled out of his chair and onto the floor, hoping to find less smoke there. But he already felt so weak; how long had he been breathing in smoke? With how much his throat—and lungs—burned, he figured for a while.

He crawled towards his door, remembering what he learned in grade school. Taking off his jacket, he wrapped it around the doorknob, and tried to open it. But it was futile, and his strength was failing him. In a last-ditch effort to be of some use, he moved out of the way of the door, hoping that his body wouldn’t be blocking it when the firefighters found him. He knew they would; you were a firefighter. His last conscious thoughts were about you, and the ring he was going to propose to you with…if he survived.

 **************************

Sonny woke up, but kept his eyes closed—even so, he felt the tears streaming down his face. There was someone touching him, feeling for a pulse at his neck. But his throat hurt so bad, and he couldn’t draw in a fresh breath. It was like he was drowning, but instead of water filling his lungs, it was smoke. He blinked his eyes open, and found a dark figure leaning over him. They were silhouetted with light, and Sonny figured that it was an angel coming to take him to the next life. That was the only explanation—after this long without oxygen, there was no way he lived. For a moment, he was struck with a terrible sadness; he never got to say goodbye to you, the love of his life. Surely, you would be heartbroken over losing him, and he felt guilty for dying in such a stupid way. But as the angel scooped him into their arms, he was filled with a sense of love and peace, ready to let this wonderful being bring him to an even better place—a place with no pain, no stress.

The angel touched their own face before reaching down and touching his, and suddenly, Sonny could breathe again. His throat and lungs burned, but he knew that once he left his body, all his pain and fear would leave him. He closed his eyes against the smoke, letting the angel shepherd his body to Heaven. With his last remaining strength, he thought about you, willing you to accept his death and to move on, find love again. He swore he could feel a part of his spirit resonate with yours, and he knew you’d be okay without him.

***

It was completely against protocol, but you couldn’t find it in you to care, not when you found Sonny passed out on the floor in his office. Once you found a pulse and lifted him, you took off your oxygen mask and strapped it to his face.

You carried him back out of his office, heading for the stairs—he was on the eighth floor, and this was going to take all your strength. You had radioed down when you found your boyfriend, and you knew more firefighters were coming to help you carry him out. As expected, on the fifth-floor landing, your team appeared. You were panting, your throat burning from the smoke, and you were insanely thankful for the help.

“Where’s your mask?” one of them—Jones—yelled over the blaze.

“On the civ; he was barely breathing,” you called back. He nodded before taking Sonny’s legs—his face had to stay near you since he was connected to the oxygen tank—and helping you carry him down and out.

Once outside, you quickly found a gurney, laying Sonny on it. You took the oxygen mask off him, letting the medics slip their own on his face. His eyelids fluttered, and you made out his glassy pupils, blearily looking at you. He gave you a small smile.

“Th-thank you,” he muttered, voice raw. You could feel your heart straining, and then he was unconscious again, the medics wheeling him away. As you watched him go, you let out a rough cough, hacking out the smoke you inhaled while carrying Sonny.

“Go get checked by the medics,” Jones ordered. You were about to argue when you started a coughing fit again. “Go!”

Huffing, you went to the back of an ambulance.

***

Sonny woke up on a soft bed, his lungs and throat still burning. The hospital lights were bright, and he squinted against them. The same figure from before was leaning over him, and Sonny was confused. How could he be in so much pain if his angel was right there next to him? The room was a blinding white, and his first thought was that it was Heaven. But as his eyes focused, he saw that it was just a normal hospital room. Turning to look at his angel, his vision cleared, and he gasped as he recognized your face.

He opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a series of coughs. You grabbed a glass of water off his bedside table, and held it up to his mouth, letting him drink.

“Relax, Sonny. You breathed in a lot of smoke,” you said softly.

Once done drinking, you put the glass back down. “I—what happened?” he asked, voice strained.

“I was hoping you could tell me; when I arrived on the scene, I didn’t see you outside with the others evacuated. So, I hurried to your office and found you passed out by your door,” you explained.

Sonny closed his eyes to think about it. “I…think I fell asleep at my desk.” He ducked his head sheepishly, wondering how exhausted he must’ve been to sleep through an alarm like that. “I crawled to my door—I remembered that smoke rises—and tried the knob. But it was stuck, and I was already so weak…” he trailed off, feeling foolish.

“Okay…well, it’s a good thing I’ve already talked to Hadid and got you time off. You need to sleep more, babe; maybe we can talk to your doctor—”

“That’s not all,” Sonny said suddenly, as if you hadn’t said anything. You could see his eyes light up with a thought, and you leaned forward to listen. “I was woken by an angel. They—they lifted me, gave me a breath of fresh air. They carried me to safety, doll.”

You blinked at him. “Sonny, my love,” you took his hand in yours. “That was me.”

He furrowed his brow at you; that couldn’t be right…. There must’ve been divine intervention—he wouldn’t be alive without it. “B-but I was choking, drowning in smoke, and they gave me air—”

“I took off my oxygen mask and put it on you. I-I’m sorry if I’m somehow damaging your faith, but that was definitely me, lifting you and carrying you out of your office.”

Sonny thought about this; it all made sense, what you were saying. Suddenly, everything clicked together; it all made sense! You watched as he sat up straighter, his smile blinding.

“So, it was an angel who saved me!” he said triumphantly. You opened your mouth to softly counter, but he continued. “You’re my guardian angel, love. You saved me, gave me your air.”

You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach, goosebumps running down your arms. “Y-yeah…I guess I did—” “Oh my god! You gave me your air on the eighth floor! Are you okay? Did you inhale a lot of smoke?”

You chuckled which turned into a cough. “Just a little bit; nothing compared to you.”

“I-I love you,” he muttered in awe. “You risked your life for me.”

You tried to shrug nonchalantly. “I-it’s part of the job—”

“Not taking off your mask for a civilian. That was all you, doll.”

You gave him a soft smile, squeezing his hand gently. “Well, I couldn’t let you die on me, Sonny. I love you too much.”

He returned your smile, squeezing your hand back. “I love you, too.”

“And the good news out of all this; both of us are on bedrest for a little while. And I intend to make you sleep.”

Sonny chuckled, coughing a little bit. “I’m not gonna fight you on it, my love.”

You smiled, glad for some time off. But Sonny had other thoughts; like when he was on the floor of his office, his mind traveled back to the engagement ring, nestled safely in his sock drawer. He pictured himself kneeling in front of you, looking up into your face. In his mind’s eye, you were smiling softly, angelic, the sun haloing around your head.

“Whatcha thinking about, Sonny?” you asked, tilting your head to look at him.

His grin got wider. “Nothing…just about how much I love you.”

[life-rewritten]

Giants of Thai BL AKA The MOST ANTICIPATED  THAI BL SHOWS FOR 2021

It's weird to think that the year 2020 has ended. This has been a journey in the past year, on the surface everywhere you looked it looked like there was no place to be happy and excited because of all the things that happened. It was suffocating at times, tiring at best, and it was just astonishing how many things could go wrong in only one year. That being said, one genre/demographic that grew even stronger this year, took some time to impress and improve on its tropes, its ideas and concepts and that's BL. Which also took some of us by surprise, for the ones who've been watching BL since the first oldies, to the new people who joined and also became in love with the genre and have stayed since then. BL has been an incredible, interesting journey, and I am so happy to say that it looks like 2021 isn't letting go of that energy. So to celebrate entering 2021, a year hopefully for a release from all the worries in 2020, a year to restart, refresh and keep getting better, here are the Giants of Thai Bl making their way in 2021. We have so many insane ones, from more mafia dramas to new unique non-university storylines, to og actors, and new powerful ones, to interesting pairings and new channels producing shows for 2021 to many many more countries joining the fight to be the top of our affections and energy. Thai BL is not going anywhere, and you know what that's perfectly fine with me.

GMMTV

I already did a whole squeal about the shows upcoming from GMMTV here: But after careful consideration here is my top 3 most anticipated: Enchante, Not Me, Bad Buddy. I know Enchante beat out ATOTS, but for me, I'm obsessed with the way the writer plans secrets and meta to unveil, and I keep repeating it's by Theory of Love director and production team. I'm so excited. I just hope they put in the same energy and effort they used in theory of love for this you have so many potential incredible actors that can take over this genre if you give them a good script and hard work. Hopefully, GMMTV intends to do so for not just their royal couple shows but also for rookie actors because Book and Force in this trailer? Looks fantastic.

Studio Wabi-sabi

When I hear about Studio Wabi-Sabi, you see two juxtaposed reactions from me, one you see anticipation and excitement from seeing my most loved actors off-screen; however, you also hear a groan from me. I'm sorry I didn't use to be this way, I used to be so ready to embrace every show directed and created by New Siwaj; in 2020, New was one of the directors I kept having headaches about because of all his shows in 2020? What exactly happened? Why did they flop so hard? Why was he so slow? I'm hoping that it's because he had too many projects to handle at the same time since fair enough LBC was filmed same time as GMMTV My gear and your gown and maybe that was too much to handle? But the reason why I like News choices usually are because they're emotional, impressive with their plot lines and have good character arcs and couples we end up falling in love with. He could be an iconic director because he has so much talent in his company, so I'm hoping he uses his lessons and grows and becomes better in 2021.  But Let's get to the shows announced so far for 2021 because they both have the potential to take over 2021. I said what I said.

Between Us

Genre:  Friends with benefits, Romance, Comedy, PTSD, Angst, 

Ahh, this is incredible. I'm so happy. Win and Team are from a great tv show already with Until We Meet Again and not going to lie, but seeing Buon as Win and Prem as Team? Perfection. Like guys I actually fell so hard for this couple despite their low screen time. Buon stole the scene each time he appeared, with his little smirks, and mischief, with flirty bad-boy energy and their relationship, was precisely what I live for passionate and full of chemistry. They're great, which is why it's so exciting to see that Between Us is getting its own show, the show based on these two love story in a parallel timeline to Until we meet again. I screamed. The book sounds interesting; we're getting some conversations about PTSD, some healing relationships, and angst and more passion.  I'm so excited about this since I first saw BuonPrem. I knew they were going to get known enough to bring their own show. And they deserve it, let's hope we get an interesting script that keeps us invested, enough opportunities for these two to have softer and profound moments whilst still holding on to their passion, and let the drama not be stale but addicting. Please New, don't let this show also be slow-paced, I'll lose it if another show is ruined by directing from you. 

Ratings: 4/5: BuonPrem, they leap off the screen, their chemistry is that great. From hearing about the plot I'm also excited to a more in-depth look into Team's insomnia and his past and psychological scars, and I'm hoping to see a deeper reason for why these two should be together.

Love Mechanics 2

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends with benefits, Unrequited love, 

That's the thing about Wabi-Sabi; they have amazing actors that steal our hearts away. This shows cast is no different, it's YinWar and it's a collab with Channel 3. Like What? It's everything. YinWar from Love Mechanics trended with millions of people obsessed and wanting the show to be extended and actually appropriately done. In came Channel 3 and we have this gem coming on April. No words. YinWar on screen is thrilling; War is just outstanding as Mark, his nuances, his glares, his looks of pain and longing, man I was absorbed into it. Although LM's writing is toxic and really left me feeling confused and uncomfortable with the details pushed aside, it was hard to ship VeeMark when Yin's character made terrible decisions and was awful even in the book. I'm the queen of analysing damaged flawed characters, and I don't run away from toxicity as long as there is a growth and change later on, as long as there's a good reason we needed to see that. For Vee's character, his actions were unnecessary for us to know about his character; they were just messy and upsetting. That's why I think seeing more depth for his actions and seeing Mark regress and also make mistakes like him will even out their relationship and make me feel more understanding about how these two flawed characters came to be and why they should be together.  Let's hope with funds from Channel 3, more effort and energy put into the show, it'll be great because with actors like War this show can be just as big as it was when it had errors. Maybe even better. 

Ratings 3.5/5 Love mechanics messy storyline makes me worried about this, but I think I might have a great time watching and analysing Mark's revenge after being heartbroken. The angst and drama of it all just sound interesting.

Channel 3

2020 brought a new surprise with Channel 3 deciding to invest in BLS. BLs have always been not on mainstream channels, so seeing Channel 3 in Thailand decide to make their own shows, a collab with other companies, and bring some directors and writers and actors known in the BL world already, shows they are serious. This may be because of the success of 2gether and other breakthroughs in 2019 taking over the scene. But I can see that Channel 3 did not come here to play, they are researching, looking for ways to make a great BL with the information provided on the past BLs and they want to make it big. And you know what with shows like GEN Y showing up last year, I want to believe that Channel 3 is a competition for GMMTV and others. They invest in funds and have longer minutes for their episodes, and they also pay attention to international fans by streaming on new places like Iquiyi and others. It's exciting. Channel 3 has already dipped their toes with Love Mechanics, and in 2021 they have even more shows to give us:

Teddy Bear Miracle

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Supernatural, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Fantasy,  Mystery, Lakorn

What a weird title for a show. What an odd premise. What a bizarre book. But you know what I'm so excited about this; this is meant to be a lakorn series that is BL. Like wow, it has a good cast, known faces in the Thai acting scene and a director/screenwriter who has won awards for his own script. That's even more exciting. But the best thing about this is that it's a fantasy and has supernatural themes, yep it's weird we're dealing with a magic system where teddy bears come to life, and other inanimate objects talk? But I'm so excited to see what this brings; we have a man transformed from a teddy bear with amnesia who's searching for his past and how he ended up as one and his owner who's not yet ready to let his comfort go. It's so interesting, with family history and drama and of course, a romance that will probably touch my heart. I'm excited for this zany, wacky and dramatic show. Normally, I shy away from the crazy because I don't like crack humour, and it just means a bunch of many irritating sound effects and editing choices. But I want to trust the whole team from Channel 3, from the behind the scenes the show looks great, the couple has chemistry, and I'm excited to delve into the mystery at play and see what this story is meant to become. So excited honestly.

Ratings: 4.1/5 The wacky magic system scares me not going to lie, but I have faith for some reason in Channel 3, so I think this might shock us all. I think we'll get good acting, and perhaps good directing too. The mystery might also make me want to analyse. We shall see.

Lovely Writer

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Acting/Writing Industry, Haters to Lovers,  

Did you say Kao and Up and P'Tee the director of TharnType the series? Sign me up I'm there; I've been screaming a bit since I heard about this series. From the first time, it was announced that Channel 3 was turning the book into a show, I was like this sounds unique again? And it has an interesting plot, I guess, and it's also going to have drama. I'm hopeful then. When I heard about the whole team and watched the trailer, I got into it even more. Lovely Writer sounds right up my alley, to be honest, we have this introverted writer who is determined to write a masterpiece and stop his company from making him produce BLs for the hype only for his next project to be a BL show which leads him to his new sneaky, sly, wolf in sheep's clothing roommate. Kao played his roommate from Until we meet again who won my heart as Korn and made me cry buckets. So, of course, I'm excited, Nubsib (Kao) may have some tricks up his sleeve to get next to Gene, but I think things will be more complicated than he thought, I'm ready to explore the world of the film industry and dating scandals that Gene and Sib will fall into the more they fall for each other. The angst and drama. Can't wait. Also, TharnType is one of my favourite series, and one of the reasons is because of Tee so... That's even more reason to see Gene and Sip's love story develop. Will it be as angsty, passionate and filled with plot twists? From what I hear maybe. 

Ratings: 4/5 I just think this is an excellent team for a BL backed by Channel 3 and also has an exciting plot filled with ups and downs. I'm excited to see what happens and from the behind the scenes they released in the new year I think it'll be right up my alley.

NADAO

It had to be mentioned that I'm still in shock that Nadao is investing more into BL's. I don't know why, it just feels too good to be true, after giving me show after show that's perfection and quality I'm starting to have high expectations and hope for more, despite my weary heart not wanting to trust that this is real. I'm dramatic, I know. Anyways Nadao has gifted me twice with two shows that have shocked me and made my jaw fall in awe. I'm just like wow, they really did that. Every single piece of work that comes from them is art. Every single script is exceptionally written. Every single show is acted beautifully, and every single director and producer makes me inspired by the way they create. This is when focusing on their BLs because Great Man Academy and I told sunset about you are masterpieces in their own way, they deserve to be praised and never forgotten. It's just incredible that with a company like Nadao, everything falls into place, even when we think it won't because of past experiences. Nadao has shown up and decided to create unique pieces each thoughtful. Deep and breathtaking. Why won't I be over the moon when 2021 announces that we're getting another part from them with I told sunset about you getting a sequel. You bet I haven't stopped screaming and looking at the time to hurry up, so we get to March 11. I'm serious.

ITSAY PART 2

Genre: Romance,  Angst, Drama, University, Coming of age

And that's because of what ITSAY was to us in 2020. It was something that can't be explained concisely. It was everything. To hear that we're getting the second part of the story of Oh and Teh, I feel like I am already preparing my heart and mind for another invasion, last time I was a mess because of this show, I was all over the place because of this show, and I was incredibly happy for a moment because of this show. To relive that again would be everything. It's slightly worrying that Teh and Oh finally getting together and fighting through the odds to stay together will run into more obstacles. Are you kidding me? After all, we went through to see them together?? It makes me worried, I have this real distrust for sequels of BLs, and it hasn't changed despite 2020 producing some okay follow-ups. Sequels never meet the expectation set; sequels are always reduced in quality because the focus is now on popularity and fame, sequels lose their integrity of the characters we've come to know and love and sequels hurt. They make me sometimes give up on a show that is my love, and it hurts. It's a painful realisation that I can't take away or forget the sequel events, so these characters are now ruined infinitely for me—looking at Together with me next chapter. It's scary. But Nadao hasn't failed yet, I mean it when I say their scripts are like works of art, I mean it when I say you can tell they put blood, sweat and tears to create their shows, why would ITSAY part 2 be any different? These two shows I mentioned before are coming together because the director of GMA is joining the team of ITSAY to produce whilst Boss becomes the producer. As long as he's there, I'm fine, as long as we still get hard work, energy, effort and thought put into it. I'm fine. Because it translates on screen, I'll try to lower my expectations, but I can't wait to see BilkinPP as TehOh again. I can't wait to fall in love with the show all over again. Let's hope we all end up satisfied. 

Ratings: 4.5/5 The being a sequel is what's deducting the 0.5. I can't come here and be a fool; I must guard my heart against disappointment somewhat, despite failing already to do so.

Other Affiliates

We have our other shows. These were a pleasant surprise. With all the growth of new BLs, it's starting to get crowded and saturated, but as much as it's hard to see which shows stand out above all the noise,  some make you see it. These shows are the ones that stand out for me out of the rest in 2021. I don't know what companies they're from, all I know is the information given to me and past experiences.

KinnPorsche

Genre: Romance, Mafia, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Bodyguard trope

AHHH. Can you hear me AHH. Okay, I'll calm down. But no really, KinnPorsche is finally preparing for filming and the cast has been set and I'm screaming. KinnPorsche was the book in 2020 that was announced as the most coveted; I remember so many fandoms wanted their actors to be chosen as the main cast. The reason? Because this is meant to be the first Mafia/Crime BL. Yes, you heard us, no more universities and engineers we're doing bodyguards and spoilt gangsters. I'm... But just knowing this, you just know that the show will also have angst, angst angstttt for days, drama, and a romance that probably involves haters to lovers, passion, and character development. We're coming in with guns blazing, with many side couples that look just as good and interesting, and many actors that look perfect for their roles. I cannot wait for KinnPorsche, especially when one of my favourite actors is going to be in it as a second lead Jeff Satur! Have you seen the posters, the character introduction, who they're casting for the rest of the show? This looks amazing, it seems well put together, and the whole team looks determined and ready to give us a great show. I'm honestly so excited, but I've also heard things about the book that I will have to wait for the show to be a judge of before saying. All I can say is quality of a show also includes the themes in the script, we're trying to evolve past the toxic plots and ideas in BL, so I'm hoping if there is any we cut it real quick and change that part. It's the producers and directors' choice to keep parts in that could be edited or removed. I haven't read the book, so I'm going to be wary about it for now, but from the whole cast, teasers, and posters I really think this show could be a favourite if appropriately handled. 

Ratings: 4?/5 The question mark is for the rumours I've heard about the book. I can't lie that I want this show to be great and become one of my all-time favourites but with angst and violent personalities and passion comes leeways to toxicity and more and that's just not cute or needed.

My Engineer Season 2

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Unrequited love,  University,

Okay, this is it, folks. My Engineer came in 2020 and knocked our socks off; it's the most underrated great show in 2020 (apart from why r u) in my opinion. It was brilliantly constructed with enough screen time and plot for every couple of the show. My Engineer is a great show; it didn't make it to my favourites because I had issues with the main couple, but it was my most enjoyed when it came to the side couples. Because we had KingRam, TharaFong, and MekBoss. (Sorry to BohnDuen Fans). These were some of the most exciting, heartfelt, loving couples in 2020, KingRam was just chef kiss. And to hear that we're getting a sequel based on them? Well you know what I did, I screamed. I loved both KingRam and TharaFrong they were done so well, acted so well, and they made me laugh and laugh and then squeal and blush. They were too cute. The ending of my engineer left both these couples on a cliff hanger; we had a depressing bro zone with TharaFong as Fong came to realise his feelings, we had a wait what moment with Ram telling King he wasn't drunk when the kiss happened which is essentially a 'we need to deal with this new situation' text. And it's got me so excited to see what happens next. The first part of this was excitement. The second part is sigh, sequels. I told you didn't sequels are just urgh. I couldn't stop my excitement about KingRam, and I went to read the novel, and I usually don't mind it, but I don't think if the sequel is based on their story that I'd like them in season 2. And that's ridiculous because they're finally the main couple of season 2, and TalayPerth is impressive to see on screen. Sigh. I wasn't happy when reading the book; there are specific actions and choices made that just shifts the dynamic of the first season into the opposite. And I'm not particularly excited to relive those moments. Let's just say I still have high hopes for My engineer mostly cause I don't know what's happening to the other couples; I really hope there's a change in the script, maybe more information, more reasons for the characters to act the way they do, more depth? Because I want to like this show, I want it successful, but I'm not a clown I can't pretend it will be if it's based on the books. We'll see if I'm proved wrong. I hope I am.

Ratings: 3.5- Why did I read the book why?? I should have come into it blind I would have given it a 5/5 just for KingRam. Sigh

Love Stage 

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Gender Bender, Friends to Lovers, Childhood friends,  

This was a shock. Thailand has started to remake mangas from Japan, and it's all the most loved ones. In 2021 we already have Antique Bakery being remade by GMMTV (Read my GMMTV Giants of 2021) and now we have Love Stage which is also getting a Japanese Movie remake out in 2021. It's a great manga, anime and it's going to be a fun show. I enjoyed the characters, and I liked the storyline. But what I'm the most excited about when it comes to this is Kaownah and Turbo finally, after years of waiting have a new series. YES. Kaownah plays Long in TharnType our villain, and he was incredible in that. I heard he and Turbo were meant to be in the show My Umbrella, but it was cancelled and forgotten which was disappointing. These two are so cute, they're known for their fanservice and their chemistry and friendship. And I like them a lot. I can't wait to see Love Stage. I think they'll kill it. Can't wait to hear more about it let's hope this time it sticks and comes through on our screens. 

Ratings: 4/5 It's a fun storyline, and it has an excellent acting couple. I'm excited.

If 2021 already sounded brilliant because of GMMTV 2021, 2021 sounds even more exciting with these new shows; there's so many coming out, so many breaking stereotypes, so many unique plotlines, and so many great actors showing up. It's going to be a great year. I'm just glad BLs are growing, things are changing slowly, things are starting to have meaning and improve, international fans are being listened to, LGBT voices is also being listened to, we are getting there, not yet there but closer, every single time someone makes a choice to create a great plot and story that is more than just two guys making out, a show filled with heart, messages and essential representation with the good actors that also want the shows to mean something or are willing to put their all in it, every time someone chooses to make a good BL, you're paving the way for change and for the meaning of BL to change as well, for it just to be seen as something more in media. And that's needed for so many people who want shows like this to be respected and created for voices that need to be heard and displayed. Let’s see more with excellent quality in 2021.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Shadow Into Light (Lena Retrospective): Friendship Hates Magic! (Commission by WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! And welcome, and to some of you welcome back to Shadow Into Light, my fully paid for but gladly done Lena retrospective, covering everyone’s faviorite lesbian emo shadow’s personal jounrey through all three seasons and some brucey bonuses.

So this time we pick up in mid-season 2.. yes MID season 2. Though for once taking so long to adress things had valid reasons. It dosen’t make the 8 month wait for Lena to return and for Violet to show up, her concept art having been shown off shortly before Shadow War aired during San Diego Comic Con, any less aggravating, especially since the episode did air overseas before that but never leaked anywhere properly. So I knew she’d be okay but not HOW. 

As I said though.. they had their reasons. The episode was set for episode 8 in production order, right behind whatever Happened to Della Duck? which answered the other big cliffhanger from season 1, Della’s exile on the moon. So while this episode was back in the queue, along with Della’s, which had to wait till after the christmas episode to air because said episode takes place before it. So waiting on this episode was fair on the crew’s part even knowing it was a hiatus. 

It ended up getting pushed back by a week once the episodes started airing.. but as outlined last time, THIS TIME Disney actually moved it for good reason instead of just doing so because shut up. See the problem with moving episodes around in season 2.. is Della’s return. Several episodes that in theory could’ve easily been pushed back instead of this one, Depths of Cousin Fethry, Treasure of the Found Lamp... couldn’t because they take place BEFORE Della came back and it’d be weird to air them after.  One features Donald, the other dosen’t but still lacks Della and it’d be weird if it did> While this episode takes place before Della comes back or was at least meant to, no one appears in person, and Beakly mentoning “the boys and scrooge” at the bin could simply be her forgetting Della’s a part of things for a second. It’s not entirely in character, but it’s much easier than explaning why Della’s not there and Donald is. 

They also moved one episode ahead of this.. but it’s one I approve of. See from episode 7 onward the episodes were aired in week long duckbombs, woo-ooo. I I don’t fault disney for it or the reason I suspect they had for doing this: while it wasn’t the intended way of airing, they likely did this airing style to get shows on Disney Plus quicker for it’s debut and given they’ve sunk a LOT of money into the streaming service and it’s a key part of their future, I can’t blame them for wanting the entire series thus far on the platform at launch. It’s one of if not their most popular show at the moment. They wanted it front and center. 

So this one took an extra week to air, and an extra day as they aired raiders of the doomsday vault right after Della’s return in “Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!”.. which is also not a bad move. Fans wanted more of Della and her bonding with the kids, I wanted more of that so while the wait was grumble inducing, it was worth the tradeoff to get more of this character and her bonding with Dewey.. and let’s face it Glomgold.  You know what i’m about at this point. 

So there were delays but not the mind boggling ones that reshuffled the season last time and by next season there’d be zero reshuffling with both holiday episodes designed to go anywhere. So with the history and the agonizing wait out of the way join me under the cut as a snark knight returns, a new fan faviorite debuts and Beakly gets sucked into Launchpad’s awful fandom. 

We open our story at the Duckburg Library. Man I fucking miss the library. I mean you can go by apointment and what not but I also have library card debt and stuff, and it’s just not the same. 

Anyways naturally Webby is going there to research the Shadow Realm in hopes of finding something to bring Lena back. Last week was “Children’s Card Games, Dark Magic and You! by Professor Yugi Moto which while enlightening got her nowhere. Next up is “Shadow Games on Motorcycles!: How a Crimson Dragon defeated a giant Shadow Monster and brought the dead back and I helped by Doctor Yusei Fudo”. 

But that one’s not in yet so she instead goes to the Librarian to get another book.. and it’s Quackfaster! Horay! As for why she’s working two jobs, she’s saving up for a retirement condo in BIRDDDBAAADDOOOSSSSS. I had to type it that way it’s ape law. 

But her next book “I Went there and it Sucked, My Time in the Shadow Realm by Mayor of New Jersey Joey Wheeler” is taken by “another strange little girl”. Quackfaster, you chase people around with a scimitar. Just accept your the weird one and live with it like me. You’ll be happier that way. 

And so we finally meet Violet whose introduced pitch perfectly. Webby gives out her usual “Hi I”m Webby”.. and Violet simply holds a finger up, finishes her page and gives a simple “Yes?” It demonstrates her quite nature, her love of reading and her lack of social skills all in one fell swoop. The ensuing dead language off is also pretty damn adorable reminding me of that scene from “Lisa’s Wedding” where she and Hugh fight over a book and reading it before making out.. minus the making out because these are children, no one wants that, and Webby is taken. .and even then again children. Most we get is an innocent peck and some blushing. 

So Violet, finding out Webby needs it and is researching the arcane too offers to research together tonight, bringing a sleeping bag just in case it goes on long... to Lena’s unheard objections as she’s rattled by the break in her normal routine with Webby, and the possibility of Webby falling for someone else. I mean this i framed as a friendship thing... but you can only say “friend” so many times in a work before you sound like a retired grandma in denial about their granddaughter. 

Later at the Mansion, Beakley is enjoying a nice quiet afternoon to herself. Turns out once a month Scrooge has “Binventory Day” where he and the boys catalogue the bin for hours giving her a night to herself and Webby. Webby loudly interuppts the peace as is Cartoon Law, but Beakley is pleased Webby is getting back on the friendship horse. 

Bentina ends up ruining it a bit though by bringing up her previous slumber party disasters... which even Lena at her most jealous admits were her fault and only agrees to in the hopes Webby’s going to cancel. Instead Webby decides to make this the most normal sleepover ever! The one where her new friend is coming to specifically help her with magic. 

 Bentina tries to back her grandaughter/daughter down from this insane logic, but Webby does, if innocently clap back well to her being the one to give her “Be yourself” advice.  “I’m not like you Granny, I need to have friends”

And while Webby quickly flees after Beakley tries to deny it.. she’s not wrong. She has exactly one friend who she works for and no social life to speak of.. and as far as I can tell she’s fine this way. Beakley is happy with her work and raising Webby and has someone to talk to in Scrooge. She has everything she needs, while Webby is a social butterfly.. a socially inept social butterfly. She needs people and loves meeting new people and needs friends and not just her family. One’s an introvert the other’s an extrovert. I’m both at times, and before you ask why yes it is a living nightmare thank you so much for asking. I get where both are coming from. And Beakley clearly had friends at one point it’s just a long war with FOWL and a sudden granddaughter probably whittled it down to just Scrooge. It’s okay to be yourself. 

So this is where the plotlines split off, so as usual, i’m splitting the up. 

Launchpad and Beakley in Getting To Know You And Getting Sucked INto Your Strange and Lovely Fandom

So Beakley naturally cries out “name one person I don’t get along with.. and in walks Launchpad , Nature’s Perfect Himbo, having destroyed the gate and at least being honest he probably will again. Why he’s here when the boys and Scrooge are all gone? 

But I don’t care as this subplot is just.. a nonstop delight. Starting with Beakly inviting Launchpad to sup with her.. which just confuses him. Look Bentina you have to use small words.. it’s a miracle he gets up in the morning, dreses himself and hasn’t died in a tragic gasoline fight accident. You have to know your audience. Still funny.

And “not knowing your audience” continues as Beakly serves them pea soup but Launchpad is intimidated by the spoons and while she does offer to help instead tries to use all of them then a straw and then falls facedown in his soup. And this is the SECOND TIME Beakly’s left someone living at the mansion to die. I mean that’s not a lot but it’s still weird it happened twice. 

Finally they sit quitely, Beakly reading the Scarlet Pimpernell, and Launchpad doing a coloring book. And besides the odd couple energy what I really like about this subplot.. is that it fleshes Beakly out> This is one of her ONLY plots in the entire goddamn series, yes really. 70 episodes and she only got five spotlight episodes/plots. But it does at least show her off: her upperclass pedigree we really don’t see often, showing that while she applied to the job as maid out of necisity she knows her stuff, her love of classic literature and her being out of touch with the common person. It’s not a ton but it’s more than ninja butler or “stop having fun with your kids della and be a parent”. I mean she wasn’t wrong but she could’ve been nicer about it given the circumstances. 

So Launchpad, given Beakley’s never shown any interest in him as a person before, assumes she’s going to fire him and was just softening him up. I mean Scrooge himself outright said he never would and if he did he’d do it to your face, hard as it’d be. But that aside, he’s fine with getting to know her once he knows that no he’s not being fired she just wanted to hang out, he’s everyone’s friend. But naturally an upperclash british former super spy and a dumb as a bucket with a heart of gold pilot have nothing in common, not even aircraft as “plane go up, plane crash going down’ is about the extent of his actual knowledge on aircraft that isn’t instinct or dumb luck. 

He does manage to break the ice though, mistaking her book for a Darkwing Duck book and deciding to show her the show since it might be something they have in common. At first she’s as unintuhsed as you’d expect a british lady who never watches the telly watching a 90′s kids show would be.. but by the end she’s gotten all the way into it.

 It’s really endearing, showning that two vastly diffrent people with nothing can common can be brought together by something as simple and glorious as liking the same show. I’ve had it happen with me. She naturally is all for filiming his fanscript after the finale provides no answers, being the one to suggest it and the two end the episode shooting it with her in full darkwing duck cosplay. I’ts a cute and entertaining subplot and a nice contrast to the main plot which while not super dark, does have a fog of tension over it. Speaking of which. 

Webby, Lena and Violet: In Two’s Company, Three Accidently Creates Monsters That Nearly Take Your Girlfriend Off Into The Shadowy Abyss So the slumber party gets underway with Webby shooing away Duckworth after clearing out her room to greet Violet herself and violet having brought pie... a great callback to an earlier joke where Webby wondered if pie was normal at a sleepover. No but it should be. So Webby welcomes her in to her totally normal room devoid of anything. Nothing suspicious about that. 

So Violet tries to get her into research, specifically Tulpas, an actual magical concept, a mental construct of some kind created out of desire, imagination or what have you. Gee I wonder if that will come into play this episode. Webby.. wants to play baggle or what have you or do makeovers and drags Violet along to do the second thing after Violet asks about Magica.  Lena then finds something glowing in Violet’s bag...specifically, her old amulet, cracked but still working and flowing with Magica’s power. 

Lena assumes Violet is Magica and goes to warn Webby only to find her HORRIBLY MUTATED! Naturally it’s a misdirect, as it turns out Violet is just REALLY good at special effects makeup. It’s something I honestly forgot about her... i’m betting one of her dad’s is an effects artist. Just saying that’d be neat. But Webby gives the “i’m normal really even though I live in a giant mansion with my dad I don’t know is my dad and my grandma whose actually my adopted mom” game away by pointing out the demon’s fang is crooked and Violet is curious and heads to Webby’s room finding a picture from said demon. He signed it and everything. Good man that Rakshaka. 

Webby is worried Violet will be freaked out by all the weird but nope, she enjoys it. And it’s not a suprise: violet is actively researching the shadow dimension. Why WOULD she be scared off. The conflict was in Webby’s head all along.. and partly out of PTSD, but we’ll get to that. Webby still tries to get her to baggle but they settle on ancient rune dice baggle and summoning some spirits. Lena scoffs.. until it actually works. It does make sense though: As we’ll see in her last starring role, Lena is kinda like Wanda Maximoff: she has an extreme amount of power but she has no idea how to use it and is simply making up most of her magic as she goes along or took magica’s lead. But the spell means Lena can touch the dice so she spells out don’t trust her.. but forgets she’s dealing with two nerds who love unlocking puzzles and assume the message is on the dice themselves. 

Webby and Violet decide they need more clarity and resume the seance.. which summons mysterious white shadow creatures Lena saw before.. .some now taking Magica’s shape. And Lena’s panicked “Oh not again” says it all. So Lena tries the tried and true bedsheet ghost cliche, grumbling about it but showing up as a ghost without any abillity to speak or talk to webby dosen’t do anything and Violet tackles the sheet before deciding to grab the amulet to dispiate the spirit.. only for Lena to show up for a breif second before she does show making the panicked child look incredibly supscious. 

Webby naturally tackles and interrogates Violet wanting the full story. And it turns out the big secret is.. Violet is entirely normal. Nothing to do with Magica, no possesions or secretly being her or a minon of hers... she was just a logic obsessed 12 year old who thought magic was a myth.. until the Shadow War proved “Nope it’s real everything you know is wrong. Up is down black is white and short is long”. She just happened to be close to the bin and found the amulet when the remains of the staff fell near her and compacted back into it. 

It’s a brilliant reveal. See first watch around your genuinely unsure if Violet is a real person or not.. unless you went in knowing she is, but semantics. Point is most first time viewers didn’t know she’d be a beloved member of the supporting cast and didn’t know what to expect. But looking back... it makes no sense. If Magica had the amulet.. why would she need to infiltrate the mansion. Revenge? Possibly but she’d want Scrooge there too. Even being evil on her own Violet had valid opportunity to pilfer Webby’s magical items, she has an entire box of magic rocks right there and then simply zap her with the amulet. But she didn’t.. because Violet is a person.  When she DOES use it she’s utterly terrified, and we can see her breathing heavy, scared.. something Magica has NEVER been of Lena. To Violet it was just a ghost. Webby hadn’t told her about lena and any information she had about her was second hand from newspapers and the like. 

Webby is sympathetic, as Violet’s feeling of being sheltered from this greater world naturally resonates and while Lena is still supscious, having reincorperated, it’s clear Webby trusts violet and simply dosen’t want to loose another friend to magic. Here trying to hide it now takes another tone.. she knows Lena was behind it.. but is so afraid of it consuming violet the way it did Lena, she forgets almost ALL of the weird magic stuff in sleepovers was magica’s manipulation, and that Lena died because her creator was a monster, not because of magic. Magic is not inherently good or bad, it just is, and that will come back as a theme in a few episodes. It allowed Magica to ravage the town and kill Lena.. but it allowed Lena to exist in the first place and while the terrible events with Magica clearly shook her.. it also shook violet out of her complacency and got her to research a world she never would’ve considered. Good can come from bad. 

And it���s with this in mind that Violet.. does not give up. She’s stayed in her box enough.. and now she knows the spirit is a friendly one.. she figures they can bring Lena BACK using the amulet. After all it was lena’s and the source of her powers.. it might be the key to reiviving her. And while Lena, if invisibly as always, remarks it’s dangerous.. Webby, with no hesitation agrees to get her girlfriend back. It’s risky sure.. but what Lena hasn’t gotten is she’s WORTH the list. She’s so full of self loathing from both her manupations of webby and Magica’s gaslighting and abuse that she can’t see herself being worth anything even as Webby spent MONTHS trying to save her, clearly still loves her, and only didn’t want violet getting hurt because she misses her.  Webby still loves and needs her for who Lena is.. Lena just can’t it and it hurts to think about that. 

So the girls once again try to summon Lena and it starts to work.. but also summons the Tulpa’s back... this time taking Magica’s form and causing a suspcious lena to panic.. and suck both of them into the shadow realm. We get the reunion we’ve been waiting for as Webby tackle hugs her happily.

But it’s soon cut short as Lena still thinks Violet is just manipulating Webby, lying to her and that “she’s mine!”

For the record Joss Whedon sucks, not taking that out on Anthony Stewart Head  or the guys who actually wrote the episode. Moving on. 

I feel Lena’s jealousy comes from the aformentioned self loathing, mixed with a life of having to live just to surivive at the beck and call of a throughly awful person who didn’t consider her a sentient being worthy of anything especially love. She can’t fathom anyone else loving Webby the way she does because she feels once webby has anyone else.. she won’t need her. It’s toxic and wrong.. but it’s easy to see why that’d happen when sh’es only had one healthy relationship. She barely knows the boys, Beakly only grew to tolerate her and she was only friends with Scrooge for like.. a minute. Webby is the only person she knows, loves and trusts and she just can’t risk loosing that and can’t convince herself to share. 

In a realistic scenario Lena would have to simply learn to trust and let her girlfriend have other relationshps and that hogging her all to herself is inhernetly toxic and bad. And while she still does we’re talking about a living pile of shadows smooching a clone, so yeah instead the tulpas come out and drag her off..and take Lena’s form. While Lena tries to blame Violet, Violet has absolutley none of that and makes Lena see the hard truth: Lena is so worried about being forgotten, she created the tulpas by accidnet. As I said her power is raw and unfocused.. so she didn’t do it on purpose nor did she realize how toxic she was being. This finally snaps Lena back to reality, and see Violet geniunely cares about Webby and any ulterior motives were just in her head, so the two agree to work together, using a similar chant to the one from Jaws to destroy the Tulpas and save Webby.

So the shadow realm is disapated and our trio are returned to the human world.. but Lena, not being part of it and no longer having a tether.. starts to disolve, with a really heartbreaking scene of Webby holding her hand, as does violet. But.. then a miracle happens. Since the Bracelet was Lena’s link to Webby, and to her own magic, with it and the amulet close by.. both swirl around Lena, and the power of love.. for a new friend and a first love... revivies her. Mist parts.. and we get one heartwarming sign that after all this time  “I’m back?!” Lena is confused.. but once again part of this plane of reality. She’s free and WEbby triumphanthly hugs her with Violet joining in. By letting go of her hate.. Lena returned to who she loved. They also run into the end of the other subplot and Launchpad’s casual hey lena is just great. 

So our heroes are reunited and doing horror makeup and I really love Webby’s updo here and wish more works fan nd otherwise used it. WE get a final fakeout as Lena seemingly disovles and Violet reveals herself as magica.. only for it to be a prank and Webby to just be glad the love of her life and her new best friend get a long. We get one last hearwarming image and we close out.. with Lena finally having what she always wanted freedom. And while she may not know it yet in accepting violet.. she’s finally found family. More on that in a few weeks. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is excellent. It’s not the best of the Lena arc, that comes next and it does drag once or twice.. but overall it’s a really great character piece, with a nice ballance betwen the tense main plot and the funny and goofy subplot. It adds more to Lena’s character, finally brings her back, while giving us a new and throughly fascenating new character to rave about in Violet, as well as giving Webby her own personal squad. It’s a great episode.. and only leads to a better one. But we’ll get to that in a week or so. First we have a bit of a detour and my plug. 

If you liked this review, follow for more, spread it around, and join my patreon. It’s almost time for new patreons to pay up and if you hit my stretch goal i’ll review a darkwing duck episode next month and every month! We’re just five bucks away people! And if you’d like to just comission a review directly it’s just 5 bucks an episode and avaliable via my dms, ask or discord. 

Next Time on Shadow Into Light: We take a break from the last two Lena episodes to go to one of her sources as we head back to Ducktales 87 with Magica’s Shadow War! I know almost nothing going in so... Shadow betrayals and stuff? Yay?

Tommorow: It’s Fenton’s birthday! And since i’ve done a LOT of ducktales recently and can’t do super ducktales till I hit my next stretch goal at 25 bucks, we’re going back to ST Canard at long last for Gizmoducks second apperance.. which can’t possibly be worse than the first so i’m excited. Let’s get dangerous tommorow!

[lunar-writings-love]

College!AU - Hongjoong (ateez)

ahaha so i’m baaaack ;; super sorry for all the inactivity babes life has been weighing down on all of us i’m sure and i needed some time! This is the next installment of the college!au ateez series, and although i had planned to have hongjoong last, y’all requested him so much i wrote him next and changed the order around! 

Author’s note: Bullet fic, 

Warnings: like a drop of angst if u squint ?? the word sh!t appears one time i think

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hongjoong:

he’s so cute i’m Sad

ok so Joongie is just so loved, so treasured by everyone ,, every time he enters into a room everyone just 🥺

he’ll walk into a room looking all sleepy in overalls or something and literally everyone’s parental instincts awaken from the depths of college emotional indifference and suddenly ,, 

there’s world peace it’s a sight to see 

so, our Hongjoongie is actually a double major!! 

he’s a world lit major, and he’s minoring in gender studies so his emphasis is on analyzing feminist texts 

more often than not, the best way to find hongjoong is to just go to the library on the south side of campus at odd hours at night and you’ll usually find him buried underneath a pile of books ;; (and more often than not he’ll also be sleeping because baby can’t stay awake to save his life ://) 

But he really does love his major ,, and If u let him ,  he’ll rave hours and hours about literature; analyzing them through historical context, societal reflection, the role of women, writing style..... 

....he just loves what he does and it makes everyone around him love him for it too!! 

He always has extensive talks with Yeosang (an english major who took a lot of lit classes with hongjoong hint go read the yeosang!au) on american 19th century feminist writings

they started their own book club and it’s literally just them two, no other members allowed, and all they do is eat finger sandwiches and shit on misogynistic men we sTAN

HoWEVer, although hongjoong’s work in literature is impressive and respected, he’s probably better known for his second major: 

music composition!

music is the love of his life ,,, no buts there’s nothing he’ll love more than his art (except maybe you aha ha ha ;)

and people knew him around campus becaaaauseeeeee ,,,,, he would usually ,,, dj at frat parties... 

it wasn’t something he particularly liked, but hey money is money.

in all seriousness though, when hongjoong wasn’t reading or writing papers, he was glued to his mac producing tracks and writing lyrics 

the only thing was ,,, he didn’t actually sing any of what he wrote 

he never thought his own voice suited his songs, and would much rather sit on the sidelines moving along the creative direction 

and although the boys usually are the ones to sing his demos,, joongie always felt like something was still ,,, missing 

this is where u come in wink wonk 

you’re just a lowly econ major who surprisingly !! doesn’t !! want !! to start your own fortune 500 company :DD !! wow so rare :) 

anYWaYS,, you’re just doing it cuz your parents pressured you into pursuing a career with stable job opportunities and you’re kinda good at math and graphs soooo 

....why not 

but to be honest, you always felt trapped 

you were never able to stop that feeling of impending doom when you’d open your macro-econ textbooks ,,,

or how your heart hurt when you think about the fact that your life is headed straight to an incredibly mundane future :

a desk job, an overpriced apartment that barely has enough room for you, living in constant air pollution from the city’s high carbon emissions, never finding true love, dying alone with 50 cats,  taxes...you get the drift

you usually pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind, negativity isn’t productive and right now you had a world economics midterm to study for

but..

not that you’d ever admit it, your true passion had always been music 

you weren’t the best composer, you knew just enough piano to get you but; but you had a set of PIPES dAmN

your friends could usually find you at the dorm’s music rooms ,, and whenever you felt stress or needed to unwind, you’d usually head over to those rooms

now ,,, these rooms are soundproof // but the trick is you actually have to close the door cuz if u don’t......

everyone can hear you 

and by everyone I mean the entire floor

you were doing your usual thing at the music room one night when one of your friends came in to let you know everyone would be heading over to dinner soon,, u promised only one more song before meeting them upstairs on your dorm floor 

hoWEVeR, U DIDN’T REALIZE THAT WHEN YOUR FRIEND WALKED AWAY THEY LEFT THE DOOR OPEN 

and soo ,, when u started singing again  //// everyone heard 

and by everyone i mean ???!?

hongjoong :))

and it was love at first sight ,,, or rather 

,, love at first listen??

he won’t ponder over the semantics, all Hongjoong knew was that he had been looking for a voice like yours and needed you on his tracks 

this man barged into the room and begged you to lend your voice for his songs 

...on his knees :00

you were in shock like what were you supposed to do?

this random man stormed in and got on his knees ,, 

what was next ??

marriage ????

u didn’t really say anything for a while just kinda looked him in his eyes 

but then your uwu instincts kicked in--u don’t know what it is about this dude but u just wanna like give him candy or something 

and so you hesitantly asked for his name 

and that’s when hongjoong realized he was an IDIOT 

because not only was your voice heavenly, but of course you were cute too and he just presented himself like a complete and utter maniac and He Didn’T eVEN bOTHER To TelL You hIS NAme!

he wanted the ground to swallow him up but alas 

he got off his knees and shyly stuck out his hand and told you his name 

you looked at him once again ,, and surprisingly 

you took his hand with a small smile on your face 

you ended up totally forgetting about dinner with your friends at the dining hall 

because hongjoong sat beside you on the piano bench and showed you his songs and lyrics, and you....fell in love <3

you’d never connected with anyone on this type of emotional level before and it was almost sort of overwhelming 

it also kinda gave you hope too ,, because here was Hongjoong ,, someone who managed to get the best of both worlds : a music and a lit degree

and you thought that maybe ,, you could do something with music too 

you guys exchanged numbers and scheduled to meet at the university’s recording studio that weekend 

Hongjoong composed a track and you added your own lyrics with his help--after two weeks of mixing, mastering, producing, and recording ,,, you guys officially released a single!!

you really weren’t expecting it, but hongjoong was a bit of a social butterfly and so the song became a hit on campus 

people were uploading it to their social media, sharing it with friends, playing it while they worked out, it was kinda ridiculous to you 

the student paper even wrote an article about it (and later you found out that the journalist was one of hongjoong’s friend’s girlfriend ,, (hint go read the yunho!au)

And when the song reached 10,000 streams, that gave you the confidence to do what you had always wanted to do 

you called your parents up on a Saturday morning to tell them you were picking up a vocal performance major 

you were extremely anxious for this conversation, so Hongjoong decided to stay by your side for moral support 

As both of you waited with baited breath for your parents’ response, Hongjoong was also right there just ,, holding your hand so sweetly,, and that was driving YOU INSANE 

(because in these past couple of months you had gotten to know Hongjoong you had mostly definitely, absolutely, completely fallen head over heels for him)  

after a long moment of silence, your parents agreed 

they weren’t too happy about it, but they also weren’t as against it as you thought they’d be--the only condition was that you’d continue with econ and instead double major 

it would honestly be hard considering the amount of mandatory classes and performances required of the vocal performance major, but you were too happy to care 

after your goodbyes with your parents, you looked over to Hongjoong with the biggest smile on your face 

and it just,, absolutely melted his heart 

before he could stop himself he just wrapped his arms around you and twirled you around

and then :) he gave you the softest kiss on your cheek 

of course, after it dawned on him what he had done, he instantly turned red and started chucking nervously as he stuttered his words 

but for you, the newfound confidence and ADRENALINE after your successful phone call with your parents, you grabbed both sides of his face and asked him if you could kiss him 

Hongjoong was wide-eyed but LIKE HELL he would pass up this up 

so after muttering out a shy yes, y’all kissed awwww :))

and after that, you guys became a couple! 

you’d show up to the frat parties he would DJ at and would always dance like an idiot with wooyoung in the corner of the room 

and you and hongjoong would always partner up for music composition and performance projects: Hongjoong would write the tracks and you’d sing for them

you guys were honestly such a soft couple 

you also picked up the habit of studying sleeping at the library with hongjoong because double majoring was hard and it required a lot of work

and it just, now became a thing for people to always find you along with Hongjoong sleeping under a pile of books 

you guys kept on releasing more singles after that, and are currently working on an EP!

and honestly, you were so incredibly happy 

you had the most amazing boyfriend, and you were pursuing your passion 

and you felt just a little bit better knowing that your future was unclear

you no longer pictured yourself at a desk job, living out an absolutely dreadful life 

instead, you finally realized the multitude of opportunities at your disposal

and with Hongjoong by your side, you just knew everything in life would work out in the end!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!

Love you guys! Stay safe and healthy!!

- Luna

[firewoodfigs]

[another tangled/royai crossover, because of @annaleigh‘s incredible tangled/royai art 🥺 check out her art y’alls it’s incredible!! also completely self-indulgent young royai from me because it’s what we all need during a time like this]

-

She was certainly poised; the living epitome of good posture. Riza Hawkeye had a way of walking with all the dignity of a queen — back ramrod-straight, head thrown back and shoulders not slouching in the least — the way all snotty, snobbish aristocrats gallivanted around in the courtrooms and royal palaces. (Except she was nothing like them, of course.) 

Still, Riza’s discomfort was evident from the way she paused every now and then when she thought he wasn’t looking to ensure she wouldn’t trip over her unthinkably long, lustrous tresses. 

“Need a hand?” Roy asked at last. He’d been delaying the offer for far too long. In part because he didn’t want to incur her wrath somehow, but also because he didn’t want to interrupt her contented humming. 

“Hm?” Riza asked, turning to look at him quizzically. 

Roy gestured towards the field of tulips and candytufts behind her, which were now engulfed in a lake of gold. “Your… hair.” 

Riza said nothing, only pausing in her tracks to wrangle a branch that had gotten entangled in an endless stream of blonde locks. Roy bit back a chuckle at her stubbornness. Gently, he reached over and released the offensive thing from its misery before smoothing her hair out. God, her hair was even smoother than the silky, expensive dresses that his aunts’ employees wore —  

“Thank you,” she said primly, retracting from his touch like she’d been burnt. 

Embarrassment began to mottle her cheeks; a charming pink under the glorious summer sun. Immediately Roy backed away to give her space. Clearly all the time spent locked up in a tower, away from the general population had left her rather unaccustomed to human contact. She probably wasn’t very fond of being touched, either. (Roy himself, on the other hand, had grown up very tactile; smothered by the women in the cabaret who regarded him as a little brother and a makeshift plushie, so it was a habit that he had to consciously avoid.) 

Guilt bubbled its way up his throat. Roy sincerely hoped he hadn’t offended her by encroaching into her personal space uninvited. 

“Sorry,” he said, putting his hands up in a gesture of surrender. 

Eyes still averted, Riza shrugged. Then, quietly — so quietly that he might not have heard her if he weren’t devoting his full attention to her — she confessed, “I’m just… not used to it, that’s all.” 

Something like sympathy wormed its way into his heart. From it, a desire to show her what it meant to live — to truly live and be free — sprung, and Roy was overcome with a sudden urge to comfort her. To prove to her that there were people out there whom she could trust, whom she could rely upon without fearing that they’d stab her in the back any moment if she so much as looked away in the other direction. 

“That’s okay,” Roy reassured, giving her his most charming smile. “I should have asked. I’m sorry. But really, though — do you need help with that?” 

Riza frowned, suspicion dawning on her features as she finally looked up at him. “What do you have in mind?” 

His heart sank. But Roy ignored it, and instead focused on her. Her needs came before his own. 

“I could braid your hair for you, if you’d like. I think that could help keep it out of the way, make it a little easier for you. But only if you’re comfortable, of course. Don’t feel pressured to say yes. I won’t mind if you do. I just wanted to — um, I mean — “ oh God, he was rambling like an idiot — 

Her honeyed eyes crinkled in amusement, and Roy kicked himself mentally. Damn it. He was normally pretty suave and smooth with the ladies in the city, if he said so himself. Why did this have to be an exception to the norm? 

Still, Riza looked relieved. (Which was a relief to him, too.) The tension in her frame appeared to have dissipated somewhat, and the imperceptible nod she gave in his direction made his heart explode with joyous warmth. 

“Alright,” said Riza, though he could still see the uncertainty waging war within her. Her hands wrangled anxiously before finally coming to settle on her untamed hair. “Do you know how to tie a braid, though?” 

“I do,” Roy grinned, puffing his chest out proudly. “My sisters made sure I was well-trained in the art of hair braiding even before I turned twelve.” 

Riza laughed, presumably at the image of him getting forced to learn from and practice with the indomitable (and frankly insane) women in his household. 

“Okay,” and Roy set about to work immediately. He was quick to gather an assortment of flowers in his callused hands; some a shade of pink that matched her lips, others a white that gleamed like snowballs under the summer sun. Every now and then, his horse would let out a grunt of approval as Riza watched curiously and stroked his mane. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Getting ready. Here.” Roy showed her the fruits of his labour. “What do you think?” 

“They’re… pretty,” she offered, confused. 

Roy smiled reassuringly before settling himself down on the lush, wild grass and placed the flowers on his lap. 

“Come here,” he beckoned, gesturing to the space beside him. 

Hesitantly, Riza inched nearer, carrying the inhumane length of hair alongside her with herculean effort. 

Then she sat and waited. 

“You alright?” 

Riza inhaled deeply and nodded. “Yes. Go on.” 

Permission granted, Roy began combing through her golden locks gently, all the while making sure to maintain the respectable space that stood between them. This seemed to assuage her nerves somewhat, and Roy smiled. 

Once he’d made sure her hair was tangle-free, he said, “Okay. I’m going to start braiding now.” 

“I haven’t got all day,” she teased. 

Roy huffed in mock exasperation, but was more than happy to oblige. “Anything for you, Missy.” 

Slowly, he split her hair into three distinct portions and started weaving them into a braid with practiced ease. It look a long while, what with the seemingly unending amount of hair she had, but it was there — a series of twists and turns that was unmistakably, a braid. 

Riza nodded approvingly. A pinkish tint graced her cheeks once more. “That’s… impressive.” 

“Told you. You can trust me,” he grinned. “Now for the finishing touch.” 

Before she could so much as protest, Roy deftly inserted the flowers into her braid, alternating them in pinks and whites at the different intersections. Then he knelt beside her and arranged the rest of the flowers into a wreath. Roy made sure to work as quickly as he could, to avoid worsening the discomfort she must’ve felt at their close proximity.  

“There! All done,” Roy announced proudly. “Try standing up.” 

So Riza did. The braid fell to her ankles, no longer smothering and suffocating the generous array of flora and fauna around her. In the gentle, summer breeze, the edges of her dress billowed around her like an inverted lily. 

Riza smiled with all the contentment of someone who’d just unravelled all of life’s greatest mysteries. 

“Thank you. For this, I mean. And for… well, everything else up till now,” she said. Somehow the unexpected shyness made her all the more endearing. 

“You’re very welcome. Anytime, really,” Roy answered, equally abashed himself as he attempted to rub away the heat crawling up his neck.  

This time, her answering smile was brighter than the afternoon sun. 

[eleanorbloom]

When You’re Ready Ch. 15

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Mentions of emotional abuse, specially gaslighting. Angst and some cussing words.

A/N: Hello! It’s time to know more about Eleanor’s story!

I wanted to post a new chapter on Wednesday but I’ve been sick all wee so I wasn’t able to write as much as I wanted. I’m sorry if this chapter is a mess, I’ve been sleeping all day and only eating water biscuits (I’m hangyyyy), but at least the most important parts in this chapter are comprehensible and you can decide now if you want to kill me or not hehehe.

A/N2: If I had written this series only from Ethan’s POV there’s no doubt I would’ve called Exile, because the songs literally talks about him and how badly he deals with the fact that Eleanor moved on and she’s with someone else (Maria, I’m talking to you, your guess was absolutely right!).  However, in this chapter I used Taylor’s POV, but what Ethan feels can be definitely described with Justin Vernon’s  parts. Okay, I’ve been gushing about this song for weeks, but I can’t help it,  it’s so fucking angsty and I love it too much!

Okay, okay. Enjoy today’s chapter!

  Taglist @utterlyinevitable @binny1985 @shanzay44 @choicesficwriterscreations @laiba-the-person @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @lucy-268  @cinnamonspongecake @romewritingshop @bratzlahela @hermosaofraleighcarrera   @mercury84choices​

_______

Chapter 15: Exile

I think I’ve seen this film before

And I didn’t like the ending

You’re not my homeland anymore

So I’m leaving out the side door.

 I love you.

Those were the three words she always wanted to hear from him, but ironically, she heard them from Bryce first, the person she wasn’t in love with. And now that she finally heard them, it wasn’t like she imagined it at all.

None of the several situations she fantasized about in her mind could anticipate these mixed feelings.

It was relieving, but, somehow, it also felt strange, distant. 

Eleanor thought maybe she was afraid of being hurt again, that even if Ethan was offering her everything, and saying all the things she always wanted to hear, there was still a chance that in the end, he might hurt her, just like the many times he did before.

When she felt his skin, his hand over her lips, it brought her memories of their first kiss in Miami, the beginning of everything. The moment she started embracing the possibility of being with him, despite how forbidden it was because he was an attending and she was an intern. Before that moment, she would’ve never guessed Ethan wanted the same.

Then she was transported to the first night together when he finally managed to open up about his feelings for her. The night she thought it was the beginning for them. But it wasn’t.

His skin made her react as a reflex, like she was reliving those nights, making her want for more. He had just become the sweet person she had been waiting for. He was apologizing, assuming his mistake, and telling her that she loved her. Again. Like there was nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of. Like this time things would work. This time everything would be different.

But there was something wrong about that thought, but she wasn’t sure why.

So she kissed him, obeying her desires. She needed to remember how he felt. She had been holding back for so long that she felt like his words freed her, but the moment he placed his hands on her, everything faded. She froze up.

She woke up and realized where she was. Who she was. She wasn’t in one of her dreams, one of those moments she wanted so much to happen, where Ethan would confess, and they would kiss and be happy. And she wasn’t the woman who was dying to be with him

Things had changed. She had changed.

She wasn’t that woman anymore. The woman who dreamed that dream. Everything that she thought she wanted for so long, seemed to belong to someone else.

So she left as fast as he could. Something inside her was telling her that she had to run away, that she couldn’t keep with this. That it was wrong.

And now, walking outside her apartment, she was trying to understand why.

Why she was feeling so broken and guilty. And why that guilt was so familiar. Like she knew where it was coming from, but she was afraid of facing it.

A few minutes later, she slammed the door shut of her apartment, and ran straight to her bedroom, her breath ragging while tears streamed down her face. The guilt was growing and making her desperate.

“Eleanor is that you?”—She heard on the other side of the door.—“Can I come in?”

The sob didn’t let her speak until a few seconds later.

“Y… yes”

Aurora, wearing a gray and pink pajama, appeared behind the door, her brows furrowed in concern.

“Jesus, what happened?”—She asked, sprinting towards her when she noticed how agitated Eleanor was. She was red and her face shiny with tears.

“I…Fuck…”

It took her just a few moments to realize what was wrong.

“Eleanor, you’re having a panic attack, let me help you with your jacket.”

Aurora leaned toward her neck, zipped the jacket down, and then tugged it out.

“Do you want some water?”

Eleanor nodded.

After a few seconds, Aurora came back to her room and handed her a glass of water.

“There.”

Eleanor received the glass with both hands, trembling, and took a few sips. After a couple minute she felt how her heart started to beat at a more normal rate, the sobs had decreased, and she was able to think and talk with more clarity.

“Feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you, Aurora.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Eleanor hesitated. She didn’t know if Aurora suspected or knew anything about Ramsey and her, and if at this point would make sense to tell her. But she needed to talk to someone, she needed to get all out of her chest and understand why she was reacting like that, and she wouldn’t make Sienna come back from Donahue’s just to hear her misery.

“I… I don’t know if you know this but… Something happened between Ramsey and me in our first year.”

Aurora nodded silently, then added:

“I wasn’t sure, honestly. I had my suspicions because you were devastated after he went with the WHO to the Amazon, but I’m not a fan of snooping in other people’s lives, so I never asked.”

She gave her a humorless chuckle, wondering if the entire hospital noticed the shitty state she was in when he left. She knew she was pathetic in those weeks, but she had managed to forget it, all thanks to Bryce.

“Yes, well, we ended what we had the night before he left. And tonight, he told me he wants me back.”

“Aren’t you with Bryce?”

“Yes, I am, but the thing is…”

Eleanor explained the basics so Aurora could understand her dilemma. The agreement with Bryce, that it all started a little bit casual but after a few weeks things got pretty serious, because she started feeling things for Bryce, but she still loved Ethan, and Bryce knew all that.

“Are you saying… Bryce is with you even knowing you still love Ethan… and he will let you go if you choose to be with him?”

Aurora was shocked.

“Yes, pretty much.”

“This dude is insane, and a saint.”

“I know.”

“And why this has you this bad, this is not what you wanted? With, Ramsey, I mean.”

“That’s what I wanted at first. But then things with Bryce worked out better than I thought, so I truly wanted to be over Ethan, cause I got too hurt. But then I heard him saying all those things and I felt like he’s really going to change and do things right this time, and for a moment I considered that maybe things would work, but then I started feeling so bad, like guilty, like… like… Oh.”

Like someone used to make her feel years ago.

“What is it?”

“How stupid I’ve been.”

Even after all these years and that she swore to herself that she wouldn’t repeat the same pattern, she had done exactly that, and that night she had been about to do exactly that again, but luckily, she caught herself on time.

Eleanor took a breath. She hadn’t thought about it in years, let alone speak about it, and she didn’t know if she was ready to do it, considering how bad it made her react, but having Aurora by her side would make things a lot easier. It was something she needed to do to end the cycle.

“I had a boyfriend in Med School, Dylan.”—She started, trying to control her shaky voice— “He was a year older than me. At first, it was all good, he was cute, caring, and we shared a lot of goals, but then… he changed a lot. When he realized I was top of my class, he felt jealous, and he started diminishing me, telling me that I wasn’t spending enough time with him, that I wasn’t too committed to our relationship. What he was doing, was making me feel guilty for my success, just because he wasn’t as successful as I was.”

Aurora stared at her quietly, paying complete attention to what she was saying and prepared for any reaction that could trigger what she was about to say. She could sense it was a sensitive topic for Eleanor.

“After a while, I realized what was the problem. It wasn’t me, it was him. He was insecure and felt threatened by me, but he picked it on me. So instead of dumping him, I wanted to heal him, to show him that he couldn’t feel that way, that he was enough and all that. But it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t interested in healing and I got tired.”

She breathed heavily and then closed her eyes, large tears falling over her cheeks.

“We were more than a year like that, me asking for forgiveness for something he did, and then, when I was trying to heal him, it was him apologizing for tearing me apart and blame me for his failures. I stuck with him ‘cause I foolishly I believed I could heal him. I’ve always been like that, even with friendships, but with him, it reached toxic levels. He manipulated me so well that he made me believe I was the problem.”

She sobbed again, remembering the loneliness of those months, how he parted her from her friends and made her believe she was the problem, that she wasn’t trying enough for them. How at some point he made her believe she was selfish and she didn’t deserve anything, that she was lucky he still loved her.

“Until one day I opened my eyes with the help of some friends. They showed me all the horrible things he did to me, all the lies and manipulations. So I left him. I felt guilty for a long time, though. Thinking that I should’ve tried harder, but then when I saw all clearly, I let him go. And of course, after what I’d been through, it was really hard to trust in a man again. My next boyfriend was almost like a convenience, I was bored of casual hookups, so I started dating a guy just because I needed some stability, but I didn’t get involved much. But then I met Ethan and I couldn’t help but… Being involved with him. We had a strong connection. He understood me like no one just in a few weeks.”

And at that moment, remembering how it had been her story with Dylan, and how things developed with Ethan, it was evident for her that she had fallen in love with the idea of him. Because she didn’t know him at all. The only glimpses she got, were when he opened about Naveen, but she didn’t know him more than that. So she idealized the rest. She idealized him simply because he understood her, and she still believed at that moment that no one could love her. Dylan had branded her with fire.

“But then, when he acknowledged he had feelings for me, something stopped us from being together, and he pushed me away. I tried to make it work, but he thought our relationship was impossible. He didn’t want to jeopardize my career, and that was more important than what he or I want. And somehow I understood it, but I knew there was more than that. And effectively, it was. He healed from that and now he wants to make it work”

Eleanor shook her head, kind of amused.

“After all the hell I lived, he wants me back, and somehow I have to do like nothing happened. But I can’t. I won’t make the same mistake again. It would be like betraying myself, like coming back to my med school boyfriend.”

“I agree, this situation does seem a bit like what you lived with your ex-boyfriend.”

“Yeah, kinda. I’m not saying Ethan is like him, at least he didn’t do the emotional abuse this imbecile did to me, but he did hurt me, he hurt me before he left, when he left, he hurt me when he came back and acted like an asshole because I was with Bryce, and made me feel guilty for moving on. So, no, I can’t be with a person that made me feel so miserably, even if he didn’t do it consciously.”

After a few moments, Aurora slid an arm and pulled Eleanor towards her.

“I’m so sorry you had to live this, Ellie. I’m glad you could get out of that hell, and that you’re doing something for yourself now. Thank you for telling me.”

“Thank you for listening and helping me. I hadn’t thought about it in years. That’s why I reacted so badly.”

“It’s okay, I’m glad I was here to be for you.”

Eleanor pulled out and gave her a sad smile.

“And what about your feelings after this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you still love Ramsey? Because of what I understood, that’s the only thing that has parted you from Bryce.”

That was a whole different topic. But by this time, Eleanor already knew the answer: She wasn’t.

“I still have feelings for him, maybe I’ll never stop loving him in some way, but no, I’m not in love with him anymore.”

In the last months since he was back, she had been in love with the idea of him, and the person who could’ve wanted to know the real Ethan Ramsey, all healed and in love, didn’t exist anymore.

That person started to die the moment Eleanor looked into the golden eyes of the sweet and caring Bryce Lahela and told him she wanted to try with him. When she chose herself for once in her life.

And that person had died tonight when she opened her eyes and realized that she didn’t belong to him anymore. Ethan wasn’t her place anymore, he hadn’t been in a long time, but the illusion of him made her believe he was. And that illusion vanished with a simple kiss.

“And what about Bryce? Do you think things are gonna change after this?”

“I hope so. All this time I’ve wanted so bad to end this crap with Ramsey… But I never considered that maybe I’m still scared of what happened to me before. Like… I’ll live the same shit again, even if he has proved me enough that he would never hurt me.”

“I guess those scars take years to heal and is more difficult when you’ve been hurt again and so recently.”

“Yeah, it took me a couple of years to not think about it, and before now I had it completely blocked in my brain.”

“You know, I’m clear that you’re the only one who can decide this, but I think you have nothing to worry about with Bryce. I’m not a person who would stake my neck for anybody, but I can tell that he’s the one for you.”

“You really think so?”

“The way he looks at you, how he cares about you, how he treats you? God, yes, I’m sure. I’ve never seen a man so in love like him. He’s like a puppy with you.”

Eleanor chuckled, agreeing with Aurora.

“And the way your eyes shine with you’re with him? How happy you are? He makes me appreciate him even more just for the way he’s with you.”

“Awww, Aurora, that’s too cute”

“I’m just saying. I do hope you realize he’s the one. Maybe you’re completely in love, Eleanor, it’s just that you’ve been too afraid to assume it, and is understandable with all the hell you have lived.”

She nodded, thoughtfully.

“Perhaps.”

“In the meantime, you have to resolve this thing with Ramsey. After that’s settled, you’ll find out your answer.”

Aurora stood from the bed, and Eleanor followed suit.

“You’re right. First things first.”

“I’ll leave you to it, do you think you’ll be okay by yourself?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”—She replied, smiling, but after a few seconds, it faded.—“You’re not mad at me for what happened this afternoon?”

“No, are you?”

“No, of course not. I’m actually sorry for what happened. I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”

“I should’ve imagined Tobias would have second intentions.”

“Well, that’s how things are now, but we are good, right?”

“Absolutely.”

“Come here.”

Eleanor wrapped her arms around Aurora’s back and held her tightly.

“Thank you, Aurora, I’m so happy to have you in my life.”

“I’m happy to have you in mine as well.”

*

An hour later, after tossing and turning in bed, she was standing in front of Ethan’s apartment, feeling a pit in her stomach. What she was about to do it wasn’t easy. To a man she had love, and to a man just a few hours ago had spilled out his feelings for her.

But it had to be done.

She knocked on the door, but no answer. After a minute, she rang the doorbell. A few seconds later, he opened. He was disheveled and confused. Still dressed. Eleanor assumed he had fallen asleep on the couch.

He looked surprised when he recognized her. It was pretty late.

She had imagined in her head that she would speak the very moment he would open the door, but she couldn’t.

How do you start something like this? What are the kindest words to put an end to this?

He turned to her once the door was closed.

“It’s over, Ethan”

His eyes widened, but it was hard to know what he was feeling.

“W… What do you mean?”—He asked after a few seconds.

“Us. I… I’m not in love with you anymore.”

She saw how his world fell apart the moment her words reached his ears. It took him a while to placate his feelings, the sadness that was invading him.

“Can I ask why? What happened?”

"I'll never be able to forgive what you did. You hurt me too many times and I can’t let myself come back where I was so hurt. My love is not unconditional as yours, you made me realize that.”

He nodded.

“I’m sorry if somehow I made you believe we still had a chance, but the truth is… we never had. From the beginning. That day in your car, when you asked me if it was too late, I should’ve said that it was, but a part of me, part of me that doesn’t exist anymore, forced me to open the door. But the door has been closed since you left, since you pushed me away, and tonight when you said all those things, I could see it clearly.”

“I understand. Thank you for your honesty.”

“I know it’s not the most appropriate hour, but I needed to finish this as soon as possible. I’m sorry it had to be this way.”

“Eleanor, you have nothing to apologize for. It was my fault. You gave everything you had to make it work, and I ruined it. I missed my chance, I missed the one hundred chances you gave me. I’m the one in debt with you.”

Eleanor gave him a sad smile when she saw his eyes full of tears. She would’ve never imagined Ethan would exposer himself that way. But she was grateful for finally seeing some honesty in his feelings.

“You were brave, after all.”

“I thought I made a mistake saying all those things.”

“No, it was the right thing. I’m glad I could finally know what you feel about me. It was the least I deserved, don’t you think?”

Eleanor wiped the tears falling from his sky-blue eyes.

“Of course. I wish it could’ve been sooner, and that I hadn’t hurt you this bad. But that’s how things are. It was my mistake.”

He took her hand on his before she could pull them away, and he closed his eyes, losing himself in her touch.

It broke her seeing this way. But there was nothing she could do now.

He wasn’t ready when she was, and now that he was, she would never be ready for him. She was hoping to be ready for someone else.

She pulled away gently, and he opened his eyes, looking at her, shattered.

“I know this will be awkward for a while, but I really hope we can be friends someday. When we both heal. I don’t wanna lose you.”

He cleared his throat before speaking. His lips were quivering.

“That would be nice.”

He gave her the saddest smile she had ever seen.

“Goodnight, Ethan.”

It was a bittersweet goodbye.

“Goodnight, Eleanor.”

 When she came back to the open air, she breathed deeply. She felt lighter, happier, and somehow a lot more secure about her life than ever before.

She checked her cellphone and realized it was 3.35. There was no point in going home and grab a poor hour of sleep, so she requested an Uber to the hospital instead. Once there, she took a shower, changed into clean scrubs, and then she went to the on-call room and to take a nap until there was time to do rounds.

It was a busy morning, and she barely had the time to check on her friends or Bryce. She wanted to see him. He needed to know what had happened, but he would be in surgery all day, so she’d have to wait until the evening.

Her necessity for him increased critic levels when Eleanor found out Kyra’s cancer was worsening. She texted him to meet when he had some spare time, but he didn’t reply to her messages all day.

The afternoon went in a blur with her visit to Mass Kenmore to convince Senator Farrugia of going to Edenbrook to get treated.

By the end of her shift, she was exhausted. The fact that she only slept an hour in the on-call room was clearly manifesting.

She was about to go home with her hopes down when her pager went off. Bryce hadn’t responded to her messages and she had the feeling that he was hurt because she went to have dinner with Ethan. She couldn’t blame him.

When she entered Kyra’s room, he was sitting by her side, both laughing at each other’s banters.

Eleanor's eyes lightened when she saw him, but when he turned to her, she could decipher he wasn’t feeling the same, as his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

When Kyra told her Bryce would do a procedure that could save her life, her stomach fluttered violently. If she already admired Bryce for how talented he was, Eleanor felt her chest was about to explode with that news. She was so proud she wanted to cry.

About fifteen minutes later, after talking about the procedure and encouraging Kyra for her decision, they both left the room.

“How have you been?”—She asked softly, once Bryce closed the door—“I’ve been trying to reach you all day.”

“Yeah, I know”—Bryce scratched the back of his head, tense.—“Has been a hectic day, that’s all.”

“Can we talk?”

His eyes betrayed him a bit, exposing his fear, but after a while, he managed to act nonchalant.

“Actually, I have no brains for nothing more than to drive home and sleep. I’m drained.”

“Oh. Of course. Send Keiki a kiss for me, okay?”

“Sure.”

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left.

Eleanor stared at him walking down the hall, fighting the tears that wanted to come out of her eyes.

Of course, it hurt her that Bryce was distant. She knew she deserved it, but never thought it would be so damn painful.

But why?

It was her ego? Or the honest feeling of not wanting to lose him?

The next day wasn’t any different. She hadn’t had the chance to see him all day until she bumped into him  in her way to the atrium, before going to the interview with the Senator.

“I’m going to A.N.B Studios with Ethan, Senator Furriaga invited us.”—She announced, trying to obtain a smile from him.

“Look at you, two TV interviews in one day. Next month they’re gonna give you a segment in Good Morning America.”

He teased, but his smile wasn’t the usual, again. And she could tell he was putting an effort into talking to her.

“Bryce… We need to talk. I know you’re crossed with me.”

He nodded imperceptibly.

“Yeah, I know we need to talk, but not now, and not tonight, at least. I have to focus on Kyra’s surgery tomorrow and I need time to study and my mind clear.”

He evidently was thinking the worse about their conversation, but Eleanor didn’t want to push him. He had every right to put distance between in a moment like that. Kyra’s surgery was complex, and she would respect the time and distance he was asking her.

“Of course, whatever you need.—She responded.

“Good luck with that interview.”

He was about to leave when she took him by the wrist.

“Could you give me a kiss, at least?”

Her words were soft and almost imploring, so were her eyes.

She tried her best to hide how she was feeling. How scared she was at the possibility that he hurt him so badly that he would push her away. She didn’t want this. She’d always been scared of this and finally was seeing the consequences of her actions.

Bryce gave her a half-smile and leaned to kiss her on the lips, chastely.

“Thank you.”

“See ya, Elle.”

And he left without looking back.

Eleanor continued her way to the atrium, thinking about Bryce and how scared he was. He was protecting himself. Eleanor knew he was just preparing himself for the worst, and trying to be ready to be on his own again.

But what she did not know, was the magnitude of his fears, insecurities, and his pain. Bryce never told her how bad he felt about all the Ethan thing, she just suspected. But it didn’t bother her. Since that moment she lost all fears. She realized she didn’t care what she had to face, or how hard it would be. She wanted to know every part of him, even the tough ones, and she would fight for him, to show him he has nothing to be scared of. 

Suddenly she saw herself standing in Leland Bloom’s yacht, thinking about the level of depth and understanding she had reached with Bryce, and that she hadn’t reached with anyone else.

And Eleanor knew in that moment that if Bryce decides one day to open the door to his fears and traumas, Eleanor would dive in, no matter what she might find in the depths. She wanted to know all his fears, his pains, insecurities, joys, and miseries. All the things that made him the man he was today, the man she loved. 

When she knew about Keiki and his family, she didn’t even have to think about it, she wanted to help him. She wanted to be with him and for him. Support him, accompanying him.

When they stopped talking for days, she understood he was hurt and scared, and she respected his space and time.

There was never anguish and desperation. He missed him, yes. But she knew he needed space, and that on time, they would talk through things. And they did. 

Eleanor smiled, noticing how different things were with Bryce, compared to what she had lived in pasts relationships. He had a way to always bring the best of her even in worst situations, just like now. Because she wasn’t desperate to fix things between them. She wanted to solve it and make it work out. And she didn't want to heal him. 

And, if she was honest, with him everything was different.

From the fact that he never hid his feelings, and he was always upfront from the beginning.

In the way she was in his first priorities, and he always managed to find the time to be with her, even if it were five minutes, or just to say hi or steal her a kiss.

In the way how protective and caring he was with Keiki, and how much effort he was putting in become a better person to give Keiki everything their parents hadn’t given her, and him either.

In the way he looked at her, always with love and tenderness, and his words always conveyed what he was feeling for her. Love and admiration. Passion and understanding.

In the way he respected her space, her times, her feelings and insecurities, and how he offered everything just to show her what happiness was, assuming that maybe he wouldn’t be the one in the end.

In the way he showed her what real love was, without hurting, without all the misconceptions she had thanks to past experiences. 

That and in a million ways more. All of them leading to the same conclusion:

Bryce Lahela was exceptional. Unique. The person who had made her the happiest in her whole life. And she wanted to be with him, through thick and thin, forever. Grow together, get to know each other, protect and support each other.

And she wanted to love him. God, she wanted to love him deeply and unconditionally. She wanted to make him happy, and give him everything he had given to her and more. 

A warm and evolving feeling coursed through her body, with the big and final realization. A revelation, something she snesed that had been inside her for a while, but only today she was abe to see it.

She was in love with him.

Eleanor had fallen for Bryce at last.

____

[the-dc-killjoy]

4x12 - Old Souls

Wynonna Earp's over. I'll do pretty much anything to get another season, but shows (not that I think that this show could ever get to that point. id still love WE even if it turned into whatever Grey's Anatomy's doing rn) shouldn't overstay their welcome. If this is the end, than it was a damn fine ending!

-

The cute.

I've been watching Martina sing since I was 11 years old, and it still puts a smile on my face. Rachel was iconic as always, and I'm gonna miss the most recent addition to the Earp family. I can just imagine the chaos of her, her not really but kind of boyfriend, and Randy Nedley on a tiny boat in the middle of nowhere. Poor Nedley. Let's hope Chrissy remains the only one of his many daughter figures to catch mono.

Speaking of mononucleosis- that's such an awful transition that i'm keeping it, I believe that Wayhaught has officially christened the entire homestead. Bedroom, The Stairs, kitchen floor, barn- short of just going to pound town (i'm not getting any better with sex references tonight. am i) in a patch of grass outside, they've got everything covered. Or nothing covered if you know what i mean. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Am I getting better now?

-

The random.

Nedley walking Nicole down the isle, Wynonna walking Waverly down the isle, Doc being Waverly's best man, and Wynonna being Nicole's best friend (no she will not take a secondary title. best friend will go on her tombstone)- sigh, i'm so gay. i can't really explain what that has to do with these circumstances, but i am and this makes me happy. Rachel and Nedley (and Billy was there somewhere right?) being the only people in attendance made this the perfect pandemic wedding even though there wasn't actually a pandemic in Earp land. I was the living embodiment of the pleading face emoji when they panned over the chairs. Doll's chair hurt me. like deeply. like i'm still suffering. there aren't words. fuck, i miss him.

On a lighter note, Waverly said fuck (like eight times)!!! She technically said it already, but chainsmoking-angelic possession doesn't count, right?

I'm glad that Jeremy has this new thing with Damon, but I kinda wish things had worked out with him and Robin. He officiated a wedding, got promoted, and got a handsome date in one afternoon, so I can't be too sad about his adorable self.

Charlotte Sullivan, the jilted dress shop owner/witch, played one of the earliest (in my knowledge at least. this show was my brother's thing not mine) representation of a bi woman in Canadian media. I don't know too much about her Rookie Blue character, but if you can have tolerated the will-they-wont-they, end of the world romance of the main character's kinda mediocre relationships for a couple more seasons, I'm sure you'll find out! By the nature of Canada having 16.87 actors in total, I tend to see a lot of overlap, and I have to infodump about that somewhere. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Earping callbacks! Wynonna's truck, her motorcycle, the bullet proof vest, Nedley and Nicole's father-daughter thing, Waverly never saying the f-word (and subverting that), i'm all in, even Rachel always being stuck with juice while the adults are drinking- perfect! We had a little bit of the usual supernatural insanity, but this episode was wall to wall fanservice, and it was perfectly in-character fanservice. That's the way to go! It didn't feel forced or awkward and the edited mailbox will make me tear up on rewatch

-

The relationship. (aka i wanna talk about wyndoc and had no outline when i started this thing)

The Wyndoc goodbye was beautiful. I'm not into the whole you need one person to complete you kinda thing, but the implication that it didn't have to be romantic (implying that Wynonna's person was Waverly) was great. I felt that the scene worked perfectly, and might have been fine leaving it there if there was another season clearly on the horizon. With the fact that this was the series finale (i sighed so hard typing that. my poor lungs), I'm glad that they got their own happy ending.

-

The analysis.

Nicole's and Wynonna's as individual characters mirror each other in so many ways, but I'm just gonna wax poetic about one: their relationship with the GRT. Wynonna was hurt by the town, badly. She grew up with a steady stream of shitty adults and a few who told her to shake the demons out of her head and embraced the tough love mantra. It made a lot of sense that she left as an adult. Waverly was most likely the only reason she didn't skip town before that.

Nicole had a negative integer of adult role models in her life, with the murdered aunt and uncle and the whatever-the-fuck her parents were trying to be. Sure, a little trip to the Ghost River Triangle left her with trauma that she spent a lifetime repressing, but what's a little surviving a massacre under the six year old girl bridge. Am I right?

In their early lives, these characters had nothing but negative experiences in the aptly named town of Purgatory. Wynonna was drawn back into town by Curtis' letter just in time for her 27th birthday, and Nedley applied for Nicole to start working as a cop. Neither of them directly chose to come back to the Ghost River Triangle, but both of them did have the final say.

Wynonna decided pretty early on that she was going to stay no matter what. She already abandoned her sister once. How could she do it again with all of these monsters lurking in the shadows. As time went on, her circle of people expanded, but Waverly has always been the person that fight through hell and high water for. Even when fighting wasn't necessary, when it hurt her much more than it helped anything, she did it anyways because it was the only thing she could do to protect her sister. Wynonna thought it was the only thing she could do at all. This entire season, she's been fighting a war with herself, and her leaving, Waverly telling her that it was okay to leave, was the first time that took a break, took a breath since she arrived in Purgatory on her 27th birthday. Her child and the man she loves are out in the world, but she will be back with them at her side. Maybe after a quick road trip, maybe after a few years, but she will be back.

Nicole spent a majority of season 1 and 2 feeling like an outsider. Season 3 came with the realization that these people were her family and the Ghost River Triangle was her home. Early season 4 kinda shat all over that, oops. The rest of this season has been her finding her footing again. Nicole was a wandering soul, but she voluntarily staked herself to the land, vowing to protect it and the people within its borders for the rest of her life without the ability to leave, and she doesn't regret it. Her wife, her family, her people are all in this one not-so-sleepy Canadian town.

Nicole found her place, after a lifetime of searching, and Wynonna left, temporarily, after a lifetime of feeling trapped. They might seem like opposites, but both women call the same place home.

-

Originally, I watched this show was to cope with the ending of Agents of SHIELD (which I kind of used to cope with the ending of Killjoys, which featured Emily Andras as a writer in season 1 and has near identical humor, found family, and a healthy serving of gay and wow this is turning into a bit of advertisement isn't it), but it wormed its way into my heart. I've never quite seen a show like this. Never seemed interested in a western, even a sci-fi western. Never saw the gay couple reach OTP status both in fandom and canon. I've never seen so many fan conventions dedicated to just one show. I usually stay for just one character (and Wynonna has become one of my all time favorite characters), but I find myself connecting with so many of the beautiful people being brought to life on my screen. Wynonna, Waverly, Nicole, Rachel, Dolls, Jeremy, Doc, Nedley and so many other hilarious and heartbreaking characters make this show, and every single human who played a part in this self-proclaimed shitshow deserves a round of applause and a swig of whiskey.

The end.

[radramblog]

Ultimate^2

Super Smash Brothers Ultimate has finally unveiled its final DLC character, with reactions ranging fully across the spectrum. Hot takes abound.

I mean, statistically, just about every possible opinion is going to be represented. There were at least 500,000 people watching the reveal stream, and that’s not including those viewing through restreams. That’s insane for a trailer of any kind, let alone for a console-exclusive video game DLC.

Now that it’s been like… a day and a bit, I think most of the spciest takes have probably been made, which is the perfect time for me to chip in with my own milder opinion. More of a butter chicken, really.

(no images in this one i’m lazy tonight)

I figure I’m this late already, might as well drop some notes on the other ones first.

Piranha Plant was kind of the definition of an unexpected pick. Not only was it from an already well-represented franchise, being fucking Mario, it’s also just…not a character. As such it makes an odd choice for a DLC fighter…except for the part where it was free. If you owned the game in its first month. And frankly, I don’t think people would have been happy if it wasn’t. As it is, though, it’s a perfectly fine character- surprisingly cute, actually.

I’m unsurprised about Joker’s inclusion. With how huge Persona 5 became in both Japan and the west, capitalizing on it to make a shitload of money makes perfect sense. The character plays well enough, though the meter gimmick was kind of a daunting sign of things to come. All that in mind, though, the most surprising thing about Joker being in the game is that they still haven’t put P5 on the Switch. Atlus please.

Hero and Banjo/Kazooie were announced on the same night, and I distinctly recall someone saying that this was one for the Japanese audience and one for the Americans. I mean, I’ve never played Dragon Quest, so I guess I fell into the latter? Both series have a long, well-regarded pedigree (Banjo’s lack of recent offerings notwithstanding), so both arguably deserve their respective positions. Hero is the much more notable character gameplaywise, though, with the incredibly complex mana and spellcasting mechanics. Complaints about RNG in Smash aren’t completely unfounded- though it has existed in the past in the form of, say, Luigi’s misfiring side-B- but I know a lot of people think Hero took it too far. If I’m honest, though, the weirdest thing is just having Akira Toriyama-ass 3D models in the game. Banjo’s gameplay is…awkward. The kit is kind of a mess, but at least the gimmicks weren’t going too hard, you know?

Next was Terry, perhaps the most obscure character on the entire list in 2021. I actually really like Terry in this game- while he’s still trying to emulate a similar feel to Ryu/Ken, the difference feels more natural, if that makes sense. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really devoted significant time to them, but Terry’s kit feels easier to work within than the Shotos when going between characters.

Finally for the first Pass, we had Byleth. I think it’s for the best that they announced the second Fighter’s Pass before this released, because if both 4 and Ultimate had ended their run on Fire Emblem DLCs then people would have been pissed. I mean, people were already pissed, but like…moreso. As someone who has played Three Houses, I do think the game is worth celebrating, but having yet another Fire Emblem Protagonist (read: basically a blank slate) in the game over all the substantially more interesting characters 3H has to offer is just really frustrating. Also the final smash looks like dogshit, like FE3H has overall worse animations than Smash for obvious reasons but I’m pretty sure this attack looked better the first time around.

FP2 opened with Min Min, which brings ARMS to the table. ARMS. The only first-party fighting game Nintendo has outside of Smash, so it looks a bit less weird next to everything else but…come on, man. I think this was the most confusing pick of all of them- the game came out in 2017, and having Min Min in Smash would serve as promotion for a sequel…which hasn’t been announced. There was a graphic novel in the works, but it was cancelled earlier this year. Oops? At least the stage was fun.

As much as playing them is awkward and complex, the Minecraft addition was fitting. Only the best-selling game around. I think people weren’t sure if Microsoft would go for it, but they let us have Banjo, so sure. I’m mostly just annoyed that they couldn’t get any of the songs from the actual game in there- like, you got one in from the fucking mobile game, but you couldn’t just get C418 on the phone?

Sephiroth is definitely one of the hype-ier releases from this pass. The character is iconic, as is his theme and his home game. I’ve never played any Final Fantasy game, but I can still respect the name. Once I remember how to spell it. The whole bossfight aspect to his release was also quite cool, while it lasted.

On the other hand, I have no love for Pyra nor Mythra. There’s so much wrong with these ones, frankly. They’re another swordy character, immediately following Sephiroth too, and they go back on Smash’s very deliberate decision to split characters like Zelda/Sheik and Samus/ZSS up (Yes I know Pokemon Trainer does the same thing but I have a lot more leniency for them). Add in their being from a JRPG much less well-known or remembered than the previous couple characters and the designs being…questionable, I have a big issue with the whole thing. This was also around when I kinda stopped playing the game in general, and they definitely didn’t help pull me back in.

Kazuya might have, though. With the exception of him and Sephiroth, all the characters from the Fighter’s Passes were pretty much protagonist-types, but this motherfucker pulses with the essence of bad guy. What I’m saying is that he’s fucking cool, and while he’s ludicrously complex, that makes perfect sense since…I mean just look at the combo lists from Tekken 7. His inclusion also kinda rounds out the list of biggest fighting game franchises out there being rep’d in the game, though I imagine now I’m going to have stans from Mortal Kombat or whatever on my back. They’re not going to put a fatality-capable character in Smash, guys!

Finally, this rounds us around to the original point of this article. Let’s talk about Sora. And by that I mean…I don’t really have a huge amount to say about him. Kingdom Hearts is a franchise that completely passed me by growing up, and I don’t think I have the time or energy to devote to it now. I’m sure it’s good, people seemed really excited for him to be in the game so they have to have gotten that love from somewhere, but I don’t share that feeling.

That’s not to say that I don’t think he deserves a slot. The idea of “deserving a slot” in Smash Bros is kind of an odd concept, even though it’s come up a lot so far this post. But a slot in this roster isn’t just a place in a popular fighting game, because at this point, Smash is kind of a museum of (mostly Nintendo) games- and so having representation is a forever acknowledgment that the franchise is, or has been, an icon to so many. Kingdom Hearts, to my knowledge, has 100% earned that position, and so Sora getting to be playable here makes perfect sense. He wasn’t my pick (Touhou representation never I guess), but I’m happy for those who wanted him.

As far as the actual gameplay looks, he reads like a character that kept in mind what people didn’t like about Hero when he released. It’s another sword-based character, which I think at this point speaks more about the demographic of video game characters than it does about Smash. But I appreciate that the Magic Bullshit is toned down, and that it’s also his only real gimmick (The 3-hit combo feature is A Thing, but other characters e.g. Bayonetta have already done that, so whatever). His recovery potential looks patently absurd- like he just gets Pikachu/Pichu’s Up-B as a Side-B that can also be chained with his actual Up-B? This guy better be light as hell or he’s going to be super hard to take out. I dunno, I think he looks solidly fun enough- more dynamic and aerial than the other swordfighters, at least- and that’s good enough for me.

And I guess that marks the end of Smash Ultimate. Not with a bang, but with a key…dude. It’s been a very solid run, the game managing to keep itself fresh across several years of development, even as other games have risen and fallen. Smash is kind of forever at this point, I think, though the finality of Ultimate’s ultimate character implies that this particular iteration may be coming to its end. And seeing as it is always one Smash per console, I wouldn’t be shocked if the Switch itself was nearing its endgame as well.

Okay but also it’s pretty funny how they heavily censored everything Disney out of Sora’s DLC except for that little Mickey charm on the trailer, like how much must that one shot have cost them, was it even remotely worth it, I don’t know but I kinda want to

[pretend-writer]

Down Below (Chapter 67)

Summary: After being sent down on Earth with the other prisoners from the Ark, Y/N Reyes faces series of events and learns about survival. With new things happening around her, she is now starting a new chapter in her life.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, John Murphy x reader, Raven Reyes x sister!reader

Word Count: 2.6k words

Warning: mention of death, mention of violence, swearing

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

It was hard to believe in second chances after all I’ve done down at the bunker. Despite telling myself over the past few years that what I did was for Wonkru and to support Octavia, I knew in my heart that it was a shitty thing to do.

But here I stood next to Bellamy as we looked out the window of Eligius IV, staring at our possible new home that Monty researched for us all these years we were in cryo sleep.

‘Monty did all of this... for us...’ Bellamy mumbled to himself, looking at the new planet in awe. ‘This...’

‘This is amazing.’ The words slipped out of my mouth, enjoying the beautiful view we had from up this ship. Who would’ve known that Earth wasn’t the only livable place in the universe? By the way it seemed, the planet full of green life, it was habitable for humans. But we wouldn't know for sure until we get to the ground.

‘Yeah, I’m really excited actually. I don’t know a life outside this ship.’ Jordan grinned widely, ‘Also, it’s nice meeting you two finally. Monty and Harper talked a lot about you guys.’

It was crazy to think that Monty and Harper had a child, but it was more insane to think that they were both gone. Instead of going to cryo, they’ve decided to live the rest of their lives together.

They had their own family, finally had a life away from war and lived in peace. Now that I think about it, it sounded so beautiful. I knew that Monty and Harper were happy together, they deserved all of that and more.

‘Y/N, before I log off from my final video...’ Monty smiled through the camera, ‘I want to thank you for taking care of Jasper. I always wonder if I tried hard enough, he’d still be with us today. Because of everything you’ve done for him, I know that all that happened at the bunker wasn’t the real you, I truly believe that. Even though you did scare me.’

‘Throughout the times from when we landed on Earth to now, you’ve always done what’s best for everyone. That’s all that matters in the end. I hope that on this planet, we can all do better and look out for each other.’ Monty smiled one last time, ‘I believe in you guys. May we meet again.’

‘May we meet again.’ Bellamy and I whispered as Monty logged out of the video. The tears streamed down my face, not being able to process that Monty wasn't with us anymore.

He was the one that gave me hope; after dealing with Mount Weather, Monty was the one that made me realize that I had to push through to be an asset again. He pulled me out of a dark place that I never thought I'd ever leave. He even realize that Skafaiya had changed, that I was being better.

If it wasn't for him, reassuring that I can do better I would of never realized what I've become and all that bad that I've done. I should be thanking him for that, I wish I thanked him before we parted ways.

'Who else should I wake up?' Jordan asked sweetly. 'My dad programmed cryo to wake us up but not the others.'

My dad. Wow I could never get used to that, I thought to myself. I wish I was able to congratulate Monty and Harper, except it happened a hundred years ago.

'We can't wake everyone, it'll be chaotic. We can get the people who can go down and help us search around. Starting with Shaw, the pilot.' Bellamy nodded, he turned to me and flashed a smile.

I shrugged, not really in the mood to talk to him. After what Raven had told me about Bellamy and Echo, I didn't know if I was able to stand him. 'Yeah. Okay. Sounds good.'

'You okay, Reyes?' Bellamy reached for me to hold his hand, except I took a step back. He cocked his head, confused. Last time I saw him, we were in good terms and wanted to start over again. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing.' I avoided his eye contact as I left the room. Bellamy followed me into the cryo room, not saying a word as he tried to give me space.

I'd rather not wait and instead, tell him the whole truth about what I knew about The Ring. The problem was the fact that he was acting as if nothing happened, as if he didn't kiss another girl while he was in space. Bellamy made me feel bad about the bunker when the fact was that he was hiding things from his at-the-time girlfriend.

As I worked the cryo machine, I woke up the people we needed to venture down with on the new planet. Each person popped out of cryo, slowly waking up as if they were just taking a short nap.

'No, not her.' Bellamy rested his hand on mine, stopping me from pressing the button. 'We can't wake Octavia up.'

'Why not? Are you still scared of her?'

'If someone is already living on this planet, we don't want Blodreina fucking everything up.'

'Well, if someone is actually down there and if they happen to be savages, don't we need someone who can fight?' Murphy walked towards us, giving me a hug from the side. 'Just saying.'

Bellamy rolled his eyes, didn't know if it was from John being close to me or the fact that he was told what to do about his sister. 'I'm not taking that risk. I'm sure we will be fine ourselves.'

'Alright, you're the boss.' John dropped the conversation, quickly turning to me. 'Can I talk to you, Y/N?'

'Yeah, of course.' I nodded, smiling at him before he walked away.

In the corner of my eyes, I saw Bellamy staring at me. I could tell that he was confused, maybe a bit jealous too. With all that's happened, I didn't know whether to feel bad or let him be. Either way, I left the room.

Following Murphy out of the cryo room, he led me to the hallway. 'I missed you. Even though it feels like I just saw you 10 minutes ago.'

I giggled, feeling butterflies like I did when I kissed him before we headed to cryo sleep. 'To be fair, it's been over hundred years.'

'And yet, your shot wound hasn't healed.' John pointed at my leg, 'Saw you limping earlier.'

'Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm always fine.' I smiled. Wanting to get everything out the way, I decided to talk to him about the obvious topic we had to discuss. 'I haven't told Bellamy by the way.'

He nodded, 'I figured. It's okay, there's no need to rush it.'

'But I feel bad, I don't want it to be a secret or anything.'

'Don't feel bad because whatever we have, it's worth it. I don't mind the mystery either. Besides, sneaking around is kind of a turn on.'

This feeling I had for him felt so right, so nostalgic; felt way better than feeling pressured by Bellamy to be different and to feel bad about who I was. I didn't have to pretend with John, we knew each other majority of our lives and he understood what I've been through.

What I didn't understand was why all this time, Bellamy guilted me about the years I spent in the bunker when he had secrets he was keeping from me.

Jackson suddenly rushed towards me and Murphy, looking at me as if he was very stressed. 'Jackson, what's wrong?'

'We're prepping Kane for surgery. He's awake and somewhat stable for now but-' He paused, I could tell he was scared of my reaction.

'What?'

'Kane wants to see you.'

My heart dropped, not expecting to see Marcus at all. Last time I saw him, he was unconscious and when I spoke my final words to him back at Polis, I said some pretty mean stuff.

'Can I just see him after surgery?'

'Bellamy is preparing with Clarke to go check out the new planet and he told me you're going with. Also with Kane's condition, we're afraid he might not make it.'

'You should go see him, Y/N.' John tapped my arm, 'I can come with you if you'd like.'

Marcus' condition? How bad was his injuries? I knew that one of Abby's patients attacked him but I didn't know it was this critical. No matter how much pain he brought me after all the betrayals, I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him.

'I'll be okay.' I faked a smile to John, but instantly he knew I was lying.

He didn't push it though, instead he nodded in return. 'Let me know if you need me.'

'Thank you, John.' I said before I followed Jackson into a room. Raven, Abby and Bellamy looked up as the door opened for Jackson and I.

'What is she doing here?' Abby growled, staring at me as if I came to kill Marcus myself. 'She's going to trigger him and make his condition worse than it already is.'

'Kane personally asked for her. I think he has a right to see her, Abby.' Jackson replied back, 'We should give them some privacy.'

Raven nodded, 'I agree. We'll be right outside if you need us Y/N.'

'Thanks.' Raven and Jackson left the room, Abby still glaring at me as she stood next to Kane laying on the bed.

'I'm not going anywhere Y/N. I don't trust you for-'

'It's okay Abby. Give us some space, I need to speak to her.' Marcus spoke up, putting his hand on hers. 'We will be fine.'

Abby huffed as she headed to the door. 'If anything happens to him, it's on you.'

Bellamy looked at me with sad eyes, I guess he understood my situation with me and Marcus after I told him before he got into the fighting pit; sorry flushed across his face.

He reached for my hand but I quickly swept it away, I didn't even mean to do it. 'I-I want to be alone with him if that's okay, Bellamy?'

'Ah. Sure.' Bellamy whispered, scratching his temple as he left the room.

I slowly walked over to Marcus' bed, holding my breath. I didn't know what to say or what to feel after everything that had happened.

'How are you?' He whispered, not being able to speak loudly. The patient had stabbed Marcus on his neck, causing him to lose a lot of blood.

'I should be the one asking you that.' The bloody bandage on his neck scared me a little, I've never seen him so helpless.

'Physically, I can tolerate this pain but emotionally I'm not okay.' Marcus' voice cracked, 'I'm sorry for what I did to you.'

'What are you sorry about exactly?' I didn't mean to sound petty, I genuinely needed to know if I was ready to forgive him. It hurt that someone I love so much turned his back on me, but it was hard to keep hating him also.

Marcus paused, carefully turning his head toward me. His eyes started to water and he lightly whimpered. 'About everything, monkey.'

I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold my tears in. It made me feel sad for him, but for what? He betrayed me not once but twice; The first time in the bunker after he never believed that Abby blackmailed me and when he turned against Wonkru to work with Diyoza.

His betrayal made me angry but it made me even more upset at myself for still caring for him. Just like he told me at the fighting pit, I tried to stop him for a reason. And that reason was that no matter how much pain he put me through, I cared for him.

'You know, Octavia came to me and told me what happened when the Dark Year began. That Abby had told you to shoot those people. I didn't want to believe that someone I love did those things to you. I also couldn't believe what I saw when you shot and killed Wonkru.'

'But you chose her over me, even when I came up to you about Abby. All those years you took her side and left me in the dark, made it mine and Octavia's fault that the Dark Year happened.'

'I know... I know...' He breathed, 'I just didn't want to admit that Abby would do that. I saw what you did and I didn't wanted to believe that she was behind all of this.'

'So you were okay with blaming me and not her?'

'No, I wasn't. Not at all.' Marcus held his breath, gently wiping his tears that were streaming down his face. 'I was confused, I felt like everything was falling apart. I chose the easy way out, turned you into an enemy. I never even considered how you felt at all.'

It made me mad, knowing that he knew he was wrong for blaming everything on me. All I wanted was a hug, an "I love you" or just any support from him. 'You made my life a living hell.'

'I know Y/N, I know.' He reached for my hand, his hand shaking from weakness. 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.'

Leaning in closer to him, I felt his touch on my cheek. It's been a long time since I've been this close to Marcus. 'I was just a kid, I was scared what Abby was going to do to Octavia. She had a gun... and I knew her drug problems and I-'

'I'm sorry, Y/N.' Kane sobbed, caressing my cheek. 'I'm sorry.'

Gently and carefully, I wrapped my arms around Marcus. Making sure not to put my whole weight on him, I hugged him as I buried my face into his chest. Tears fell down my eyes, staining Marcus' shirt with tears which added to the blood stains from his injuries.

'I just wanted you to believe me, that's all I wanted.'

'I'm sorry.' Marcus repeated over and over again. 'I'm proud of you okay? For overcoming this without me, without Bellamy or your sister.'

'Octavia was with me. She helped me through everything.'

'Oh, baby.' He shook his head, holding me tightly as he can with all the strength he had left in him. 'Why did I do this to you again? I told myself after what happened at the Ark, I wouldn't ever do anything to lose you again... Why... why?'

Even though I hated that he took Abby's side, it must've been hard for him to see her in that way. I can never justify or maybe even forgive him when he turned his back on me but I can understand the confusion he must of had.

Everyone knows I was not innocent in this at all. Not at all, not even close.

'Thank you, for apologizing.' I mumbled into his chest, hugging him a little bit longer.

'No, thank you for even coming to talk to me.'

Taking a deep breath, I recollected all my thoughts. I tried to wipe my tears off of his shirt but it all sank in. 'Sorry your shirt is wet now.'

Marcus laughed lightly, shaking his head. 'Don't worry about it. I need a new one anyway.'

Placing my hand on his cheek, I wiped his tears. 'Don't leave me again.'

'I'll try not to.'

'No, promise me you won't. You can't leave me again. Not after all that's happened.'

He looked at me, smiled as he nodded. 'Okay. I promise Y/N.'

Nodding in return, I gave him a kiss on his forehead. 'For good luck.'

'Thank you, monkey.'

'May we meet again.'

Marcus smiled once again, 'I'll see you soon kiddo.'

[sxfterhearts]

28. [1:31 am]

➳ pairing: youngjae x reader

➳ genre/warnings: angst, idol!reader, non-idol!youngjae

➳ word count: 1,378 words

➳ summary: 28. “Drive safely,”

➳ author's note: thank you to lyss, @strxwberri-milk for recommending the song that inspired this timestamp! also, this is the first week of proper uni classes so i’m getting a bit busier, sorry for the absence! hope you’ll enjoy my 1st proper angst timestamp 💕

➳ music: call button by ars (youngjae) & j.praize, 1:31am by jaebeom & youngjae

//

He clutched his phone tightly within his clammy hands, utterly nervous. Youngjae stared at the device blankly, or more specifically at his call log. He stared. He stared and stared and stared. The clock hanging on his wall mocked him with its incessant ticking, and still, he stared.

He stared at the most recent phone number on his call log, a string of numerals he committed to memory two years ago. Youngjae stared and he wondered how a number that used to bring him so much joy and excitement was currently the root cause of his sorrows.

If it wasn't for the box full of your belongings sitting idly by his feet, would you have called?

He couldn't deny the tiny glimmer of hope that sparked within his chest when his phone screen lit up and displayed your number earlier that night. 

Were you finally ready to come back home to him? Were you getting tired of sleeping and waking up without a good morning or good night call? Were you constantly thinking of him too? Did you see his face every single time you close your eyes?

Because Youngjae was. He did. He was sick and tired of this so-called break in your relationship that you suggested a month ago. He had enough of the gigantic, gaping hole in his heart caused by your absence. He was alone, and he was over it.

When he closed his eyes and focussed hard enough, Youngjae could still picture the memories you shared. The classes he spent passing you little notes back and forth instead of learning about the history of musical composition. The afternoons spent lounging on the rooftop of Korea Arts High School, sharing a pair of earphones while humming softly. The nights spent sneaking you out of your trainee dorms for a cheat meal - a supper of tteokbokki with extra fishcakes, extra cheese and a container of mozzarella cheese balls. The secret messages and phone calls you made on your hidden phone as you hid under the covers of your bunk bed in the wee hours of the morning. Even the stolen, longing, loving glances you would exchange when he came to watch your performances. He could relive nearly every single moment.

But he also remembered the jealousy burning his insides when he watched your music show co-host act all lovey-dovey with you. He recollected the arguments about your close relationships with other male idols and trainees, stemming from his deep-rooted insecurities. He recalled the tears of betrayal and frustration streaming down his face when you finally said you needed a break from your relationship, simply because it was too much for you to handle. He could still feel how your harsh words stung and punched and stabbed his heart. It still hurt beyond belief.

A series of light knocks announced your awaited arrival. Youngjae laughed to himself, humourless and emotionless and cold. You knew the passcode to his apartment. There was a time when he was sure you memorised it, just like how he memorised your phone number. You used to punch the numbers in with glee and burst through the door, greeting him with a big hug.

Tonight was different. Youngjae trudged towards the front door, the box he carried in his arms dragging him down like a ton of bricks. A part of him didn't want to open the door. That way, he could continue living in this stagnant middle ground where your relationship neither ended or continued. At least that way he could grant himself the privilege of hope.

He opened the door to reveal a completely worn-out version of your usual bubbly self. You were sporting an oversized shirt and sweatpants, an outfit that used to consist of his own clothing. Your recently bleached hair, an eye-catching shade of platinum blonde, was thrown up into a lazy bun. Your stage makeup from the earlier music show recording hadn't been wiped off. Youngjae was reminded of how he used to wipe your makeup off when you were so fatigued from your performances. He missed doing these things for you. He missed his boyfriend duties. He missed the secret, low profile dates. He missed being close to you. He missed you.

"Youngjae, hey." You greeted so nonchalantly that a part of him broke. You weren't hurting like he did. "Sorry for coming at such a late hour, I just got off from the recording studio. I managed to borrow my manager's car and came here as soon as I was done. Is that all of it?" You asked, pointing at the cardboard box in his hands.

"Yeah, yes. Hey, Y/N. Um, do you need help with this? I could like, take it down to the car for you. It's a bit heavy."

You shook your head quickly, not wanting to prolong this conversation. "No, it's fine. I can take it. Here, pass it over." You reached out towards him, grabbing the box with ease.

Youngjae parted his lips to talk and you waited. To both of your dismay, no words came out of his mouth. For nearly ten seconds, the two of you stared at each other silently.

"Listen," you started, unable to bear the suffocating silence any longer.

"Actually, I meant to ask, how have you been? Are you doing well?" Youngjae forced the words out of his mouth. He regretted it the moment he saw your eyes avert his piercing, pleasing gaze.

"I'm alright, same old. Work's busier than ever." You paused, searching for the right words to let him down in the most painless way possible. 

He didn't know this, but you had felt disconnected from him for a long time now. It wasn't just because of your busy schedules. This job as an idol was demanding. Having been exposed to the cutthroat industry, both of you knew that very well. However, it wasn't the lack of quality time together that you couldn't deal with. It was Youngjae's possessiveness over you and his irrational jealousy of any male who came within thirty centimeters of you that drove you to the brink of insanity. You felt so restricted.

"Have you been eating enough? Your arms are thinner, it looks like you've lost weight." He began to ramble in a hurry, afraid that you would leave at any moment. "Maybe you should take more vitamins, you seem really tired and pale. You have to stay healthy. Don't get sick, okay? I know-"

"Youngjae," you cut him off. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry but I don't think I can continue with this; with us. This relationship has taken a huge toll on me and I'm sorry but it's best if we break up."

Those were the words. The dreaded words. Youngjae wanted to cover his hands over his ears so that he could drown out whatever you were saying. He didn't want to hear it at all. The two of you were going strong just a while ago, what happened? Everything changed so quickly. Or was there a gradual buildup? Did he miss the signs? Was he so blinded by his love for you that he completely missed the warning signs?

"Say something, Youngjae." You urged as the man in front of you fell into an internal conflict.

He snapped out of it at the sound of your voice. He hated to admit it but it was his favourite sound in the world. It could pull him out of the deepest, darkest depths. Ironically, it was now throwing him further into a bottomless pit. "Break up? Yeah. Yeah, okay." Youngjae forced himself to inhale a shaky breath. "Just, yeah. I hope you'll stay well."

"You too, Youngjae. There's someone out there who's better for you than me. I hope you find your happiness."

Inside, he refused to believe this to be true. You were his happiness. But he didn't say anything about that. Instead, he reminded you, "Keep doing what you love, and keep smiling. You know I'll always be here if you need me."

You nodded, unable to form a more appropriate response. 

Youngjae's vision began to blur. He knew he had to go before the waterworks started pouring uncontrollably. "Goodbye, Y/N. Drive safely."

He was still in love with you.

[davethot]

ALL 36 BARBIE MOVIES RANKED... WHY DID WE DO THIS

Please............. for the love of god view this list. Help us. We worked so fucking hard... and for what?

My roommate/best friend and I ( @kar-queen ) decided to watch ALL 36 BARBIE MOVIES and then rank them from worst to best. This adventure was inspired by the YouTube video by caitlovesdisney where she also ranked every single Barbie movie. However, we wanted to do our own list since some of her choices didn’t reflect what we thought. Her list was still so awesome and I respect anyone who decides to watch all these Barbie movies. We did this because of sheer curiosity and for the sake of very scientific research. 

We thought it would be fun at first. We really did. And it was? Kind of? Just, Jesus Christ. We can no longer see pink. I have night terrors about Barbie’s ugly ass animal friends. It truly was An Experience and has left us feeling dazed and like we never want to rank things ever again. We weren’t planning on posting a written out ranking of these movies anywhere (since we were just doing it for fun between us) but we wanted some physical evidence of our labor since this whole experience took 50 years off our lives. 

Under READMORE we will rank the 36 Barbie movies from WORST TO BEST (36 to 1). HOWEVER, THERE’S A TWIST. We are ALSO ranking them based on how GAY they were (and trust me, it yielded more results than you would originally think). That way we could both get through these movies by spicing things up a little bit. Hit readmore if you’re not a coward.

DISCLAIMER: Barbie is a staple for kids and overall teaches them that anyone (though more specifically girls/women) can do/be anything, which is extremely admirable. We have no issues with Barbie as a role model for kids and this list is all in good fun. However, we are going to point out things that either frustrated us or seemed downright harmful for kids to watch and take after. Clearly Mattel/Barbie has taken great and necessary steps to be more inclusive and progressive, especially in recent years compared to their older movies. 

ANOTHER MILD DISCLAIMER: In some of these movies Barbie’s character is not named Barbie, but we’re just going to call every main girl Barbie to keep things simple and easy. Just a warning. 

ANOTHER ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: This is going to be long since there are 36 movies. Even if you read all of this you will only feel a fraction of our pain. 

WITH THAT, LET’S START WITH SOME HOT GARBAGE. LET’S GO GAMERS. 

36. BARBIE IN PRINCESS POWER (2015)

Starting out with at the fucking bottom lads. My roommate and I were foaming at the fucking mouth watching this movie. It’s so hard to explain why this one pissed us off so much because it was nearly every single goddamn aspect of it. Here’s some bullet points to make this go by quickly and painlessly. 

- She’s a princess but then she ALSO gets super powers??? So she’s already extremely privileged, rich, and lives a comfortable lifestyle, but then she gets powers when A MAGICAL FAIRY BUTTERFLY KISSES HER CHEEK? LIKE LITERALLY JUST KISSES HER CHEEK AND BOOM SHE HAS POWERS. 

- Her powers are really fucking boring. All she has is super strength and she can fly. 

- She treats her best friends/side kicks like shit??? These poor girls (neither rich nor princesses) dote on this fucking girl and do everything for her behind the scenes while she sucks at being a super hero. It’s really infuriating. 

- There’s a side plot where she lets the fame get to her head. So, she starts snapping at everyone around her and just being overall a total bitch? Also her sister gets powers too and they like, fight over this said attention. Stupid. 

- At the end of the movie she apologizes to her sister, but never to her friends or the other people she walked all over? Absolutely infuriating. We don’t know how else to describe this film. Barbie was so rude and unaware of the kind of privilege she had and acted spoiled the entire time, which is why it’s ranked at the complete bottom. 

- Also there was a romantic interest, I think????? He was a reporter? Don’t remember his name. Doesn’t matter. They didn’t get together. Also the fashion and colors in this movie are horrendous. Like c’mon guys. 

Oh also how could we forget. GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all. So aggressively heterosexual.

Also: We know that Barbie is usually a princess in all of these movies and usually we don’t really care, but this one was especially bad when it came to her acting so fucking privileged. I swear we’re not insane this one was just so bad when it came to that. 

35. BARBIE AND THE SECRET DOOR (2014)

This one isn’t going to be as long or intense as Princess Power (which literally had so much wrong with it that we barely covered any of it). This one was just so offensively ugly. And boring. And stupid. I hated it so much. 

This is also another one where she’s a princess and she whines about how her life is so hard? 

In the beginning, she talks about how all she does is lay around all day and read books, and then later sings a song about how she wishes she could lay around all day and read books? Like, we stan a bookworm queen, but she acts so ungrateful for her lifestyles and then never mentions liking to read again when the main adventure of the movie starts. Just overall dumb and boring. 

Also this is so fucking ugly. Did we mention that this movie is ugly?

I don’t know who approved of these backgrounds and colors but they’re just so hideous like it literally gives me a headache. 

GAYNESS RANK: Pretty heterosexual. Barbie doesn’t have a love interest which is kind of nice and the two girls she meets are cute friends, but not enough to be noteworthy when it comes to gay. 

34. BARBIE A PERFECT CHRISTMAS (2011)

For being centered around Christmas, this didn’t feel like a Christmas movie at all. It tried to follow the typical plot of “We had a great Christmas planned but then oh no! So many things went wrong! But in the end all that matters is that you’re with your family and that’s what Christmas is all about :)” but they somehow managed to fuck that up? This movie is so mean? Barbie’s sisters are awful to each other, and lash out multiple times, especially at the youngest sister. Even if they tried to make up at the end the whole film felt very mean-spirited for a Christmas movie. 

The message about family was lost when they were more concerned with streaming a band performance rather than spending time with each other. It just was not great overall and left a very sour taste in our mouths. Would not recommend to show a kid around Christmas. 

GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all. Pretty heterosexual. Skipper (the brunette) kind of had this weird thing with her girl friend that lived in New York but it didn’t really go anywhere. Her friend was never shown on screen, anyway. 

Also the movies really fucking ugly. We’re not even going to mention the horrendous pink Christmas trees. You’re welcome. 

33. BARBIE MAGIC OF THE RAINBOW (2007) (also known as Fairytopia 3)

Being the 3rd movie in the Fairytopia series, it’s by far the worst. The portrayal of Barbie/the main character was very obnoxious and careless. She was automatically good at everything she did on the first try and it was honestly so unrealistic and didn’t teach a great message at all. 

It also just, like, had these fairies attend school? To strengthen their powers, I guess? It wasn’t really explained. Barbie was very mean to a another fairy and even if they made up at the end it didn’t feel genuine. I think they were just trying to milk this Fairytopia series for everything it was worth and I’m glad it stopped after this one. 

Her bf in this one wasn’t bad, though, he was pretty sweet. He could talk to animals which was charming. 

GAYNESS RANK: Mid-tier. Even though she fought with the one fairy they had a pretty intense rivalry thing going on, which was pretty gay. Even though she had a bf they kind of barely interacted since Barbie was so engrossed with the other fairy. A few gay points I guess. Though those few gay points get taken away when her annoying fluff ball Bibble gets an ugly fluff ball girlfriend. Stupid.

32. BARBIE IN A MERMAID TALE (2010)

Okay, like... I barely watched this one so my roommate took the fall. So, I’m going to quote them for this: “This one was just written badly, objectively. The pacing was horrendous. The story was very contrived. *long pause*....... That’s all.” 

Yeah I don’t have much to say about this one either. I remember Barbie being bitchy towards her friends and her guardian. When a magic dolphin asks her to help she’s just like “no, fuck you” for literally no reason at all? She surfs but it’s not even that cool, so... wasted potential.

GAYNESS RANK: There’s not nothing? Some potential. Her surfing buddies hang around and she hangs out with her mermaid friends as well. Other than that, though... :( (I promise there will be Barbie movies that are gay just wait) 

31. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN A PUPPY CHASE (2016)

This movie... is so strange. We hated it so much, but it was also kind of ironically hilarious??? This is the second movie in the “Barbie and her Sisters + Puppies” series (which are terrible) but this one was special in how awful it was. 

Barbie is SUCH AN IRRESPONSIBLE SISTER. So they go on vacation to some tropical island and Barbie’s youngest sister has a dance recital to practice for, but Barbie just straight up tells her to not practice?? LIKE??? BARBIE?!

They also end up fucking deserted on this island. Everything you can think of goes wrong for them. It’s honestly incredible. At one point they’re stranded outside in the rain only eating granola bars by a fire. Barbie tries to cheer them up by playing this STUPID game called “imagine if” where they just name things that they wish would happen??? 

Oh and at the end Barbies sister ends up winning her dance recital when her whole family and an entire entourage of animals dance with her on stage. Cause, like, yeah, that’s totally fucking fair to the other contestants. 

GAYNESS RANK: All of these Puppy movies are absolutely not gay at all bc it’s literally just Barbie and her sisters with some puppies. Don’t expect too much.  

30. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN THE GREAT PUPPY ADVENTURE (2015)

This is the first movie in the Sisters + Puppies series and it’s pretty much just as bad as the other one, but at least Puppy Chase was funny. This one is really boring. Also forgot to mention that the puppies talk. It’s very annoying and absolutely ruins the movies. 

This movie on the surface kind of has a charming premise where they all go on vacation to the countryside/the midwest and experience a lot of small town things, and yet it doesn’t feel very genuine? As someone from the midwest I can confirm. 

Barbie and her sisters go on this treasure hunt that apparently their grandfather died trying to solve, and yet they manage to solve it within a couple days? caitlovesdisney explains it pretty well in her video if you wanna hear more about Puppy Adventure. I know you’re just dying to know more about Puppy Adventure. 

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie at one point talks to another woman who isn’t one of her sisters. Super exciting stuff. 

29. BARBIE THE PRINCESS AND THE POPSTAR (2012) 

Okaaaaay, like....... this one made us really. really. mad. 

So we’ve already mentioned how Barbie acts super privileged in some of these movies, but this is the one that made us notice it. The basic premise is that there’s a princess (Barbie) and a popstar (Who Cares) and they want to switch lives. 

But the thing is they already live amazing lives? So the other Barbie film that this one borrows from (The Princess and the Pauper) loses its meaning and drama? Instead of a rich girl and poor girl trading lives, it’s just two rich girls switching lives. 

ALSO! There’s this side plot where, within the castle, they have this tree that can GROW DIAMONDS? AND THAT’S THE SOURCE OF THE KINGDOM’S WEALTH? AND YET, LATER IN THE MOVIE, THERE ARE POOR PEOPLE LIVING IN POVERTY. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DIAMOND TREE FOR?????

The only saving grace for this movie was that Barbie and the popstar were extremely gay. Like, having posters and pictures of each other in their rooms, gazing at each other dreamily from balconies, and subtly being very touchy-feely every time they’re together in person. That’s pretty much the only reason why it’s a bit higher than some of the others. 

GAYNESS RANK: One of the gayest ones. There are so many side glances and yearning. Shoulder touches and all that. We totally shipped these two by the end. In a different universe, in a better movie... these two could have been super cute together. 

28. BARBIE THE PEARL PRINCESS (2014)

Not much to say about this one. I hated it a lot more than my roommate did and I’m the one typing this all out sooooo I get the final say. I hate this movie so much. Barbie, once again, acted really privileged and was super unlikable. At one point she gets a job at a hair salon, which is kinda nice I guess? But then she’s automatically good at it without even trying? So... fuck off. 

Also there’s a seahorse with hair and it looked so ugly that I constantly wanted to cry. Please free me from the sleep paralysis demons that are the Barbie animal sidekicks. 

GAYNESS RANK: Nothing to report. The couple girls Barbie hangs out with were barely in the movie so there were no vibes. Sad. 

27. BARBIE IN ROCK N ROYALS (2015)

We’re getting to the mid-tier Barbie movies that we don’t have much to say about. My roommate and I just found the concept of this one to be really dumb? 

The outfits were very ugly and the singers were really bad. But there was a main character who was a black girl, which was really nice to see! They also went a little more punk than the typical frilly stuff which was nice to see. Not the worst but still ranked pretty low cause of the dumb premise and just being pretty boring overall. 

GAYNESS RANK: This one was decently gay, pretty mid-tier. Barbie had a great potential romance with the other main girl and the way they interacted was very sweet and cute. They both had male love interests but nothing really came of it which is kinda funny. Not too much going on but enough to get a mention. 

26. BARBIE PRINCESS CHARM SCHOOL (2011)

This was SO FRUSTRATING because it started out STRONG, but then crashed and burned really quickly. 

The movie starts out with Barbie working her ass off at a little diner to make ends meet at home. We see how her guardian can’t work and that she has a little sister and a home to support. It was really charming to see Barbie hustling to make money and felt so much more down-to-Earth than a lot of the other Barbie movies where she’s a princess and has everything she wants. 

Long story short, she wins this drawing to be enrolled in this Princess Charm School where you can learn to be royalty. In the end she finds out that she was the lost princess all along and then everything that was mentioned at the beginning is completely abandoned once this is found out. Just... super disappointing how a relatable Barbie depiction ends up being a princess all along :/

Also the fashion in this movie was super disappointing. They somehow managed to make preppy school girl outfits look bad. Sad. 

GAYNESS RANK: This one’s pretty much on the same level as Rock n Royals. There was some potential with Barbie and her friends but not much else. Next. 

25. BARBIE IN A MERMAID TALE 2 (2012)

Absolutely nothing to report. There’s some more surfing action in this one compared to the first one which is really nice. 

Imma be real with u chief... I barely remember what happens. She meets an Australian girl? She gets tricked by a French fish into transforming into a mermaid? Villain from the first movie comes back... Australian girl gets caught in a whirlpool... They save the day. 

There’s a pretty shitty part where the Australian girl wins the surfing competition but Barbie still somehow gets all the reporters’ attention and gets a sponsorship. It was sad and tbh we didn’t like that part. 

GAYNESS RANK: Gayer than most. Her and this girl have a rivalry which is pretty cute. They playfully tease each other while surfing all the time and tbh I could totally ship it. The Australian girl’s pretty spunky which is refreshing. Too bad her Australian accent was so obviously fake it was distracting. 

24. BARBIE FAIRYTOPIA (2005)

This one gets the award for the most boring Barbie movie. We both could not even try to bring ourselves to pay attention to this one, even if my roommate was nostalgic for it. Bibble was a highlight just cause we made fun of him the whole time but it was a short-lived high. That’s all. Here’s a creepy picture we found of the main character.

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie doesn’t have a love interest at all, which is like, a point... She hangs out with the blue fairy and they’re kinda cute. Not much else, though. 

23. BARBIE FAIRYTOPIA: MERMAIDIA (2006)

My roommate is really nostalgic for this one since they grew up with it, and yet they found it hard to pay attention at all. As did I. It was pretty boring. About a week went by after we watched this one and my roommate was trying to talk about it but I literally did not remember watching it until they showed me a picture of the ugly ass snail with huge lips and it jump scared me. You had to be there I guess. 

They were mermaids... Bibble was there... typical Barbie shit. This image pretty much perfectly describes how enthralling it was to watch this. 

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie and the blue mermaid are a little gay. The love interest was pretty funny and cute. He did have a thing for the blue mermaid so a couple gay points get deducted. 

22. BARBIE THE 12 DANCING PRINCESSES (2006) 

We know this one’s a classic, but we just found it to be very boring? I know this seems like a trend but we swear that we didn’t think all the Barbie movies are boring, it’s just the middle of the list. The dancing in this one was kind of nice and there was an interesting subplot where this lady was slowly poisoning their dad. 

The only thing that seemed silly was when they would stow away to the magical island... Like, why? The lady banned dancing but they could have just danced in their rooms. No one ever went in to check on them or they would have noticed they were gone anyway. So what the hell. 

Also Barbie and all of her other sisters looked exactly the same and it was hard to tell them apart. The love interest was pretty cute, though. 

GAYNESS RANK: Nothing, absolutely zippo. They’re all sisters and she had a nice romance with the guy so. 

21. BARBIE AND THE DIAMOND CASTLE (2008)

Gonna get this out of the way: There is basically nothing to report when it comes to the plot of this movie. Evil force upon the land. A villain. Animal sidekicks. Love interest/Ken who’s barely in the movie. Barbie defeats the evil and gets a new dress. THE END. BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT.

THIS MOVIE... IS SO GAY?

This was at the top of our gay Barbie list literally the entire time (until it was dethroned, but we’ll get to that later). This story LITERALLY revolves around Barbie and her “friend” who: live together in the same house, write songs together, dream about living in a mansion together, garden together, sing while gardening together... LIKE?? Holy shit, lesbian goals. 

At one point in the film they find two heart shaped rocks in the river and make them into necklaces, which they both wear to solidify their “friendship”. We are not making this up. This entire movie was comprised of us looking incredulously at each other every time they stared longingly at one another or mentioned how much they need each other. Evidence:

GAYNESS RANKING: Not gonna say it again. Top-tier gay. However, amazingly, not the gayest. We’ll get into that later. Regardless, we stan two beautiful lesbians living in the woods together where all they do is wear heart-shaped necklaces and sing songs about being rich one day. Amazing.

20. THUMBELINA (2009)

A Barbie movie with an environmental message, which is fine, I guess... Overall we just kinda found this movie annoying, but still a little bit better than other ones that were either insulting or just downright boring. Ferngully for babies? 

I... Wish I could say more. I’m sorry. It’s fine if you were going to show it to a kid, I guess. We also thought this one was kinda ugly as well. 

GAYNESS RANK: There are the two friends and we got no vibes. Absolutely zippo. Next. 

19. BARBIE MARIPOSA AND HER BUTTERFLY FAIRY FRIENDS (2008)

Another one where we just don’t have much to say? We’re now entering the “fine” category. I wouldn’t be really mad if someone made me rewatch it, but I wouldn’t be happy with it either. 

Barbie is also a bookworm in this one, but it’s done a lot better than Secret Door. It’s kind of nice how she’s considered an outcast in this one and has to work through that. Her love interest (Carlos, we remembered his name!) was funny and brought life to the movie. Overall pretty okay!

The bunny sidekick was kind of ugly, though. Can’t win in every category.

GAYNESS RANK: Has some promising potential, but doesn’t really deliver. Disappointing but not awful. 

18. BARBIE MARIPOSA AND THE FAIRY PRINCESS (2013)

This one is a lot better than the first! Surprisingly, this movie deals racism in a way that is easily digestible for children while also not making light of the issue. It’s not perfect, but we found it to do its job pretty well. 

It centers around Barbie meeting a princess (Barbie isn’t a princess for once, yay!) and while the two want to be friends, the princess is a crystal wing fairy and Barbie is a butterfly wing fairy, so the princesses father objects to them being friends. 

Also great time to mention that this was the second gayest Barbie movie for many many many reasons. And trust us, topping Diamond Castle is no easy feat. 

First of all, there are SEVERAL scenes where the crystal fairy princess is completely disinterested in what’s going on but, as soon as Barbie walks in, she gets really excited and gives her her full attention. It’s EXTREMELY cute. 

Second, there’s a Beauty and the Beast esque scene where the crystal fairy gives Barbie an entire library of books, since she remembers that she loves books. They also proceed to bond over what kind of books they like and watching them geek out over that is adorable. 

Third, they sneak off to a cave so that they can hang out without the crystal fairy’s father (the king) finding them. They then go to skip rocks on a lake and the ripples make rainbows. They also dance together at a ball, and there is just so much lingering eye contact and small touches. They’re cute and we ship. 

GAYNESS RANK: ALMOST top of the list. SUPER close. Not quite there, though. We weren’t expecting this one to be as gay as it was since it was a sequel movie, but thank god it was. 

17. BARBIE VIDEO GAME HERO (2017)

This... is a weird one? The basic plot is that Barbie is a programmer who makes video games. She gets sucked into a video game and they need her help to rid the game of viruses. We’re really conflicted about this movie so this will benefit from some good ol fashioned bullet points. 

- It’s really cool that Barbie’s a programmer and likes to play video games, and she’s not a princess! It was very nice and modern of them to include a story like this. Very refreshing after 30 or so Barbie movies that revolve around her being a princess.

- There’s a lot of side characters who join Barbie on her quest, but none of them are interesting or memorable...

- The art style changes between “levels”, and while a cute idea, they don’t take advantage of it enough! There are only three art style changes in the whole movie, and two out of the three are really ugly. 

- There is so much Just Dance product placement in this movie. It’s cringe. 

- The plot of this movie literally... makes no sense? They say that once Barbie wins the level, the viruses attacking that said level will be destroyed, but throughout the movie every time she wins they still don’t stop??? So that’s why she had to have a bunch of characters follow her around so they wouldn’t get attacked by viruses? SO WHAT IS SHE WINNING THE LEVELS FOR?

- This movie was probably the most baby out of all of them. While there’s nothing wrong with that, it was kind of a shock after we were watching all the other Barbie films, which are more targeted towards children to tweens. This one felt like it was for toddlers. 

- Overall this movie wasn’t bad, just very strange. Would maybe recommend? Fine for your kid to watch if they want something casual and fun that involves a girl gamer. Gamers rise up. 

GAYNESS RANK: No gay vibes at all, which is not a total epic gamer moment. Probs because this movie was very very baby so the vibes were nonexistent. Too bad since Barbie met up with a lot of cute girls. Gaymer oppression never ends :(. Press F.

16. BARBIE DOLPHIN MAGIC (2017)

We did it lads. We found The Gayest Barbie Movie that has Ever Existed.

Before we get to that, though, I hate to admit that this is one of the Barbie’s Sisters + Puppies movies, but it’s kind of hilarious because in this one they completely remove the puppies talking. I guess someone smartened up and realized that that was stupid and dumb. Thank god for them because it made the movie infinitely better. 

Plot is simple: Barbie and her sisters are on vacation and while they’re visiting the most boring man on Earth (Ken), an emerald dolphin gets trapped by an evil marine biologist who wants to sell the dolphin for money. Then a mermaid named Isla (yes we remember her name because she’s incredible) goes to save the dolphin with the help of Barbie (with minimal contributions from the others). 

I know we raved about how Fairy Princess was very gay, but just......... wow......... The difference between this and fairy princess is that Dolphin Magic literally has an entire scene dedicated to Barbie and Isla swimming together very closely with ethereal music, littered with cute giggling, lingering shoulder touches, and extended eye contact. Oh, also can’t forget the hand holding.

Don’t forget about the necklaces they give each other so that they can stay connected with each other no matter where they are in the world. There’s even a scene at the end where Isla mentions how Barbie kept trying to contact her multiple times off-screen, only validating Barbies insane girl crush on Isla. 

This may or may not be photoshopped but tbh I don’t give a damn. 

GAYNESS RANK: The gayest Barbie movie. These two were so adorable throughout the entire movie and we couldn’t even get into everything that made it so charming. There were many scenes where Isla was learning how to act like a human that were so sweet and endearing. Great Barbie movie if you’re looking for something sweet with some obvious lesbians. Go team. 

15. BARBIE NUTCRACKER (2001)

We had a lot to say about Dolphin Magic since it was gay, but now we’re getting back into the “it’s fine” category with Nutcracker. 

This movie is sweet and it’s pretty hard to fuck up a Nutcracker adaptation. There wasn’t a ton of ballet which was a little disappointing? They also didn’t play the whole soundtrack and stuck a lot of the good songs right at the end, which was odd. Our only real complaint was it kind of wasted its potential and it was slightly boring. 

Other than that, it’s a sweet Christmas movie if anyone really likes Barbie and the Nutcracker. My roommate grew up on the Nutcracker so regardless it can be pretty nostalgic for some. 

Also, Barbie is beautiful in this movie. 

GAYNESS RANK: There literally is not another female for Barbie to interact with in this movie. There were a couple guys who could have possibly given off vibes but we felt nothing so. 

14. BARBIE A FASHION FAIRYTALE (2010)

If there’s anything to say about this one, it’s definitely... interesting. 

So in this universe, Barbie is an actress, and she plays herself in a bunch of pre-existing Barbie movies (many of which that have already been mentioned on this list). It’s extremely meta and a little confusing???

Barbie basically gets fired from her job, Ken dumps her, and she goes to find herself in Paris with her fashion designer aunt. The most interesting thing we can really say about this movie is describing the beginning, because that was the best part by far. 

It’s also revealed that Ken did not actually dump her, so there’s a really charming side plot where Ken travels all the way from LA to Paris to sort it all out in person through a spontaneous act of romance. 

Ken ABSOLUTELY makes this movie. We quote him a lot when we’re just hanging out in the apartment. He is so cute and funny and loves Barbie so much, it’s adorable. Absolutely worth the watch to see a true himbo in action. 

Also, Ken and Barbie kiss at the end and we’re p sure this is the only movie where Barbie actually kisses any of her love interests. Fuck yeah. 

GAYNESS RANK: There’s no gayness, but that’s okay, because the romance between Barbie and Ken is adorable. I never want anything to get between these two :’)

13. BARBIE IN A CHRISTMAS CAROL (2008)

Not much more to say about this one other than it’s a Christmas Carol but with Barbie. It was interesting to see Barbie in a “Scrooge” role where she has to relearn how to be caring and kind. It was pretty down to Earth and felt very Christmas-y and festive. 

There was a very sweet plot of Barbie reconnecting with a girl she used to sing with as they were growing up. It was also interesting to see that while Barbie was growing up, her family would force her to practice singing rather than letting her go outside and live a normal life. This made Barbie feel a little more down-to-Earth. 

Sorry, we don’t really know what else to say. It’s fine. The cat is very ugly, though. 

GAYNESS RANK: There’s a scene at the end, after Barbie reconnects with her friend, where she’s holding her hands and giggling a lot. It was really cute to see them be friends and to be excited about the holidays together. A couple gay points were deducted since her friend did have a love interest, though.

12. BARBIE AND THE THREE MUSKETEERS (2009)

Not gonna lie, this one was a little... disappointing? We were really excited for this one since it’s a lot of people’s favorite, and the concept of Barbie being a musketeer (and not a princess :)) is exciting and fresh. 

The beginning of this movie was great!! Seeing Barbie practicing in the barn with her animals was just really sweet. She was wearing a cute outfit with pants a vest and the HAT. 

Though, as it went on, it started to drop off for us. The reveal of the musketeers at the end was really underwhelming, and we thought the outfits were a let down compared to Barbie’s earlier outfit in the movie. 

Other than those things, this movie was fun!! Watching all the girls be badass and learn how to fight with their unique weapons was awesome. Watching them team up was really satisfying. The prince guy was also pretty sweet. We would recommend watching this, esp if you remember it being your favorite.

GAYNESS RANK: Has a lot of gay energy!! There are a few scenes where people are outwardly sexist towards her and yet she strives to prove them wrong. When she meets the other girls, they are coached by this old lady who can kick ass. Even though it could have been gayer it was a good time.

11. BARBIE A FAIRY SECRET (2011)

Some people may be mad that we put this above Three Musketeers... whoops. 

Anyway this movie solely exists to give us more Amazing Ken content. This movie takes place in the same universe as Fashion Fairy Tale, so it’s the same Barbie and Ken from that movie. 

Our only complaint is that they took the domestic feel of Fashion Fairy Tale and turned it into something that had so much unnecessary magic?? Though at the same time we got A Vibe from this movie that the creators just wanted to make something silly, and it worked.

Ken is HILARIOUS in this movie, even better than Fashion Fairy Tale. Even though everyone turns into a fairy, the wings that they give Ken are small and pink and he can barely fly with them. It’s just so... funny? He also... mock-fights this other buff fairy guy?? Idk this movie is really hard to explain, sorry. We would definitely recommend this even if just for Ken. 

GAYNESS RANK: Ken is a himbo so he automatically attracts the lesbian crowd. There’s also a plot with Barbie where she makes up with this girl who had been mean to her for the longest time, but it’s done in a way that just feels... really gay? Or at least the girl is kinda gay and Barbie doesn’t exactly realize (since she’s in a committed relationship with Ken). This movie feels like it would be more appealing to gay people rather than being gay itself.

10. BARBIE AS THE PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (2004)

A lot of people are probably going to be surprised that this isn’t in our top 5, but we want to stress that this movie is good!! These top 10 Barbie movies are getting into the territory where we would absolutely recommend them because they are cute and fun, and this is exactly that!

The songs in this movie are great! However, we do have to be a little bitter towards it since this started the trend of musical Barbie movies, and many of them are shitty and bad compared to this. 

The villain of this movie....... *chefs kiss* We also quote him constantly. 

This is an example of a Barbie movie where she’s a princess but it’s very endearing and done well. She rarely comes off as spoiled. She’s very smart and brave, and we see this through her actions rather than the movie just obnoxiously telling us that she is. Also the romance between the pauper and the king was very sweet. 

GAYNESS RANK: While this was a great set-up to be gay, it doesn’t follow through. We’re not bitter about it, though, since their love interests were very sweet. Pretty straight of them to have their cats fall in love, though :/

9. BARBIE AS THE ISLAND PRINCESS (2007)

When we first watched this one, we thought it was extremely boring and we were going to put it kind of low, but the more we thought about it we realized that it really did have a great plot.

They brought Barbie to civilization from her deserted island and people start getting sick, so they’re blaming Barbie for bringing diseases when in reality it’s the villain using rats to poison people’s food. Also, it was so charming and interesting to see Barbie’s love interest want to be an adventurer, and he had so much more personality than a lot of other Barbie Princes. While he’s not on Ken’s level, he was so sweet. 

All in all this one definitely had one of the tightest plots with great characters that really endears you to them. It’s a little slow but def worth the watch.

GAYNESS RANK: One of the least gay ones... Not mad though, the love interests were great. The peacock was kinda gay so... love wins. 

8. BARBIE OF SWAN LAKE (2003)

People will ALSO be surprised that this one is so low compared to other people’s Barbie movie lists. Please, trust us, we’re not crazy, it’s just... when you’ve watched 30+ other Barbie movies the initial charm of this kind of wears off. We both are very nostalgic for this movie and yet that couldn’t even bump it into the top 5. 

A couple things we can praise: The toys were AMAZING, Barbie’s dress is BEAUTIFUL and ICONIC, the dancing and music were very gorgeous. The dancing in this movie was mocapped from real ballet dancers, so, very nice.

But... the forest animals were kind of annoying? Their outfits were kind of cute but they were still annoying? The villain’s daughter’s VOICE was just... HORRENDOUS. With the villain in Princess and the Pauper, the guy’s voice was comical but it didn’t completely take you out of the movie. This chick, however, was being so over dramatic that it wasn’t even ironically funny, it was very cringey... Just bad voice acting all around. 

Also this movie was a lot more boring than we remember. 

REGARDLESS OF ALL OF THAT, this is a CLASSIC Barbie movie and we would still recommend checking it out at least once (and rewatching if you haven’t seen it since you were a kid). 

GAYNESS RANK: Nothing gay to report. Next.

7. BARBIE IN THE PINK SHOES (2013)

Another... strange one. 

So Barbie is a ballet dancer about to do a performance and when her shoes break down, she goes into a store room and finds a pair of pink ballet shoes. When she puts them on, she and her friend are teleported into this alternate dimension??? Where all ballets ever are happening at the same time??? And she’s the main lead for all of them?? At once?? And there’s this ice queen villain who controls people by making them dance???????

This was the first Barbie movie we watched (we put them all in a wheel and let that decide our fate) and it sure did set the tone. 

Plot doesn’t matter though, we need to talk about... Them. Only Pink Shoes fans will understand. 

So, there are these two guys... and they’re just like... really gay??? They inspired us to apply a gay ranking to these Barbie movies, if that tells you anything. One in a prince and the other is a commoner/hunter. There are so many scenes where it cuts away from Barbie to focus on these two playfully bantering with each other (enemies to lovers 100k slowburn)? The hunter guy teaches the other how to shoot a bow and arrow by touching him and guiding him into the right position? There’s also a scene where they meet back up with Barbie, but they only have two horses, so instead of Barbie riding with one of them they ride with each other and give her her own horse??? Respect women juice...

They also show up at the end just... together? (in real life not in the... Pink Shoes dimension) and it’s not explained what they’re doing together or even what their relationship is (friendship or otherwise). It truly was bizarre. 

GAYNESS RANK: This was on top for quite awhile since it was the first movie we watched. Unfortunately de-throned by Diamond Castle when we got around to it, but we still STAN these himbos. 

6. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN A PONY TALE (2013)

I... okay hear us out...

This movie is bad. Like, objectively it’s very very bad. It’s a baby movie, a Barbie and her sisters movie, it’s a horse girl movie, on top of everything... and yet... 

We probably had the most fun watching this one, like, we were glued to the fucking screen. We cried laughing multiple times because it was just so charmingly bad. 

Plot isn’t important, since my roommate and I keep forgetting what the real plot is. We only care about the British boys from the rivaling stable and how they just breeze in and out and run away on their horses laughing like frenchmen... even though they’re British. One of them uncannily resembles Malfoy from hp and is a sidekick to the main guy, it’s a little weird. 

There are also these two British kids and the girl is super weird? Like weird girl representation for real. Also there’s this Phillipe guy who was so fucking funny to listen to. Here’s Phillipe, you’re welcome.

Fuck you I’m not resizing the image. 

Oh also Barbie finds a magic horse with a pink mane. Phillipe wants to like, kill her for it, I guess. Yeah. 

GAYNESS RANK: While super fucking funny, not a lot of gay. It makes up for it with the mere presence of Phillipe. 

5. BARBIE AND THE MAGIC OF PEGASUS (2005)

This and the next entry are both tied for 4th place since it was extremely hard to choose between the two. We were both nostalgic for this and the next entry, but we were also really excited to find out that both of these are great movies!

So me personally, I was a horse girl growing up, and I ADORED this movie. I didn’t think it would be so good upon rewatch, but it actually was! The plot was pretty tight, the villain was fun, it felt like a genuine fairytale, the characters were cute and fun, and Barbie was intelligent and resourceful! 

Check this one out if you haven’t seen it, but now we’re going to talk about one of the best aspects of this movie, which is Barbie’s love interest. 

Unlike every single other Barbie bf, the love interest in this one (named Aiden) was literally almost a better character than Barbie herself. For the first time EVER they decided to give a Barbie love interest a BACKSTORY. And, like, a GOOD backstory. It made him feel like a real person and his story pulled at your heartstrings. 

Also, him and Barbie do not automatically get along, and for a decent amount of time they have witty banter with one another. It really lets their characters shine through the movie and was SO refreshing. 

We could rave about Aiden all day, but you guys should just go watch it for yourself, it really is worth it!

GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all, but fine since the romance is so great. Moving on!

4. BARBIE AS RAPUNZEL (2002)

This movie is just... good. And not even good for a Barbie movie, it’s just a well-written movie overall! The plot was tight and remained interesting without being too complicated, either. Barbie’s animals were also pretty charming (even if the rabbit is ass ugly, but it’s 2002, they get a pass) and likable compared to other Barbie sidekicks. The dragon even has a little arc of her own??? Hell yeah. 

Don’t really have to explain the plot, it’s Rapunzel. The only difference is that she has a magical paintbrush that can teleport her to places that she paints, which helps the story progress. 

It also really did feel like Barbie was in mortal danger, which is so unlike every other Barbie movie. I was really glad to have grown up with this movie being my first exposure to Rapunzel, since I believe it’s a great introduction to her (and the toys were awesome, lol). This was another movie where Barbie being a princess was really great and charming since it felt earned since she went through hard times. 

Okay, like, we literally cannot go any further without mentioning something, stay with us...

In the movie, there’s, like, this weasel/ferret thing that belongs to the villain. He’s basically an animal villain, or whatever. 

I don’t really know how else to say this other than there’s this scene where he asks the villain to give him the rabbit and he outright just... moans????? The voice actor just... lets it out. It literally sounds like he’s getting a hand job in the recording booth in the middle of the line and just lets it all out and they kept that shit in, and then animated it???? 

We really wish we could include a video exclusively of that scene, but the best we can do is just link the video and give you a time stamp (37:49). PLEASE watch it. We have been quoting it every single day since we watched the damn movie.

GAYNESS RANK: No gay. Nothing to report. Barren. Probably the least gay. 

3. BARBIE SPY SQUAD (2016)

All due respect to the original queen caitlovesdisney, but like, she’s wrong about Spy Squad. Listen. 

This movie was SO MUCH FUN. We were literally just glued to the screen and having a great time watching these three girls chase after this cute af phantom thief chick??? They had tons of cops-and-robbers dialogue with her and it was just... FUN. Almost like a thriller, tbh. 

caitlovesdisney did make a great point in her video when she mentioned that they were actually pretty bad at being spies, and we can totally see why this would be super frustrating to people if they were watch. However, my roommate and I didn’t mind? We thought it was charming that they weren’t automatically great at something and that they had to practice a ton to get better. So much more refreshing compared to other Barbie stories. 

The elephant in the room, though... we have to talk about Lazlo. 

Barbie’s friend (Theresa) has the cutest fucking romance with the boy who builds all their spy equipment throughout the movie. They’re both really nerdy, but they don’t shove it down your throat and act annoying about it? It literally just comes up in casual conversation between the two of them and they just have fun talking about things they like. It was so fucking cute and it made the movie that much better. 

GAYNESS RANK: This movie is REALLY REALLY... APPEALING to gay people, even though it’s not really gay itself. The phantom thief, the spy outfits, all the girls riding motorcycles, the leather, the cool spy equipment... It just felt like it would appeal to a lot of gay people (and it did, cause we fuckin liked it). This movie is good. Please watch it and don’t let its low ranking on other lists dissuade you. We are right and they are wrong. 

2. THE BARBIE DIARIES (2006)

Before yall say anything, we know that this movie is fucking ugly. We clowned on some of the other movies for being ugly but this one truly takes the ugly cake. 

HOWEVER, that did not prevent this movie from being good. We fucking loved it. 

FIRST OF ALL, Barbie is in high school???? Which was so fresh to see???? There’s no magic, no princesses. It’s literally just a down-to-Earth teen drama movie involving Barbie, her friends, a love interest, and some mean girls. 

This had a really interesting plot that was actually kind of... complicated???? Dare I say??? We’re not stupid. There was just so much going on involving couples breaking up and getting back together, Barbie changing her motivations, how her friends react to what she’s doing, just... so much.

The only real criticism we have of this one is that the apology in this one was pretty rushed and didn’t feel Barbie’s friends should have forgiven her so easily for the shit she did. Other than that, though, this was a pretty great teen drama that I would highly recommend. I would definitely watch this one again, regardless of how ugly it is. 

GAYNESS RANK: Barbie had a clear love interest with a guy that was super sweet (sorry we didn’t mention him but he’s one of the better love interests, love u Kev) but mean girl teen drama is always a little gay? Plus how she would go back and forth between social circles was interesting. Also her and her friends are in a band, which is always cool and appealing to the gays, at least. 

1. BARBIE STARLIGHT ADVENTURE (2016)

We did it. We made it to the end. If there’s even one person who read this at all I would thank you but... you’ve lost along with us. BUT AT LEAST WE GET TO TELL YOU ABOUT STARLIGHT ADVENTURE. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This movie came out NOWHERE and fucking PUNCHED US IN THE FACE. When the wheel picked this one, we were starting to get burned out, and thought that since this was a newer Barbie movie it wouldn’t be very good. Boy, were we fucking wrong. 

This movie is so INTERESTING and HANDS DOWN has the best portrayal of Barbie as a character. This took such an interesting perspective on space travel, sci-fi, a slightly dystopian YA setting... it has so much going on but never feels like too much. 

Can we just start with how GORGEOUS this movie looks and how CUTE Barbie’s design is?!

She’s wearing a VEST and PANTS!!!!! FUCK YES. 

Anyway, the plot: She lives with her dad on this deserted planet, and she takes care of the animals, while also riding a hoverboard competitively. She’s contacted by some galactic king to join a team and fix the alignment of the stars? (sorry if it’s not exactly right lol its 4am). When accepting, she also meets this girl that she had been competing with at hoverboard competitions, and they develop a really sweet friendship with each other and a few other friends/teammates. 

Unlike the other Barbie movies, we kind of understand why everyone else looks up to Barbie as a leader figure. She makes decisions confidently and goes through so much character development. Even the villain goes through a sort of redemption arc, and it’s done fairly well!!! This is so much different from other Barbie movies. 

This feels like it could be, like, a legitimate movie that could be played in theaters rather than a straight-to-DVD Barbie movie. The animation in this was GORGEOUS, like miles better than 99% of the other movies. Plus, cute animal sidekick (FINALLY). 

We can’t gush about this enough, people should be made aware of this movie. It’s completely worth your time. IT’S ALSO ON NETFLIX. 

GAYNESS RANK: This is another one that’s moreso appealing to gay people rather than being gay itself. However, Barbie and the other girl that rides the hoverboard have a few really gay scenes, such as meeting up in a garden late at night and riding around. They giggle and laugh with each other and have a deep conversation about life and shit while staring up at the (gorgeously animated) sky. That def gets some points. 

That’s it those are all the 36 Barbie movies ranked based off of nothing but pure............................ hubris? Stupidity? Pride? I don’t know. I’m so sorry. We fucking hated watching most of these. 

Except for Starlight Adventure.... You can stay.